Dangerous Invitations (2002)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Zero Dark Thirty

A chronicle of the decade-long hunt for al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the September 2001 attacks, and his death at the hands of the Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 in May, 2011.

Django Unchained

With the help of a German bounty hunter, a freed slave sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner.

Oppenheimer

The story of J. Robert Oppenheimer's role in the development of the atomic bomb during World War II.

Jack the Giant Slayer

The story of an ancient war that is reignited when a young farmhand unwittingly opens a gateway between our world and a fearsome race of giants. Unleashed on the Earth for the first time in centuries, the giants strive to reclaim the land they once lost, forcing the young man, Jack into the battle of his life to stop them. Fighting for a kingdom, its people, and the love of a brave princess, he comes face to face with the unstoppable warriors he thought only existed in legend–and gets the chance to become a legend himself.

Jurassic World Rebirth

Five years after the events of Jurassic World Dominion, covert operations expert Zora Bennett is contracted to lead a skilled team on a top-secret mission to secure genetic material from the world's three most massive dinosaurs. When Zora's operation intersects with a civilian family whose boating expedition was capsized, they all find themselves stranded on an island where they come face-to-face with a sinister, shocking discovery that's been hidden from the world for decades.

Pulp Fiction

A burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner, a drug-addled gangster's moll and a washed-up boxer converge in this sprawling, comedic crime caper. Their adventures unfurl in three stories that ingeniously trip back and forth in time.

Eden Lake

When a young couple goes to a remote wooded lake for a romantic getaway, their quiet weekend is shattered by an aggressive group of local kids. Rowdiness quickly turns to rage as the teens terrorize the couple in unimaginable ways, and a weekend outing becomes a bloody battle for survival.

Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult

Frank Drebin is persuaded out of retirement to go undercover in a state prison. There he has to find out what top terrorist, Rocco, has planned for when he escapes. Adding to his problems, Frank's wife, Jane, is desperate for a baby.

Skyfall

When Bond's latest assignment goes gravely wrong, agents around the world are exposed and MI6 headquarters is attacked. While M faces challenges to her authority and position from Gareth Mallory, the new Chairman of the Intelligence and Security Committee, it's up to Bond, aided only by field agent Eve, to locate the mastermind behind the attack.

12 Angry Men

The defense and the prosecution have rested and the jury is filing into the jury room to decide if a young Spanish-American is guilty or innocent of murdering his father. What begins as an open and shut case soon becomes a mini-drama of each of the jurors' prejudices and preconceptions about the trial, the accused, and each other.

In Time

In the not-too-distant future, the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest struggle to negotiate for their immortality. A poor young man who suddenly comes into a fortune of time finds himself on the run from a corrupt police force known as the "time keepers".

Despicable Me 2

Gru is recruited by the Anti-Villain League to help deal with a powerful new super criminal.

Nightcrawler

When Lou Bloom, desperate for work, muscles into the world of L.A. crime journalism, he blurs the line between observer and participant to become the star of his own story. Aiding him in his effort is Nina, a TV-news veteran.

Nosferatu

The mysterious Count Orlok summons a happily married real estate agent to his castle, located up in the Transylvanian mountains, to finalise a terrifying deal.

The Devil's Advocate

Aspiring Florida defense lawyer Kevin Lomax accepts a job at a New York law firm. With the stakes getting higher every case, Kevin quickly learns that his boss has something far more evil planned.

Fast & Furious 6

Hobbs has Dominic and Brian reassemble their crew to take down a team of mercenaries; Dominic unexpectedly gets sidetracked with facing his presumed deceased girlfriend, Letty.

Cries and Whispers

As Agnes slowly dies of cancer, her sisters are so immersed in their own psychic pains that they are unable to offer her the support she needs.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

Ethan Hunt and his IMF team embark on their most dangerous mission yet: To track down a terrifying new weapon that threatens all of humanity before it falls into the wrong hands. With control of the future and the world's fate at stake and dark forces from Ethan's past closing in, a deadly race around the globe begins. Confronted by a mysterious, all-powerful enemy, Ethan must consider that nothing can matter more than his mission—not even the lives of those he cares about most.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit enjoying his quiet life, is swept into an epic quest by Gandalf the Grey and thirteen dwarves who seek to reclaim their mountain home from Smaug, the dragon.

Avatar

In the 22nd century, a paraplegic Marine is dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission, but becomes torn between following orders and protecting an alien civilization.

Superman

Superman, a journalist in Metropolis, embarks on a journey to reconcile his Kryptonian heritage with his human upbringing as Clark Kent.

RED 2

Retired C.I.A. agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device.

Chungking Express

Two melancholic Hong Kong policemen fall in love: one with a mysterious underworld figure, the other with a beautiful and ethereal server at a late-night restaurant.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

Los Angeles, 1969. TV star Rick Dalton, a struggling actor specializing in westerns, and stuntman Cliff Booth, his best friend, try to survive in a constantly changing movie industry. Dalton is the neighbor of the young and promising actress and model Sharon Tate, who has just married the prestigious Polish director Roman Polanski…

Inception

Cobb, a skilled thief who commits corporate espionage by infiltrating the subconscious of his targets is offered a chance to regain his old life as payment for a task considered to be impossible: "inception", the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Ethan and team take on their most impossible mission yet—eradicating 'The Syndicate', an International and highly-skilled rogue organization committed to destroying the IMF.

21 Jump Street

When cops Schmidt and Jenko join the secret Jump Street unit, they use their youthful appearances to go undercover as high school students. They trade in their guns and badges for backpacks, and set out to shut down a dangerous drug ring. But, as time goes on, Schmidt and Jenko discover that high school is nothing like it was just a few years earlier -- and, what's more, they must again confront the teenage terror and anxiety they thought they had left behind.

28 Days Later

Twenty-eight days after a killer virus was accidentally unleashed from a British research facility, a small group of London survivors are caught in a desperate struggle to protect themselves from the infected. Carried by animals and humans, the virus turns those it infects into homicidal maniacs -- and it's absolutely impossible to contain.

Total Recall

Construction worker Douglas Quaid's obsession with the planet Mars leads him to visit Recall, a company that manufactures memories. When his memory implant goes wrong, Doug can no longer be sure what is and isn't reality.

Elysium

In the year 2159, two classes of people exist: the very wealthy who live on a pristine man-made space station called Elysium, and the rest, who live on an overpopulated, ruined Earth. Secretary Rhodes, a hard line government official, will stop at nothing to enforce anti-immigration laws and preserve the luxurious lifestyle of the citizens of Elysium. That doesn’t stop the people of Earth from trying to get in, by any means they can. When unlucky Max is backed into a corner, he agrees to take on a daunting mission that, if successful, will not only save his life, but could bring equality to these polarized worlds.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.

Saving Private Ryan

As U.S. troops storm the beaches of Normandy, three brothers lie dead on the battlefield, with a fourth trapped behind enemy lines. Ranger captain John Miller and seven men are tasked with penetrating German-held territory and bringing the boy home.

Collateral

Cab driver Max picks up a man who offers him $600 to drive him around. But the promise of easy money sours when Max realizes his fare is an assassin.

Interstellar

The adventures of a group of explorers who make use of a newly discovered wormhole to surpass the limitations on human space travel and conquer the vast distances involved in an interstellar voyage.

Doctor Zhivago

The life of a Russian physician and poet who, although married to another, falls in love with a political activist's wife and experiences hardship during World War I and then the October Revolution.

Titanic

101-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story of her life aboard the Titanic, 84 years later. A young Rose boards the ship with her mother and fiancé. Meanwhile, Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets aboard the ship. Rose tells the whole story from Titanic's departure through to its death—on its first and last voyage—on April 15, 1912.

The A-Team

A man who loves when a plan comes together, Col. Hannibal Smith leads a close-knit team of elite operatives and Iraq War veterans. Framed for a crime they didn't commit, Smith and his men, Capt. H.M. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock , Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus, and Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, break out and go rogue, using their special talents to clear their names and find the perpetrator. Hot on their trail is Capt. Charissa Sosa, who was once involved with a member of Smith's team and has sworn to capture them, no matter what it takes.

Mesrine: Public Enemy #1

After nearly two decades of legendary criminal feats, making him France's most notorious criminal while simultaneously feeding his desire for media attention and public adoration, Mesrine becomes increasingly paranoid and isolated, leading to a dramatic confrontation with the law that ultimately seals his fate as the nation's most infamous public enemy.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

A fading actor best known for his portrayal of a popular superhero attempts to mount a comeback by appearing in a Broadway play. As opening night approaches, his attempts to become more altruistic, rebuild his career, and reconnect with friends and family prove more difficult than expected.

Secrets of the Satin Blues

A tale of sexual encounters of one woman and several friends, family members and acquaintances, as seen (and told) from the perspective of a pair of satin blue panties.

Dog Days

Vignettes of the lives of several residents of a Vienna suburb during a heat wave.

The Guru

Bored with Bollywood movies but fascinated with their Hollywood counterparts from his youth, Ram dreams to become a singer and actor in America, the country where dreams are made. He is encouraged when his American-based close friend, Vijay Rao, comes for visit, and brags about driving a Mercedes and living in a penthouse.

The Ferpect Crime

A playboy has the tables turned on him when he finds himself being used as a plaything by an undesirable woman.

Dead Ringers

Elliot, a successful gynecologist, works at the same practice as his identical twin, Beverly. Elliot is attracted to many of his patients and has affairs with them. When he inevitably loses interest, he will give the woman over to Beverly, the meeker of the two, without the woman knowing the difference. Beverly falls hard for one of the patients, Claire, but when she inadvertently deceives him, he slips into a state of madness.

Ants in the Pants 2

In the sequel of "Ants in the Pants" we again meet Flo and his friends.

Single White Female

Having recently split from her fiancé, Allison Jones welcomes new roommate Hedra Carlson. The young women quickly form a bond, but soon Allison begins to notice not all’s well with her new tenant.

EuroTrip

When Scott learns that his longtime cyber-buddy from Berlin is a gorgeous young woman, he and his friends embark on a trip across Europe.

Lower City

Best friends Deco and Naldinho co-own a cargo boat in Brazil's Salvador da Bahia. They give a ride to a sultry prostitute named Karinna, and soon both men fall prey to her considerable sexual charms, pushing the bounds of their friendship to the limit.

Animal House

At a 1962 College, Dean Vernon Wormer is determined to expel the entire Delta Tau Chi Fraternity, but those troublemakers have other plans for him.

Orgazmo

A devout Mormon living in L.A. becomes a pornographic actor after his martial arts moves impress a big-time director.

Dikkenek

Jean-Claude is a loud-mouthed, know-it-all and full time boor who is best friends with Stef, a self-styled lady killer who would do better with the fairer sex if he could work up the ambition to wake up in the morning. Stef has decided that he may need some help in finding the woman of his dreams, and embracing loyalty rather than logic he turns to Jean-Claude for advice.

Maladonna

In late XIX century, rich and bored Maria (Paola Senatore) is after a more sexually interesting life and gets involved with Alessio who shows her other kinds of love. She soon becomes his sex slave but some unexpected consequences will arise from her desperate search for sexual fulfillment.

Le Divorce

While visiting her sister in Paris, a young woman finds romance and learns her brother-in-law is a philanderer.

I ♥ Huckabees

A husband-and-wife team play detective, but not in the traditional sense. Instead, the happy duo helps others solve their existential issues, the kind that keep you up at night, wondering what it all means.

Last Tango in Paris

A recently widowed American begins an anonymous sexual relationship with a young Parisian woman.

Last Days

The life and struggles of a notorious rock musician seeping into a pit of loneliness whose everyday life involves friends and family seeking financial aid and favors, inspired by rock music legend Kurt Cobain and his final hours.

Rita

Rita, who finds herself alone when husband Ariel works abroad. They both find solace and sexual satisfaction in other people. When Ariel comes back, they both act like nothing happened. But will this keep their marriage from falling apart?

Splatter University

A sociology instructor finds her new teaching duties at a private college interrupted by the presence of a killer.

The Business of Strangers

A dark thriller about a successful businesswoman and her young assistant who toy with a slow-witted businessman while stuck at an airport hotel.

A Kiss Before Dying

Infatuated with the idea of becoming rich, college student Jonathan Corliss secretly dates Dorothy Carlsson to gain the approval of her wealthy father. When Dorothy tells Jonathan that she is pregnant and that her father will deny her inheritance if he finds out, Jonathan murders her, but he stages her death as a suicide. As Jonathan works his way onto Mr. Carlsson's payroll, Dorothy's twin sister, Ellen, investigates the apparent suicide.

Dinosaur Island

Welcome to lush Dinosaur Island, where a tribe of gorgeous cavedwelling warrior women satisfy the exotic fantasies of five downed military airmen. Fearsome battles with the island's ferocious maneating dinosaurs are the only disruption of their seductive pleasures on this island paradise. Narrowly surviving with their lives, the rugged men fall under the seductive spell of their lovely captors and soon find their every dream fulfilled.

Death in Love

Death in Love is a psychosexual-thriller about a love affair between a Jewish woman and a doctor overseeing human experimentation at a Nazi German concentration camp, and the impact this has on her sons' lives in the 1990s.

Black Cobra

After a swift courtship, wealthy bachelor Judas Carmichael invites a topless dancer to live with him and his abundant collection of exotic snakes.

The Greedy Ones

According to legend, a group of women escaped from Atlantis just before the destruction of the continent. They took refuge on a mysterious island, and founded a kingdom. Men who dared approach the island, were devoured by these sexually voracious Atlanteans, and thus they were called "gobblers".

The Real Blonde

An aspiring actor and his girlfriend handle life's frustrations, while his friend seeks fulfillment with a blonde.

Sugar Cookies

A film producer murders his star actress during an erotic "game" and makes it look like suicide. The dead girl's lesbian lover discovers what happened, and plots her revenge.

I Hate My Body

The brain of a male engineer is transplanted into a female’s body. He soon finds it very frustrating to cope with the daily sexist discrimination most women deal with. For example, he is surprised when no one will hire a female engineer. When he is faced with dealing with female sexuality, he quickly begins exhibiting lesbian tendencies.

Deep Throat Part II

Nurse Linda Lovelace works for libidinous sex therapist Dr. Jayson. One of the patients she is treating is Dilbert Lamb, a meek geek who's harboring plans for a top secret government computer. Both the KGB and FBI alike attempt to enlist Lovelace in order to obtain the data on the computer.

Fantasm Comes Again

Libbie is assigned to her paper's sexual advice column, "Dear Collete". She is taking over the job of Harry a crusty old journalist who shows her the pro's and cons of the job while running on a tight deadline to get the column finished for the morning's paper. During the course of the evening they reply to a wide variety of sexual experiences submitted by the readers, some these include, sex in a threesome at a drive-in theatre, sex in a gymnasium, and sex in a library where the "Silence Please" sign gives the male librarian an advantage over the female readers.

Rod Steele 0014: You Only Live Until You Die

Rod Steele (aka Agent 0014) is anything but the world's greatest super spy, but when diabolical villainess Tangerina threatens the world again, he's the world's last and only hope.

...And Give Us Our Daily Sex

A pair of sexy bisexual nurses live in an apartment building, one floor up from a middle-aged couple and their son Albert, who is busy putting his new science project—a periscope—to good use by spying on the lingerie-wearing lovelies. Meanwhile, Albert’s mother is being even naughtier than her precious boy, sneaking off for some extra-marital action while her hair-obsessed husband is at the salon, having his follicles tended to.

Palmetto

After spending two years in prison, framed for accepting a bribe, former newspaper reporter Harry Barber is released, bitter and disillusioned. Feeling like he were owed something for his loss of time, he proceeds to get himself involved in a simple kidnapping plot which turns out to be more complex than he imagined.

Dead Earth

Two young women's plans to try to live a normal life in isolation after a world ending apocalypse go awry when they are discovered.

Fire on the Amazon

When a well-known environmental researcher is murdered in the Amazon jungle, an arrogant photojournalist joins forces with a beautiful young activist to find out who is responsible. Along they way, they fall in love as they discover the men responsible for the killing would be more than willing to murder again if it will keep them quiet.

Reckless

An uncompromising and controversial short set in the Scandinavian suburbia on the hottest day of the summer. A sister reluctantly babysits her little brother. Two young boys catch her attention, and she makes a crucial decision.

American Pie 2

After a year apart - attending different schools, meeting different people - the guys rent a beach house and vow to make this the best summer ever. As it turns out, whether that will happen or not has a lot to do with the girls. Between the wild parties, outrageous revelations and yes, a trip to band camp, they discover that times change and people change, but in the end, it's all about sticking together.

Basic Instinct 2

Novelist Catherine Tramell is once again in trouble with the law, and Scotland Yard appoints psychiatrist Dr. Michael Glass to evaluate her. Though, like Detective Nick Curran before him, Glass is entranced by Tramell and lured into a seductive game.

The Harrad Experiment

At fictional Harrad College students learn about sexuality and experiment with each other. Based on the 1962 book of the same name by Robert Rimmer, this movie deals with the concept of free love during the height of the sexual revolution which took place in the United States.

Zabriskie Point

Anthropology student Daria, who's helping a property developer build a village in the Los Angeles desert, and dropout Mark, who's wanted by the authorities for allegedly killing a policeman during a student riot, accidentally encounter each other in Death Valley and soon begin an unrestrained romance.

In Bed

It all begins at a party in Santiago, Chile, when a seemingly innocent gesture -- the offer of a ride home -- ends in a passionate night of lovemaking and intense conversation for young singles Bruno and Daniela. Shacked up at a flea-bitten motel for a one-night stand, the pair lingers deep into the night, alternating between powerful physical encounters and an ever-deepening emotional connection.

Fallen Angel

Caught in a seedy underworld of lies, lust and murder, Antonelli, the local mob boss, and his sultry young wife, Michelle, share a game of deception and jealousy that soon turns deadly.

Ask the Dust

Mexican beauty Camilla hopes to rise above her station by marrying a wealthy American. That is complicated by meeting Arturo Bandini, a first-generation Italian hoping to land a writing career and a blue-eyed blonde on his arm.

Anatomy of Hell

A woman employs a gay man to spend four nights at her house to watch her when she's "unwatchable".

Original Sin

A young man is plunged into a life of subterfuge, deceit and mistaken identity in pursuit of a femme fatale whose heart is never quite within his grasp.

Love in 4 Easy Lessons

Four stories focused on the fair sex, dealing with the most varied and improbable sentimental and non-sentimental situations.

Two and One

A gay couple realizes they aren't sexually compatible, so they look for a third man. But when betrayal and jealousy sneak in, their relationship shatters into pieces.

Basquiat

The brief life of Jean Michel Basquiat, a world renowned New York street artist struggling with fame, drugs and his identity.

The Cuckoo

September of 1944, a few days before Finland went out of the Second World War. A chained to a rock Finnish sniper-kamikadze Veikko managed to set himself free. Ivan, a captain of the Soviet Army, arrested by the Front Secret Police 'Smersh', has a narrow escape. They are soldiers of the two enemy armies. A Lapp woman Anni gives a shelter to both of them at her farm. For Anni they are not enemies, but just men.

Rent

This rock opera tells the story of one year in the life of a group of bohemians struggling in late 1980s East Village, New York, USA. The film centers around Mark and Roger, two roommates. While a tragedy has made Roger numb to new experiences, Mark begins capturing their world through his attempts to make a personal movie. In the year that follows, they and their friends deal with love, loss, and working together.

Color of Night

A color-blind psychiatrist is stalked by an unknown killer after taking over his murdered friend's therapy group and becomes embroiled in an intense affair with a mysterious woman who may be connected to the crime.

Body of Evidence

When an elderly millionaire is found dead with cocaine in his system, his will leaves $8 million to Rebecca Carlson, who was having an affair with him. District attorney Robert Garrett decides to prosecute Rebecca, arguing that she deliberately engaged in wild sex with the old man to overexcite him and lead to his premature death. Defense attorney Frank Dulaney defends Rebecca in court while getting sucked into a dangerous affair with her.

Pepper

The painful awakening of a couple after an evening of fantasies ...

The Feels

A lesbian bachelorette weekend goes awry when one of the brides admits she's never had an orgasm.

The Four Feathers

A young British officer resigns his post when he learns of his regiment's plan to ship out to the Sudan for the conflict with the Mahdi. His friends and fiancée send him four white feathers as symbols of what they view as his cowardice. To redeem his honor, he disguises himself as an Arab and secretly saves their lives.

Buffalo Soldiers

A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.

11:14

Tells the seemingly random yet vitally connected story of a set of incidents that all converge one evening at 11:14pm. The story follows the chain of events of five different characters and five different storylines that all converge to tell the story of murder and deceit.

Road Trip

After an Ithaca College student films his one-night stand with a beautiful sorority girl, he discovers one of his friends has accidentally mailed the homemade sex tape to his girlfriend in Austin. In a frenzy, he must borrow a car and hit the road in a desperate bid to intercept the tape.

Absurdistan

An allegorical comedy centered on two childhood sweethearts who seem destined for one another until the women of their isolated village, angered by male indifference toward the water shortage, go on a sex strike that threatens the young couple's first night of love.

Alpha Dog

Johnny Truelove likes to see himself as tough. He's the son of an underworld figure and a drug dealer. Johnny also likes to get tough when things don't go his way. When Jake Mazursky fails to pay up for Johnny, things get worse for the Mazursky family, as Johnny and his 'gang' kidnap Jake's 15 year old brother and hold him hostage.