Dangerous Invitations (2002)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Humanity finds a mysterious object buried beneath the lunar surface and sets off to find its origins with the help of HAL 9000, the world's most advanced super computer.

Pulp Fiction

A burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner, a drug-addled gangster's moll and a washed-up boxer converge in this sprawling, comedic crime caper. Their adventures unfurl in three stories that ingeniously trip back and forth in time.

Parasite

All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.

A Quiet Place

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Young hobbit Frodo Baggins, after inheriting a mysterious ring from his uncle Bilbo, must leave his home in order to keep it from falling into the hands of its evil creator. Along the way, a fellowship is formed to protect the ringbearer and make sure that the ring arrives at its final destination: Mt. Doom, the only place where it can be destroyed.

La La Land

Mia, an aspiring actress, serves lattes to movie stars in between auditions and Sebastian, a jazz musician, scrapes by playing cocktail party gigs in dingy bars, but as success mounts they are faced with decisions that begin to fray the fragile fabric of their love affair, and the dreams they worked so hard to maintain in each other threaten to rip them apart.

Forrest Gump

A man with a low IQ has accomplished great things in his life and been present during significant historic events—in each case, far exceeding what anyone imagined he could do. But despite all he has achieved, his one true love eludes him.

Get Out

Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family's overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter's interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

Interstellar

The adventures of a group of explorers who make use of a newly discovered wormhole to surpass the limitations on human space travel and conquer the vast distances involved in an interstellar voyage.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

In 1926, Newt Scamander arrives at the Magical Congress of the United States of America with a magically expanded briefcase, which houses a number of dangerous creatures and their habitats. When the creatures escape from the briefcase, it sends the American wizarding authorities after Newt, and threatens to strain even further the state of magical and non-magical relations.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

While working underground to fix a water main, Brooklyn plumbers—and brothers—Mario and Luigi are transported down a mysterious pipe and wander into a magical new world. But when the brothers are separated, Mario embarks on an epic quest to find Luigi.

Knives Out

When renowned crime novelist Harlan Thrombey is found dead at his estate just after his 85th birthday, the inquisitive and debonair Detective Benoit Blanc is mysteriously enlisted to investigate. From Harlan's dysfunctional family to his devoted staff, Blanc sifts through a web of red herrings and self-serving lies to uncover the truth behind Harlan's untimely death.

Good Will Hunting

Headstrong yet aimless, Will Hunting has a genius-level IQ but chooses to work as a janitor at MIT. When he secretly solves highly difficult graduate-level math problems, his talents are discovered by Professor Gerald Lambeau, who decides to help the misguided youth reach his potential. When Will is arrested for attacking a police officer, Professor Lambeau makes a deal to get leniency for him if he gets court-ordered therapy. Eventually, therapist Dr. Sean Maguire helps Will confront the demons that are holding him back.

Joker

During the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure.

The Shawshank Redemption

Imprisoned in the 1940s for the double murder of his wife and her lover, upstanding banker Andy Dufresne begins a new life at the Shawshank prison, where he puts his accounting skills to work for an amoral warden. During his long stretch in prison, Dufresne comes to be admired by the other inmates -- including an older prisoner named Red -- for his integrity and unquenchable sense of hope.

Barbie

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

Jaws

When the seaside community of Amity finds itself under attack by a dangerous great white shark, the town's chief of police, a young marine biologist, and a grizzled hunter embark on a desperate quest to destroy the beast before it strikes again.

Dead Poets Society

At an elite, old-fashioned boarding school in New England, a passionate English teacher inspires his students to rebel against convention and seize the potential of every day, courting the disdain of the stern headmaster.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

The story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency's ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

The Passion of the Christ

A graphic portrayal of the last twelve hours of Jesus of Nazareth's life.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

GoodFellas

The true story of Henry Hill, a half-Irish, half-Sicilian Brooklyn kid who is adopted by neighbourhood gangsters at an early age and climbs the ranks of a Mafia family under the guidance of Jimmy Conway.

Titanic

101-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story of her life aboard the Titanic, 84 years later. A young Rose boards the ship with her mother and fiancé. Meanwhile, Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets aboard the ship. Rose tells the whole story from Titanic's departure through to its death—on its first and last voyage—on April 15, 1912.

Black Swan

The story of Nina, a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her retired ballerina mother Erica who zealously supports her daughter's professional ambition. When artistic director Thomas Leroy decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice.

Don't Breathe

A group of teens break into a blind man's home thinking they'll get away with the perfect crime. They're wrong.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Thirty years after defeating the Galactic Empire, Han Solo and his allies face a new threat from the evil Kylo Ren and his army of Stormtroopers.

Ready Player One

When the creator of a popular video game system dies, a virtual contest is created to compete for his fortune.

Split

Though Kevin has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher, there remains one still submerged who is set to materialize and dominate all the others. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls led by the willful, observant Casey, Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him — as well as everyone around him — as the walls between his compartments shatter apart.

Promising Young Woman

A young woman, traumatized by a tragic event in her past, seeks out vengeance against those who crossed her path.

Hush

A deaf woman is stalked by a psychotic killer in her secluded home.

Dune

Paul Atreides, a brilliant and gifted young man born into a great destiny beyond his understanding, must travel to the most dangerous planet in the universe to ensure the future of his family and his people. As malevolent forces explode into conflict over the planet's exclusive supply of the most precious resource in existence-a commodity capable of unlocking humanity's greatest potential-only those who can conquer their fear will survive.

A Star Is Born

Seasoned musician Jackson Maine discovers — and falls in love with — struggling artist Ally. She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as a singer — until Jack coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Ally's career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Jack fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons.

The Menu

A young couple travels to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.

Love, Simon

Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online.

Where the Crawdads Sing

Abandoned by her family, Kya raises herself all alone in the marshes outside of her small town. When her former boyfriend is found dead, Kya is instantly branded by the local townspeople and law enforcement as the prime suspect for his murder.

Mary Poppins Returns

Mary Poppins returns to the Banks family and helps them evade grave dangers by taking them on magical, musical adventures.

Iron Man

After being held captive in an Afghan cave, billionaire engineer Tony Stark creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fight evil.

Snowpiercer

In a future where a failed global-warming experiment kills off most life on the planet, a class system evolves aboard the Snowpiercer; a train that travels around the globe via a perpetual-motion engine.

Jumanji

When siblings Judy and Peter discover an enchanted board game that opens the door to a magical world, they unwittingly invite Alan -- an adult who's been trapped inside the game for 26 years -- into their living room. Alan's only hope for freedom is to finish the game, which proves risky as all three find themselves running from giant rhinoceroses, evil monkeys and other terrifying creatures.

The Edukators

Three activists cobble together a kidnapping plot after they encounter a businessman in his home.

The Science of Sleep

A man entranced by his dreams and imagination is lovestruck with a French woman and feels he can show her his world.

Mambo Italiano

When an Italian man comes out of the closet, it affects both his life and his crazy family.

Cockles and Muscles

Crustacés et coquillages is a fresh French comedy film with numerous surprise turnarounds and about the tolerance of a family of four. The family spend an idealistic summer vacation together where each of the family members gets involved in a new or old relationship.

The Piano Teacher

Erika Kohut, a sexually repressed piano teacher living with her domineering mother, meets a young man who starts romantically pursuing her.

Angel

Molly Stewart, a teen at the top of her class who survives by working nights as a prostitute on Hollywood Blvd, finds her world beginning to fall apart when a depraved, necrophiliac serial killer begins targeting LA’s streetwalkers.

Nowhere

In Los Angeles, a colorful assortment of bohemians try to make sense of their intersecting lives. The moody Dark Smith, his bisexual girlfriend, her lesbian lover and their shy gay friend plan on attending the wildest party of the year. But they'll only make it if they can survive the drug trips, suicides, trysts, mutilations and alien abductions that occur as one surreal day unfolds.

Russian Dolls

Five years after their summer together in Barcelona, Xavier, William, Wendy, Martine and Isabelle reunite.

Rent

This rock opera tells the story of one year in the life of a group of bohemians struggling in late 1980s East Village, New York, USA. The film centers around Mark and Roger, two roommates. While a tragedy has made Roger numb to new experiences, Mark begins capturing their world through his attempts to make a personal movie. In the year that follows, they and their friends deal with love, loss, and working together.

Silver Streak

A somewhat daffy book editor on a rail trip from Los Angeles to Chicago thinks that he sees a murdered man thrown from the train. When he can find no one who will believe him, he starts doing some investigating of his own. But all that accomplishes is to get the killer after him.

Tideland

Because of the actions of her irresponsible parents, a young girl is left alone on a decrepit country estate and survives inside her fantastic imagination.

Sleeper

Miles Monroe, a clarinet-playing health food store proprietor, is revived out of cryostasis 200 years into a future world in order to help rebels fight an oppressive government regime.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Raised a boy in East Berlin, Hedwig undergoes a personal transformation in order to emigrate to the U.S., where she reinvents herself as an 'internationally ignored' but divinely talented rock diva, inhabiting a 'beautiful gender of one'.

The Wash

With the rent due and his car booted, Sean has to come up with some ends...and fast. When his best buddy and roommate Dee Loc, suggests that Sean get a job busting suds down at the local car wash.

Friday Night Lights

A small, turbulent town in Texas obsesses over their high school football team to an unhealthy degree. When the star tailback, Boobie Miles, is seriously injured during the first game of the season, all hope is lost, and the town's dormant social problems begin to flare up. It is left to the inspiring abilities of new coach Gary Gaines to instill in the other team members -- and, by proxy, the town itself -- a sense of self-respect and honor.

Roger Dodger

A smooth-talking ad executive attributes his remarkable success with women to his ability to manipulate their emotions from the moment he first meets them. When his teenage nephew drops in for a visit, he soon learns that his approach isn't as foolproof as he thought when he attempts to teach the boy how to pick up women.

Stuck

A sex toy mishap leads to a night in the emergency room, where a freshly broken-up couple are forced to confront their issues on love and relationships.

Zabriskie Point

Anthropology student Daria, who's helping a property developer build a village in the Los Angeles desert, and dropout Mark, who's wanted by the authorities for allegedly killing a policeman during a student riot, accidentally encounter each other in Death Valley and soon begin an unrestrained romance.

In Bed

It all begins at a party in Santiago, Chile, when a seemingly innocent gesture -- the offer of a ride home -- ends in a passionate night of lovemaking and intense conversation for young singles Bruno and Daniela. Shacked up at a flea-bitten motel for a one-night stand, the pair lingers deep into the night, alternating between powerful physical encounters and an ever-deepening emotional connection.

Für den unbekannten Hund

Almost casually, the young concrete worker Bastian kills a tramp. The police believe it was an accident and so the murder remains undiscovered for the time being.

Trade

A Texas cop, whose own daughter might have been forced into sexual slavery, joins forces with a Mexican youth to find the boy's sister, who was abducted and forced into prostitution. Meanwhile, a Polish woman who was promised a better life in America also becomes a victim.

Love in the Time of Cholera

In Colombia just after the Great War, an old man falls from a ladder; dying, he professes great love for his wife. After the funeral, a man calls on the widow - she dismisses him angrily. Flash back more than 50 years to the day Florentino Ariza, a telegraph boy, falls in love with Fermina Daza, the daughter of a mule trader.

Love and Other Disasters

Flighty Emily "Jacks" Jackson works for the British edition of Vogue magazine. Rather than pursue a relationship, Jacks regularly hooks up with her devoted ex-boyfriend, James Wildstone, and lives with Peter Simon, a gay screenwriter. When Jacks meets Argentinian photographer's assistant Paolo Sarmiento, she assumes he is gay and tries to bring him and Peter together, unaware that Paolo is straight and in love with her.

Final Analysis

A psychiatrist becomes romantically involved with the sister of one of his patients, but the influence of her controlling gangster husband threatens to destroy them both.

La Collectionneuse

A bombastic, womanizing art dealer and his painter friend go to a seventeenth-century villa on the Riviera for a relaxing summer getaway. But their idyll is disturbed by the presence of the bohemian Haydée, accused of being a “collector” of men.

Zardoz

In the far future, a savage trained only to kill finds a way into the community of bored immortals that alone preserves humanity's achievements.

The Forbidden Decameron

The Decameron forbidden is a 1972 Italian comedy, directed by Carlo Infascelli. The film, which counts among the starring actors such as Orchidea De Santis, Gabriella Giorgelli, nut Crostarosa and Carlo De Carvalho, is inspired by Boccaccio's fourteenth-century novels. In particular, it is the film adaptation of that novel starring frà Pepin, a young native of Florence, which was discovered and arrested for his relationship with Mona Fawaz, a married woman. Thanks to the help of his friends painters, manages to escape..

Secret Confessions in a Cloistered Convent

A young libertine after a series of love affairs, to escape the wrath of the betrayed husband disguises himself as a monk and hides in a convent where one immediately realizes how much his presence is very welcome.

A Bull for Mounts

An impotent husband is inspired by the bull that he inherited from his father and finds the lost virility.

Carol

In 1950s New York, a department-store clerk who dreams of a better life falls for an older, married woman.

The Girl Next Door

There's someone peeping through windows so Arthur has been asked to watch the neighbour's eighteen year old daughter while her parents are away. Soon their mutual attraction develops into something that Arthur later regrets.

The Hairdresser's Husband

The film begins with a flashback from the titular character, Antoine. We are introduced to his fixation with female hairdressers which began at a young age. The film uses flashbacks throughout and there are frequent parallels drawn with the past. We are unsure what Antoine has done with his life, however, we know he has fulfilled his childhood ambition, to marry a hairdresser.

Angel

Edwardian England. A precocious girl from a poor background with aspirations to being a novelist finds herself swept to fame and fortune when her tasteless romances hit the best seller lists. Her life changes in unexpected ways when she encounters an aristocratic brother and sister, both of whom have cultural ambitions, and both of whom fall in love with her.

Good Luck Chuck

Cursed since childhood, dentist Charlie Logan cannot find the right woman. Even worse, he learns that each of his ex-girlfriends finds true love with the man she meets after her relationship with him ends. Hearing of Charlie's reputation as a good-luck charm, women from all over line up for a quick tryst. But when Charlie meets the woman of his dreams, he must find a way to break the curse or risk losing her to the next man she meets.

The Four Feathers

A young British officer resigns his post when he learns of his regiment's plan to ship out to the Sudan for the conflict with the Mahdi. His friends and fiancée send him four white feathers as symbols of what they view as his cowardice. To redeem his honor, he disguises himself as an Arab and secretly saves their lives.

Buffalo Soldiers

A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.

11:14

Tells the seemingly random yet vitally connected story of a set of incidents that all converge one evening at 11:14pm. The story follows the chain of events of five different characters and five different storylines that all converge to tell the story of murder and deceit.

Road Trip

After an Ithaca College student films his one-night stand with a beautiful sorority girl, he discovers one of his friends has accidentally mailed the homemade sex tape to his girlfriend in Austin. In a frenzy, he must borrow a car and hit the road in a desperate bid to intercept the tape.

Y Tu Mamá También

In Mexico, two teenage boys and an attractive older woman embark on a road trip and learn a thing or two about life, friendship, sex, and each other.

The Rapture

A lonely telephone operator leading an empty, amoral life finds God – only to have her faith continually tested in ways beyond what she could have imagined.

sex, lies, and videotape

Ann, a frustrated wife, enters into counseling due to a troubled marriage. Unbeknownst to her, her husband John has begun an affair with her sister. When John’s best friend Graham arrives, his penchant for interviewing women about their sex lives forever changes John and Ann’s rocky marriage.

Clean, Shaven

Peter Winter is a young schizophrenic who is desperately trying to get his daughter back from her adoptive family. He attempts to function in a world that, for him, is filled with strange voices, electrical noise, disconcerting images, and jarringly sudden emotional shifts. During his quest, he runs afoul of the law and an ongoing murder investigation.

Pieces of April

Quirky and rebellious April Burns lives with her boyfriend in a low-rent New York City apartment miles away from her emotionally distant family. But when she discovers that her mother has a fatal form of breast cancer, she invites the clan to her place for Thanksgiving. While her father struggles to drive her family into the city, April -- an inexperienced cook -- runs into kitchen trouble and must ask a neighbor for help.

Singapore Sling

Singapore Sling is chasing after Laura, a romantic memory from his past. One night he finds himself in a mysterious villa, watching two women bury a body. He falls into their trap and, in an atmosphere of isolation and decadence, the trio act out insane pleasure games and a ritual of blood and murder.

Bedtime Stories for Grownups

Peter brings his new girlfriend Anja up to C. von Ficker's (i.e. Fucker's) flat, but their tryst is repeatedly disturbed by various events in the building. To calm the jittery Anja, Peter relates a series of erotic stories to put her back in the mood.

Autostop-Lustreport

The Italian driver Caruso, who usually secretly spoils the daughter of his boss, Oskar Schnell, is sent on the trip with his buddy Klaus. However, the boss doesn't suspect a bit that the two make plenty of erotic stops.

Six Swedish Girls in Alps

This comedy has everyone's favorite 6 Swedish gals enjoying their stay in the alps. When the girls aren't enjoying the pleasure of their own company they're out having a good time with nearly everyone else in town.

The Young Seducers 2

Pretty young girls get involved in humorous sexual situations.

Pura Vida Ibiza

School's over – and for brand-new high-school graduates Ben, Felix and Nick, it's time to party! But when Ben embarrasses himself in public trying to declare his love for the gorgeous Carola, he and his pals make a quick exit by taking jobs as hosts in a vacation club on Ibiza, the Mediterranean hot spot for oversexed boys and underdressed girls! Instead of sun, sea and sex, however, it's work, work and more work, as the three are kept busy around the clock by their sadistic boss Anna. And when Ben bumps into Carola and her super-cool DJ boyfriend, Ibiza starts feeling more like Alcatraz by the minute. Yet even as the mishaps pile up and the boys have to cope with stinging jellyfish, English hooligans and tequila hangovers, they refuse to give up their plan to throw the ultimate Ibiza party for the club, and especially for Carola. Summer is short, but these guys are going to make sure everyone remembers this one for a long time!

Izo

Izo is an assassin in the service of a Tosa lord and Imperial supporter. After killing dozens of the Shogun's men, Izo is captured and crucified. Instead of being extinguished, his rage propels him through the space-time continuum to present-day Tokyo. Here Izo transforms himself into a new, improved killing machine.

My Friend from Faro

Eternal daydreamer Mel can't wait to quit her sucky catering job and fly to her dream destination: Portugal. Things change when the beautiful Jenny literally crashes into her life when Mel nearly runs her over in her classic BMW. It is love at first sight, however there is just one problem: Jenny mistakenly assumes Mel to be a boy. Despite this, the pair become boyfriend and girlfriend. With Mel attempting to disguise her true gender at every turn, her journey from tomboy to out lesbian is fraught with life-defining dilemmas and sweet surprises.

Fritz the Cat

A swinging, hypocritical college student cat raises hell in a satirical vision of the 1960s.

Cherry Falls

When students in the town of Cherry Falls hear that a serial killer is targeting virgins, they realize that the only way to protect themselves is to begin planning a "Pop Your Cherry" party.

Psycho III

When Maureen Coyle, a suicidal nun who resembles Norman's former victim, Marion Crane, arrives at the motel, all bets are off and "Mother" is less than happy.

The Nines

A troubled actor, a television show runner, and an acclaimed videogame designer find their lives intertwining in mysterious and unsettling ways.

El Topo

El Topo decides to confront warrior Masters on a trans-formative desert journey he begins with his 6 year old son, who must bury his childhood totems to become a man.

The Babysitters

Seventeen-year-old Shirley is a good student who works as a babysitter in order to make money for college. One night Michael, a father Shirley works for, confesses he's unhappy with married life. Shirley has a crush on Michael, and seizes this moment to kiss him. Michael is so happy he presents Shirley with a big tip, which gives her an idea. Shirley plans to make extra money by setting up her teenage friends with other unhappy fathers.

Ridicule

To get royal backing on a needed drainage project, a poor French lord must learn to play the delicate games of wit at court at Versailles.

Teenage Caveman

In a post-apocalyptic future mankind is lives in a prehistoric manner. After killing his father for sexually assaulting his girlfriend, the son of a tribal leader runs away with a group of his teenage friends. They are taken in by Neil and Judith who introduce them to the vices outlawed by their tribes namely sex and drugs.Neil and Judith, however, are genetically altered indestructible mutants who have their own plans for the future of the human race.

Last Exit to Brooklyn

A gallery of characters in Brooklyn in the 1950s are crushed by their surroundings and selves: a union strike leader discovers he is gay; a prostitute falls in love with one of her clients; a family cannot cope with the fact that their daughter is illegitimately pregnant.