The Onion Movie (2008)

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

Filmmaker Adam Scorgie explores the illegal marijuana industry in British Columbia, revealing how the international business is most likely more profitable than it would be if it was lawful in this enlightening documentary. Marijuana growers, law enforcement officials, physicians, politicians, criminologists, economists and celebrities—including comedian Tommy Chong—shed light on this topical subject in a series of compelling interviews.

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Sir Charles Baskerville dies on the moor under mysterious circumstances and rumors abound about a demonic hound. When the American heir arrives to take charge, a family friend calls in Holmes and Watson to get to the heart of the mystery.

King's Game

Starting a new job as a political journalist at a leading newspaper, Ulrik Torp witnesses a brutal struggle for power in the Midparty's ranks -- a struggle that coincides with the charismatic party leader's involvement in a near fatal car accident. A flurry of lies and media speculation surrounds the incident. Gradually, Ulrik unearths a ruthless conspiracy involving the incumbent prime minister.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove

A group of friends unleash a demonic Pirate from a treasure chest.

The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!

Leroy, Reggie and Cheruce Paloni host a Halloween special full of spooky shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.

The Guardian Brothers

There's a crisis in the Chinese Spirit World -- humans don't believe in gods anymore! A Door God, facing unemployment, ventures into the human world to prove his worth, leading to unexpected encounters and transformations for humans and spirits alike.

The Train

As the Allied forces approach Paris in August 1944, German Colonel Von Waldheim is desperate to take all of France's greatest paintings to Germany. He manages to secure a train to transport the valuable art works even as the chaos of retreat descends upon them. The French resistance however wants to stop them from stealing their national treasures but have received orders from London that they are not to be destroyed. The station master, Labiche, is tasked with scheduling the train and making it all happen smoothly but he is also part of a dwindling group of resistance fighters tasked with preventing the theft. He and others stage an elaborate ruse to keep the train from ever leaving French territory.

Observe and Report

Mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show. But when Barnhardt can't bring the culprit to justice, a surly police detective is recruited to close the case.

Wolf Warrior 2

China's deadliest special forces operative settles into a quiet life on the sea. When sadistic mercenaries begin targeting nearby civilians, he must leave his newfound peace behind and return to his duties as a soldier and protector.

The Patriot

A deadly virus threatens to wipe out an entire Rocky Mountain town, leaving the town doctor to find some way to escape the soldiers who enforce the town's quarantine and devise an antidote. Matters take a more deadly turn after the physician is captured by a dangerously unstable band of militia extremists.

The Inbetweeners Movie

High school graduation just wouldn’t be complete without an un-chaperoned, uninhibited and unforgettable final holiday. At least that’s what Will, Jay, Simon and Neil think when they book a two-week stay on an exotic Greek island. As their dreams of sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights are left hopelessly unfulfilled, the lads fight their way into the party scene with hilariously humiliating results.

Appaloosa

Two friends hired to police a small town that is suffering under the rule of a rancher find their job complicated by the arrival of a young widow.

Don't Hang Up

An evening of drunken prank calls becomes a nightmare for a pair of teenagers when a mysterious stranger turns their own game against them.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

Toby, a cynical film director finds himself trapped in the outrageous delusions of an old Spanish shoe-maker who believes himself to be Don Quixote. In the course of their comic and increasingly surreal adventures, Toby is forced to confront the tragic repercussions of a film he made in his idealistic youth.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Manhattan drag queens Vida Boheme and Noxeema Jackson impress regional judges in competition, securing berths in the Nationals in Los Angeles. When the two meet pathetic drag novice Chi-Chi Rodriguez — one of the losers that evening — the charmed Vida and Noxeema agree to take the hopeless youngster under their joined wing. Soon the three set off on a madcap road trip across America and struggle to make it to Los Angeles in time.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

In 1971, Stanford's Professor Philip Zimbardo conducts a controversial psychology experiment in which college students pretend to be either prisoners or guards, but the proceedings soon get out of hand. Based on a true story.

Top Secret!

Popular and dashing American singer Nick Rivers travels to East Germany to perform in a music festival. When he loses his heart to the gorgeous Hillary Flammond, he finds himself caught up in an underground resistance movement. Rivers joins forces with Agent Cedric and Flammond to attempt the rescue of her father, Dr. Paul, from the Germans, who have captured the scientist in hopes of coercing him into building a new naval mine.

Blue Streak

Miles Logan is a jewel thief who just hit the big time by stealing a huge diamond. However, after two years in jail, he comes to find out that he hid the diamond in a police building that was being built at the time of the robbery. In an attempt to regain his diamond, he poses as an LAPD detective.

Jackass: The Movie

Johnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time. They wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilized golf course, they even do stunts involving LIVE alligators, and so on.

Suburbicon

In the quiet family town of Suburbicon during the 1950s, the best and worst of humanity is hilariously reflected through the deeds of seemingly ordinary people. When a home invasion turns deadly, a picture-perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and murder.

Imagine Me & You

During her wedding ceremony, Rachel notices Luce in the audience and feels instantly drawn to her. The two women become close friends, and when Rachel learns that Luce is a lesbian, she realizes that despite her happy marriage to Heck, she is falling for Luce. As she questions her sexual orientation, Rachel must decide between her stable relationship with Heck and her exhilarating new romance with Luce.

The Apprentice

A young Donald Trump, eager to make his name as a hungry scion of a wealthy family in 1970s New York, comes under the spell of Roy Cohn, the cutthroat attorney who would help create the Donald Trump we know today. Cohn sees in Trump the perfect protégé—someone with raw ambition, a hunger for success, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to win.

Black Box

Mathieu is a young and talented black box analyst on a mission to solve the reason behind the deadly crash of a brand new aircraft. Yet, when the case is closed by authorities, Mathieu cannot help but sense there is something wrong with the evidence. As he listens to the tracks again, he starts detecting some seriously disturbing details. Could the tape have been modified? Going against his boss' orders, Mathieu begins his own rogue investigation - an obsessional and dangerous quest for truth that will quickly threaten far more than his career...

Dancer in the Dark

A Czech immigrant in 1960s America escapes into musicals while working long hours in poverty. Struggling with hereditary blindness, she is determined to secure her son’s future and will sacrifice everything to ensure he receives the operation that could spare him from her fate.

A Haunted House

Malcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, but soon learn a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm - determined to keep his sex life on track - turns to a priest, a psychic, and a team of ghost-busters for help in this spoof of all the "found-footage/documentary style" films released in recent years.

Escape from Alcatraz

San Francisco Bay, January 18, 1960. Frank Lee Morris is transferred to Alcatraz, a maximum security prison located on a rocky island. Although no one has ever managed to escape from there, Frank and other inmates begin to carefully prepare an escape plan.

Haunted Mansion

A woman and her son enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.

Escape from New York

In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam free. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself, finds herself.

The Machinist

Trevor, an insomniac lathe operator, experiences unusual occurrences at work and home. A strange man follows him everywhere, but no one else seems to notice him.

The Mule

Earl Stone, a man in his eighties, is broke, alone, and facing foreclosure of his business when he is offered a job that simply requires him to drive. Easy enough, but, unbeknownst to Earl, he's just signed on as a drug courier for a Mexican cartel. He does so well that his cargo increases exponentially, and Earl hit the radar of hard-charging DEA agent Colin Bates.

Sausage Party

Hot dog Frank leads a group of supermarket products on a quest to discover the truth about their existence and what really happens when they become chosen to leave the grocery store.

Drive

Driver is a skilled Hollywood stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver for criminals. Though he projects an icy exterior, lately he's been warming up to a pretty neighbor named Irene and her young son, Benicio. When Irene's husband gets out of jail, he enlists Driver's help in a million-dollar heist. The job goes horribly wrong, and Driver must risk his life to protect Irene and Benicio from the vengeful masterminds behind the robbery.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

Mad Max: Fury Road

An apocalyptic story set in the furthest reaches of our planet, in a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken, and most everyone is crazed fighting for the necessities of life. Within this world exist two rebels on the run who just might be able to restore order.

Parasite

All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.

Fight Club

A ticking-time-bomb insomniac and a slippery soap salesman channel primal male aggression into a shocking new form of therapy. Their concept catches on, with underground "fight clubs" forming in every town, until an eccentric gets in the way and ignites an out-of-control spiral toward oblivion.

Inception

Cobb, a skilled thief who commits corporate espionage by infiltrating the subconscious of his targets is offered a chance to regain his old life as payment for a task considered to be impossible: "inception", the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.

Pushing Hands

Mr. Chu is an elderly widower who teaches tai chi chuan in Beijing. He moves to America to live with his son's family, but finds the cultural adjustment difficult. Since his daughter-in-law is a white woman who does not speak Chinese, Mr. Chu's son, Alex, must mediate.

Dear Diary

Nanni Moretti recalls in his diary three slice of life stories characterized by a sharply ironic look: in the first one he wanders through a deserted Rome, in the second he visits a reclusive friend on an island, and in the last he has to grapple with an unknown illness.

The Pirate Movie

Left behind by her friends on a boat trip, contemporary teen Mabel takes pursuit but is knocked unconscious on an island, where she has a dream involving pirates, sisters, a modern major-general, romance, and adventure.

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

To improve its relations with Muslim countries, the United States government sends comedian Albert Brooks to south Asia to write a report on what makes followers of Islam laugh.

Contacts... Conflicts...

A satirical film for adults about communication problems.

Contacts... Conflicts... 2

Comic stories for adults about the problems of family life.

Contacts... Conflicts... 3

Comic stories for adults about the problems of family life.

Contacts... Conflicts... 4

Comic stories for adults about the problems of family life.

Dogma

An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and reenter Heaven.

Nashville

The intersecting stories of twenty-four characters—from country star to wannabe to reporter to waitress—connect to the music business in Nashville, Tennessee.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

Pleasantville

Geeky teenager David and his popular twin sister, Jennifer, get sucked into the black-and-white world of a 1950s TV sitcom called "Pleasantville," and find a world where everything is peachy keen all the time. But when Jennifer's modern attitude disrupts Pleasantville's peaceful but boring routine, she literally brings color into its life.

Office Space

A depressed white-collar worker tries hypnotherapy, only to find himself in a perpetual state of devil-may-care bliss that prompts him to start living by his own rules, and hatch a hapless attempt to embezzle money from his soul-killing employers.

Scary Movie

A familiar-looking group of teenagers find themselves being stalked by a more-than-vaguely recognizable masked killer! As the victims begin to pile up and the laughs pile on, none of your favorite scary movies escape the razor-sharp satire of this outrageously funny parody!

The Uninvited Guest

A run-of-the-mill family is terrorized by strangers dressed in military garb who invade their private realm.

Striptease

Bounced from her job, Erin Grant needs money if she's to have any chance of winning back custody of her child. But, eventually, she must confront the naked truth: to take on the system, she'll have to take it all off. Erin strips to conquer, but she faces unintended circumstances when a hound dog of a Congressman zeroes in on her and sharpens the shady tools at his fingertips, including blackmail and murder.

Ñeñeñe

Mario has prepared something for Cristina, but she doesn't seem very interested in knowing what it is.

Adam's Apples

A neo-nazi sentenced to community service at a church clashes with the blindly devotional priest.

Happiness

The lives of several individuals intertwine as they go about their lives in their own unique ways, engaging in acts which society as a whole might find disturbing in a desperate search for human connection.

The Hotel New Hampshire

Over the course of several years beginning in the 1950s, a man and his oddball family run hotels in New England and Vienna, as unexpected events change their lives forever.

Finishing the Game: The Search for a New Bruce Lee

In 1973, martial arts great Bruce Lee died, his final film, Game of Death, left unfinished. With the public hungry for more Lee, movie execs decide to find a replacement. This outrageous satire looks at the entire process, from the oddball candidates to the greed and racial motivations that drive the final decision. There's big business in the movies, and Finishing the Game skewers it with an eye for '70s detail.

Cecil B. Demented

A young lunatic director and his devoted cult of cinema terrorists kidnap a Hollywood movie goddess and force her to star in their radical underground movie.

A Dirty Shame

Sylvia Stickles runs a convenience store with her husband and mother-in-law. One day, Sylvia is hit on the head and transforms from an uptight prude to a sex-crazed lunatic. As she goes on a rampage through town, Sylvia attracts the attention of Ray Ray, a sexual healer and tow truck driver in search of the world's greatest orgasm. Their sexual revolution, however, causes a class war in their tiny Baltimore community.

Repo Man

A down and out young punk gets a job working with a seasoned repo man, but what awaits him in his new career is a series of outlandish adventures revolving around aliens, the CIA, and a most wanted '64 Chevy.

The History of White People in America

In this parody of documentaries, host Martin Mull discusses the contributions that white people have made to the USA, visits the Institute of White Studies, and follows a typical white family as they go about their everyday lives.

Drop Dead Gorgeous

In a small Minnesota town, the annual beauty pageant is being covered by a TV crew. Former winner Gladys Leeman wants to make sure her daughter follows in her footsteps; explosions, falling lights, and trailer fires prove that. As the Leemans are the richest family in town, the police are pretty relaxed about it all. Despite everything, main rival (but sweet) Amber Atkins won't give up without a fight.

Intolerable Cruelty

A revenge-seeking gold digger marries a womanizing Beverly Hills lawyer with the intention of making a killing in the divorce.

Sleeper

Miles Monroe, a clarinet-playing health food store proprietor, is revived out of cryostasis 200 years into a future world in order to help rebels fight an oppressive government regime.

Serial Mom

Beverly is the perfect happy homemaker, along with her doting husband and two children, but this nuclear family just might explode when her fascination with serial killers collides with her ever-so-proper code of ethics.

The Kentucky Fried Movie

A series of loosely connected skits that spoof news programs, commercials, porno films, kung-fu films, disaster films, blaxploitation films, spy films, mafia films, and the fear that somebody is watching you on the other side of the TV.

Not Another Teen Movie

On a bet, a gridiron hero at John Hughes High School sets out to turn a bespectacled plain Jane into a beautiful and popular prom queen in this outrageous send-up of the teen movies of the 1980s and '90s.

Help!

An obscure Eastern cult that practices human sacrifice pursues Ringo after he unknowingly puts on a ceremonial ring (that, of course, won't come off). On top of that, a pair of mad scientists, members of Scotland Yard, and a beautiful but dead-eyed assassin all have their own plans for the Fab Four.

The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

Fritz, now married and with a son, is desperate to escape from the domestic hell he now finds himself in. Lighting up a joint, he begins to dream about his eight other lives, hoping to find one that will provide a pleasant distraction.

Bill Hicks: Sane Man

Sane Man was filmed before Bill recorded ‘Dangerous’, his first comedy album, and is a turning point in Hicks’ career. It was the first complete Hicks show ever filmed and Bill pulled out all the stops for the cameras. Completely focused, a newly-sober Hicks paces the stage like a wild animal riffing effortless.

Better Of Dead

When his father dies, an awkward young man is shocked by the attention of his friends. When the warmth is gone and things return to their usual coldness, he begins to wonder: “Who else must die?”

How to Get Ahead in Advertising

Pressure from his boss and a skin-cream client produces a talking boil on a British adman's neck.

The Last Supper

A group of idealistic, but frustrated, liberals succumb to the temptation of murdering rightwing pundits for their political beliefs.

All the Rage

ALL THE RAGE takes a satirical and poignant look at one gay man's obsessive pursuit of physical, sexual, and romantic perfection. Christopher Bedford is everyone's fantasy. He's gorgeous, young, clever, rich, and above all, totally buffed and every boy in Boston seems to want him. At thirty-one, he's gliding through life, celebrating himself as the 90's gay playboy ideal, without ever realizing what a mess he's become.

The Wog Boy

Steve liked Celia from the moment they met. But following a clash with her boss, Raelene Beagle-Thorpe, Minister for Employment, he finds himself on national television branded as Australia's biggest dole bludger. Now Steve has to prove to Celia, to himself, and to the whole country, that there's more to him than meets the eye. With a little help from his friends, he might just do it.

Cream

The time has come for CREAM - the latest product that will fix your life. This is the story of Dr. Bellifer, a scientific genius, who after years of smashing particles together, reveals his revolutionary new product: a cream with the power to fix all of the world’s problems.

CB4

A "rockumentary", covering the rise to fame of MC Gusto, Stab Master Arson, and Dead Mike: members of the rap group "CB4". We soon learn that these three are not what they seem and don't appear to know as much about rap music as they claim... but a lack of musical ability in an artist never hurts sales, does it? You've just got to play the part of a rap star...

Brüno

Flamboyantly gay Austrian television reporter Bruno stirs up trouble with unsuspecting guests and large crowds through brutally frank interviews and painfully hilarious public displays of homosexuality.

Emergency Act 19

All around the world, musicians and rock stars are being elected to their respective countries' highest offices. Paul McCartney is running for Prime Minister of England; Madonna's being tapped as the VP in the United States. The current prime minister and head of the army in Korea are disturbed by this trend, and concoct Emergency Order 19 to deal with the problem: ban all music. The film is famous for the many pop music celebrity cameos it features.

The Nine Lives of Tomas Katz

The last day of creation. A stranger arrives in London. No one knows who he is or where he has come from. By the time he leaves, the entire universe will have been erased.

Story of Taipei

Limitless lies, betrayals and temptations revealed by an accidental car crash. A huge storm is about to happen in Taipei and we're all inside it!

Teambuilding

A frothy comedy about life in the corporation, about the challenges of building a career and those of consolidating and motivating a team. The film, a satire of corporate life, reveals the events of a team building in which the robotic corporativism unleash themselves and unleash themselves by showing their human side.

Last Night

Various citizens of Toronto anxiously await the end of the world, which is occurring at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day.

The Big Bang

In 1995, Italy annihilates Libya, which destroys Israel. Africa bombs Germany, which in turn attacks France. Luxembourg conquers England. Sweden, Monte Carlo and Switzerland immolate themselves.The Russians decide to liquidate the Americans, who unleash their nuclear fleet, leaving only two continents on the verge of World War IV.

Dropout

Italian immigrant kidnaps a wealthy British woman, and they fall in love.

Dream Scenario

Hapless family man Paul Matthews finds his life turned upside down when millions of strangers suddenly start seeing him in their dreams. But when his nighttime appearances take a nightmarish turn, Paul is forced to navigate his newfound stardom.

Scare Package

Chad Buckley is a horror aficionado, and he's lonely. Chad spends his days at his struggling genre video store arguing with his only regular customer, Sam. When an unsuspecting applicant shows up, Chad begins to teach him about the rules of horror and his video store at large, much to the chagrin of Sam. During Chad's on-boarding process, we weave in and out of different hilarious horror shorts, each one geared at a different set of horror tropes. As this new applicant learns the ropes, he begins to suspect Chad of something sinister, but we quickly learn that he may have a secret of his own.

Ninotchka

A stern Russian woman sent to Paris on official business finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest.

King Lavra

A king hides an embarrassing secret - and it causes him to execute every barber who cuts his hair.

Life Stinks

A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with a homeless woman.

D'Unbelievables D'Telly

Irish Comedy Starring Jon Kenny & Pat Shortt

Tropic Thunder

A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.

Something Out of Nothing

A famous metropolitan journalist decides to pay a surprise visit to his classmate Pancho in the countryside. Pancho has gone to town and his wife has to greet the guest. Under the curious eyes of the neighbors, the two are waiting for him to come back home. The awkwardness between them intensifies. How will they sleep under one roof? What will people say?

Jonathan Pie: Live at the Shepherds Bush Empire

Jonathan Pie is the frustrated news reporter that satirises the world of politics and the media. Known for venting his spleen in unguarded “off-camera” rants, Pie’s online videos have been viewed by millions worldwide.