The Onion Movie (2008)

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

Filmmaker Adam Scorgie explores the illegal marijuana industry in British Columbia, revealing how the international business is most likely more profitable than it would be if it was lawful in this enlightening documentary. Marijuana growers, law enforcement officials, physicians, politicians, criminologists, economists and celebrities—including comedian Tommy Chong—shed light on this topical subject in a series of compelling interviews.

The Guardian Brothers

There's a crisis in the Chinese Spirit World -- humans don't believe in gods anymore! A Door God, facing unemployment, ventures into the human world to prove his worth, leading to unexpected encounters and transformations for humans and spirits alike.

King's Game

Starting a new job as a political journalist at a leading newspaper, Ulrik Torp witnesses a brutal struggle for power in the Midparty's ranks -- a struggle that coincides with the charismatic party leader's involvement in a near fatal car accident. A flurry of lies and media speculation surrounds the incident. Gradually, Ulrik unearths a ruthless conspiracy involving the incumbent prime minister.

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Sir Charles Baskerville dies on the moor under mysterious circumstances and rumors abound about a demonic hound. When the American heir arrives to take charge, a family friend calls in Holmes and Watson to get to the heart of the mystery.

The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!

Leroy, Reggie and Cheruce Paloni host a Halloween special full of spooky shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.

The Train

As the Allied forces approach Paris in August 1944, German Colonel Von Waldheim is desperate to take all of France's greatest paintings to Germany. He manages to secure a train to transport the valuable art works even as the chaos of retreat descends upon them. The French resistance however wants to stop them from stealing their national treasures but have received orders from London that they are not to be destroyed. The station master, Labiche, is tasked with scheduling the train and making it all happen smoothly but he is also part of a dwindling group of resistance fighters tasked with preventing the theft. He and others stage an elaborate ruse to keep the train from ever leaving French territory.

Observe and Report

Mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show. But when Barnhardt can't bring the culprit to justice, a surly police detective is recruited to close the case.

The Apprentice

A young Donald Trump, eager to make his name as a hungry scion of a wealthy family in 1970s New York, comes under the spell of Roy Cohn, the cutthroat attorney who would help create the Donald Trump we know today. Cohn sees in Trump the perfect protégé—someone with raw ambition, a hunger for success, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to win.

Wolf Warrior 2

China's deadliest special forces operative settles into a quiet life on the sea. When sadistic mercenaries begin targeting nearby civilians, he must leave his newfound peace behind and return to his duties as a soldier and protector.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Manhattan drag queens Vida Boheme and Noxeema Jackson impress regional judges in competition, securing berths in the Nationals in Los Angeles. When the two meet pathetic drag novice Chi-Chi Rodriguez — one of the losers that evening — the charmed Vida and Noxeema agree to take the hopeless youngster under their joined wing. Soon the three set off on a madcap road trip across America and struggle to make it to Los Angeles in time.

The Inbetweeners Movie

High school graduation just wouldn’t be complete without an un-chaperoned, uninhibited and unforgettable final holiday. At least that’s what Will, Jay, Simon and Neil think when they book a two-week stay on an exotic Greek island. As their dreams of sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights are left hopelessly unfulfilled, the lads fight their way into the party scene with hilariously humiliating results.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

This film is based on the actual events that took place in 1971 when Stanford professor Dr. Philip Zimbardo created what became one of the most shocking and famous social experiments of all time.

Top Secret!

Popular and dashing American singer Nick Rivers travels to East Germany to perform in a music festival. When he loses his heart to the gorgeous Hillary Flammond, he finds himself caught up in an underground resistance movement. Rivers joins forces with Agent Cedric and Flammond to attempt the rescue of her father, Dr. Paul, from the Germans, who have captured the scientist in hopes of coercing him into building a new naval mine.

Blue Streak

Miles Logan is a jewel thief who just hit the big time by stealing a huge diamond. However, after two years in jail, he comes to find out that he hid the diamond in a police building that was being built at the time of the robbery. In an attempt to regain his diamond, he poses as an LAPD detective.

Jackass: The Movie

Johnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time. They wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilized golf course, they even do stunts involving LIVE alligators, and so on.

The Upside

Phillip is a wealthy quadriplegic who needs a caretaker to help him with his day-to-day routine in his New York penthouse. He decides to hire Dell, a struggling parolee who's trying to reconnect with his ex and his young son. Despite coming from two different worlds, an unlikely friendship starts to blossom.

Suburbicon

In the quiet family town of Suburbicon during the 1950s, the best and worst of humanity is hilariously reflected through the deeds of seemingly ordinary people. When a home invasion turns deadly, a picture-perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and murder.

Imagine Me & You

During her wedding ceremony, Rachel notices Luce in the audience and feels instantly drawn to her. The two women become close friends, and when Rachel learns that Luce is a lesbian, she realizes that despite her happy marriage to Heck, she is falling for Luce. As she questions her sexual orientation, Rachel must decide between her stable relationship with Heck and her exhilarating new romance with Luce.

Dancer in the Dark

Selma, a Czech immigrant on the verge of blindness, struggles to make ends meet for herself and her son, who has inherited the same genetic disorder and will suffer the same fate without an expensive operation. When life gets too difficult, Selma learns to cope through her love of musicals, escaping life's troubles - even if just for a moment - by dreaming up little numbers to the rhythmic beats of her surroundings.

Tron

When brilliant video game maker Flynn hacks the mainframe of his ex-employer, he is beamed inside an astonishing digital world...and becomes part of the very game he is designing. In his mission through cyberspace, Flynn matches wits with a maniacal Master Control Program and teams up with Tron, a security measure created to bring balance to the digital environment.

Black Box

Mathieu is a young and talented black box analyst on a mission to solve the reason behind the deadly crash of a brand new aircraft. Yet, when the case is closed by authorities, Mathieu cannot help but sense there is something wrong with the evidence. As he listens to the tracks again, he starts detecting some seriously disturbing details. Could the tape have been modified? Going against his boss' orders, Mathieu begins his own rogue investigation - an obsessional and dangerous quest for truth that will quickly threaten far more than his career...

A Haunted House

Malcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, but soon learn a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm - determined to keep his sex life on track - turns to a priest, a psychic, and a team of ghost-busters for help in this spoof of all the "found-footage/documentary style" films released in recent years.

Escape from New York

In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.

Haunted Mansion

A woman and her son enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself, finds herself.

The Mule

Earl Stone, a man in his eighties, is broke, alone, and facing foreclosure of his business when he is offered a job that simply requires him to drive. Easy enough, but, unbeknownst to Earl, he's just signed on as a drug courier for a Mexican cartel. He does so well that his cargo increases exponentially, and Earl hit the radar of hard-charging DEA agent Colin Bates.

Sausage Party

Hot dog Frank leads a group of supermarket products on a quest to discover the truth about their existence and what really happens when they become chosen to leave the grocery store.

Drive

Driver is a skilled Hollywood stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver for criminals. Though he projects an icy exterior, lately he's been warming up to a pretty neighbor named Irene and her young son, Benicio. When Irene's husband gets out of jail, he enlists Driver's help in a million-dollar heist. The job goes horribly wrong, and Driver must risk his life to protect Irene and Benicio from the vengeful masterminds behind the robbery.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

Inception

Cobb, a skilled thief who commits corporate espionage by infiltrating the subconscious of his targets is offered a chance to regain his old life as payment for a task considered to be impossible: "inception", the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.

Joker

During the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure.

Oppenheimer

The story of J. Robert Oppenheimer's role in the development of the atomic bomb during World War II.

Fight Club

A ticking-time-bomb insomniac and a slippery soap salesman channel primal male aggression into a shocking new form of therapy. Their concept catches on, with underground "fight clubs" forming in every town, until an eccentric gets in the way and ignites an out-of-control spiral toward oblivion.

Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult

Frank Drebin is persuaded out of retirement to go undercover in a state prison. There he has to find out what top terrorist, Rocco, has planned for when he escapes. Adding to his problems, Frank's wife, Jane, is desperate for a baby.

Prometheus

A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

The Others

Grace is a religious woman who lives in an old house kept dark because her two children, Anne and Nicholas, have a rare sensitivity to light. When the family begins to suspect the house is haunted, Grace fights to protect her children at any cost in the face of strange events and disturbing visions.

Grease

Australian good girl Sandy and greaser Danny fell in love over the summer. But when they unexpectedly discover they're now in the same high school, will they be able to rekindle their romance despite their eccentric friends?

Avengers: Age of Ultron

When Tony Stark tries to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program, things go awry and Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are put to the ultimate test as the fate of the planet hangs in the balance. As the villainous Ultron emerges, it is up to The Avengers to stop him from enacting his terrible plans, and soon uneasy alliances and unexpected action pave the way for an epic and unique global adventure.

Pleasantville

Geeky teenager David and his popular twin sister, Jennifer, get sucked into the black-and-white world of a 1950s TV sitcom called "Pleasantville," and find a world where everything is peachy keen all the time. But when Jennifer's modern attitude disrupts Pleasantville's peaceful but boring routine, she literally brings color into its life.

4 O'Clock

Special agent Mott McCampbell has a mission, escorting a Japanese dignitary from JFK airport to the United Nations. A gang of stewardesses has a different plan, kidnapping! Will Mott be able to stop them in time? Find out, see 4 O’CLOCK, the underground, film-noir comedy.

The American Way

A comedy short which pokes merry anarchistic fun at such quintessential American institutions as mom, baseball, and apple pie. It features an early appearance from actor John Cazale.

The Hotel New Hampshire

Over the course of several years beginning in the 1950s, a man and his oddball family run hotels in New England and Vienna, as unexpected events change their lives forever.

Election

Tracy Flick is running unopposed for this year’s high school student election. But Jim McAllister has a different plan. Partly to establish a more democratic election, and partly to satisfy some deep personal anger toward Tracy, Jim talks football player Paul Metzler to run for president as well.

Down to Their Last Yacht

Left only with their yacht after going broke in the Great Depression, a high-society family sets sail for the South Seas. Screwball comedy, with songs.

The Man with the Balloons

Mario is a Milan industrialist who is constantly testing balloons to see how much air one can take before busting.

History of the World: Part I

An uproarious version of history that proves nothing is sacred – not even the Roman Empire, the French Revolution and the Spanish Inquisition.

Down with Love

In 1962 New York City, love blossoms between a playboy journalist and a feminist advice author.

Abbuzze! Der Badesalz-Film

Plot unavailable

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

Believe it or not even in Smalltown USA there are still people who are unfulfilled and unrelieved in the midst of plenty. Levonna & Lamar could have the perfect relationship if it were not Lamar's obsession with rear entry. After submitting to the one last time Levonna comes up with a plan. While Lamar is trying find other tail to try his technique on, Levonna becomes Lola with aid of a wig and a Mexican accent. A Mexican cocktail later Lola finally has Lamar straight, but he wasn't awake for it. The gay marriage counselor, attracted to Lamar's problem, couldn't help them and Lemar must finally seek redemption at the church of Rio Dio Radio and the laying on of hands by Sister Eufaula Roo.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

It's the 1970s and San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy is the top dog in local TV, but that's all about to change when ambitious reporter Veronica Corningstone arrives as a new employee at his station.

Send Me No Flowers

At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man's diagnosis for his own and believes he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn't tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he's not dying at all (while he doesn't) and she believes it's just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him.

Pillow Talk

Playboy songwriter Brad Allen's succession of romances annoys his neighbor, interior designer Jan Morrow, who shares a telephone party line with him and hears all his breezy routines. After Jan unsuccessfully lodges a complaint against him, Brad sets about to seduce her in the guise of a sincere and upstanding Texas rancher. When mutual friend Jonathan discovers that his best friend is moving in on the girl he desires, however, sparks fly.

The Ballad of Kyle T. MaGatt

Aided by powers from a little red hat / A deplorable fellow named Kyle MaGatt / Goes hunting for Covid to save the economy / To become the hero Americans should see. / But will he succeed in this arduous task? / Or will he be forced to wear a mask?

A Luxury Crime

Pontius Branco was a climber of the economy, climbed by money like Mount Everest. aggressive businessman. His wife Bernarda felt betrayed. He replaced her for the orgies between the purchase intervals, sells and deceives. Here comes the train from 15:30 to Lisbon a coming emigrant from France with a five year old daughter in her arms and attacks Pontius in his stronghold, demanding recognition of the daughter of sin, Libertina that he had made her "bidonville» on the city of light. Bernarda hires a private detective to obtain evidence of Pontius's adultery with a curvaceous blonde, whose dream was to own butchers, fishmongers and vegetable places in a shopping center. Pontius who all deceived and this triangle (not Bermuda), weaves the web and bore's the head of the entrepreneur. A perfect luxury crime puts the police overtime. Time passes and only after the Seventh Day Mass is brought to light when the sky was given the eclipse of the moon ...

Runaway Bride

Having already left three grooms at the altar, Maggie Carpenter is branded "the runaway bride" by jaded New York journalist Ike Graham. But, after his facts are called into question, Ike races to Maggie's hometown to save his reputation and report on her upcoming fourth trip down the aisle – during which he's convinced she'll run again. Though he's there on a muckraking mission, Ike can't help but fall for this breathtaking heartbreaker.

Charade

After Regina Lampert falls for the dashing Peter Joshua on a skiing holiday in the French Alps, she discovers upon her return to Paris that her husband has been murdered. Soon, she and Peter are giving chase to three of her late husband's World War II cronies, Tex, Scobie and Gideon, who are after a quarter of a million dollars the quartet stole while behind enemy lines.

Tropic Thunder

A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.

It Happened One Night

A runaway heiress makes a deal with the rogue reporter trailing her but the mismatched pair end up stuck with each other when their bus leaves them behind.

His Girl Friday

Walter Burns is an irresistibly conniving newspaper publisher desperate to woo back his paper’s star reporter, who also happens to be his estranged wife. She’s threatening to quit and settle down with a new beau, but, as Walter knows, she has a weakness: she can’t resist a juicy scoop.

The Lady Eve

It's no accident when wealthy Charles falls for Jean. Jean is a con artist with her sights set on Charles' fortune. Matters complicate when Jean starts falling for her mark. When Charles suspects Jean is a gold digger, he dumps her. Jean, fixated on revenge and still pining for the millionaire, devises a plan to get back in Charles' life. With love and payback on her mind, she re-introduces herself to Charles, this time as an aristocrat named Lady Eve Sidwich.

Nashville

The intersecting stories of twenty-four characters—from country star to wannabe to reporter to waitress—connect to the music business in Nashville, Tennessee.

Scary Movie

A familiar-looking group of teenagers find themselves being stalked by a more-than-vaguely recognizable masked killer! As the victims begin to pile up and the laughs pile on, none of your favorite scary movies escape the razor-sharp satire of this outrageously funny parody!

Eat the Rich

Alex is a disgruntled waiter at a snobby exclusive restaurant who falls on hard times. Forced to deal with the contempt and disgust of the upper class, Alex & cohorts attempt to go on a rampage. Meanwhile, General Karprov and Spider plot to involve the inept anarchists into their plans to derail the prime-minister-to-be's campaign.

Charlie's Angels

The captivating crime-fighting trio who are masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts are back! When a devious mastermind embroils them in a plot to destroy individual privacy, the Angels, aided by their loyal sidekick Bosley, set out to bring down the bad guys. But when a terrible secret is revealed, it makes the Angels targets for assassination.

Ladies' Man

A boy from the country inherits $10 million, and decides to go to New York City to live it up.

Tim Vine Travels Through Time Christmas Special

To recover a silver lion ornament for singer Emma Bunton Tim travels back to the court of Henry Vlll where Anne Boleyn (Emma again) asks jester Tim to send invitations to the guests for her Christmas party. However Cardinal Wolsey aims to steal them so that they will come to his own party and Tim must thwart him.

Too Many Wives

An heiress and a dog-catcher go searching for a priceless stamp.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

The Thin Man

A husband and wife detective team takes on the search for a missing inventor and almost get killed for their efforts.

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Life's questions are 'answered' in a series of outrageous vignettes, beginning with a staid London insurance company which transforms before our eyes into a pirate ship. Then there's the National Health doctors who try to claim a healthy liver from a still-living donor. The world's most voracious glutton brings the art of vomiting to new heights before his spectacular demise.

Heat

Former child star Joe Davis, reduced to living in a cheap Hollywood motel while struggling for acting jobs, is lusted after by nearly every woman he meets, including Jessica Todd, a tightly wound feminist who has recently come out as a lesbian. When Jessica's mother, Sally, an emotionally needy has-been actress, meets Joe, she moves him into her enormous, tacky mansion as her new boy toy and attempts to get him acting work.

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

In Luis Buñuel’s deliciously satiric masterpiece, an upper-class sextet sits down to dinner but never eats, their attempts continually thwarted by a vaudevillian mixture of events both actual and imagined.

Cetto c'è, senzadubbiamente

Cetto la Qualunque, having set aside all political ambition, is now nothing more than an entrepreneur. But the news of the worsening condition of his aunt leads him to return to Italy, where something from his past will be revealed and, “doubtlessly,” all of our lives will be forever changed.

Ñeñeñe

Mario has prepared something for Cristina, but she doesn't seem very interested in knowing what it is.

Waterboys

In a Japanese school, 5 adolescent geeks join the new sport teacher and take up the challenge to take part in the synchronised swimming competition, in-spite of the mockeries of the real sportsmen.

Passport to Pimlico

When an unexploded WWII bomb is accidentally detonated in Pimlico, it reveals a treasure trove and documents proving that the region is in fact part of Burgundy, France and thus foreign territory. The British government attempts to regain control by setting up border controls and cutting off services to the area.