The Onion Movie (2008)

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

Filmmaker Adam Scorgie explores the illegal marijuana industry in British Columbia, revealing how the international business is most likely more profitable than it would be if it was lawful in this enlightening documentary. Marijuana growers, law enforcement officials, physicians, politicians, criminologists, economists and celebrities—including comedian Tommy Chong—shed light on this topical subject in a series of compelling interviews.

King's Game

Starting a new job as a political journalist at a leading newspaper, Ulrik Torp witnesses a brutal struggle for power in the Midparty's ranks -- a struggle that coincides with the charismatic party leader's involvement in a near fatal car accident. A flurry of lies and media speculation surrounds the incident. Gradually, Ulrik unearths a ruthless conspiracy involving the incumbent prime minister.

The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!

Leroy, Reggie and Cheruce Paloni host a Halloween special full of spooky shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove

A group of friends unleash a demonic Pirate from a treasure chest.

Tomb of the Werewolf

A reality TV crew visits Castle Daninsky to search for a hidden treasure in the dungeons. Instead of finding treasure, they unearth a tomb and unleash a cursed servant.

The Train

As the Allied forces approach Paris in August 1944, German Colonel Von Waldheim is desperate to take all of France's greatest paintings to Germany. He manages to secure a train to transport the valuable art works even as the chaos of retreat descends upon them. The French resistance however wants to stop them from stealing their national treasures but have received orders from London that they are not to be destroyed. The station master, Labiche, is tasked with scheduling the train and making it all happen smoothly but he is also part of a dwindling group of resistance fighters tasked with preventing the theft. He and others stage an elaborate ruse to keep the train from ever leaving French territory.

Wolf Warrior 2

China's deadliest special forces operative settles into a quiet life on the sea. When sadistic mercenaries begin targeting nearby civilians, he must leave his newfound peace behind and return to his duties as a soldier and protector.

The Patriot

A deadly virus threatens to wipe out an entire Rocky Mountain town, leaving the town doctor to find some way to escape the soldiers who enforce the town's quarantine and devise an antidote. Matters take a more deadly turn after the physician is captured by a dangerously unstable band of militia extremists.

Appaloosa

Two friends hired to police a small town that is suffering under the rule of a rancher find their job complicated by the arrival of a young widow.

The Inbetweeners Movie

High school graduation just wouldn’t be complete without an un-chaperoned, uninhibited and unforgettable final holiday. At least that’s what Will, Jay, Simon and Neil think when they book a two-week stay on an exotic Greek island. As their dreams of sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights are left hopelessly unfulfilled, the lads fight their way into the party scene with hilariously humiliating results.

Don't Hang Up

An evening of drunken prank calls becomes a nightmare for a pair of teenagers when a mysterious stranger turns their own game against them.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Manhattan drag queens Vida Boheme and Noxeema Jackson impress regional judges in competition, securing berths in the Nationals in Los Angeles. When the two meet pathetic drag novice Chi-Chi Rodriguez — one of the losers that evening — the charmed Vida and Noxeema agree to take the hopeless youngster under their joined wing. Soon the three set off on a madcap road trip across America and struggle to make it to Los Angeles in time.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

In 1971, Stanford's Professor Philip Zimbardo conducts a controversial psychology experiment in which college students pretend to be either prisoners or guards, but the proceedings soon get out of hand. Based on a true story.

Top Secret!

Popular and dashing American singer Nick Rivers travels to East Germany to perform in a music festival. When he loses his heart to the gorgeous Hillary Flammond, he finds himself caught up in an underground resistance movement. Rivers joins forces with Agent Cedric and Flammond to attempt the rescue of her father, Dr. Paul, from the Germans, who have captured the scientist in hopes of coercing him into building a new naval mine.

Star Trek: Nemesis

En route to the honeymoon of William Riker to Deanna Troi on her home planet of Betazed, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise receives word from Starfleet that a coup has resulted in the installation of a new Romulan political leader, Shinzon, who claims to seek peace with the human-backed United Federation of Planets. Once in enemy territory, the captain and his crew make a startling discovery: Shinzon is human, a slave from the Romulan sister planet of Remus, and has a secret, shocking relationship to Picard himself.

Jackass: The Movie

Johnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time. They wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilized golf course, they even do stunts involving LIVE alligators, and so on.

Suburbicon

In the quiet family town of Suburbicon during the 1950s, the best and worst of humanity is hilariously reflected through the deeds of seemingly ordinary people. When a home invasion turns deadly, a picture-perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and murder.

Imagine Me & You

During her wedding ceremony, Rachel notices Luce in the audience and feels instantly drawn to her. The two women become close friends, and when Rachel learns that Luce is a lesbian, she realizes that despite her happy marriage to Heck, she is falling for Luce. As she questions her sexual orientation, Rachel must decide between her stable relationship with Heck and her exhilarating new romance with Luce.

Tron

When brilliant video game maker Flynn hacks the mainframe of his ex-employer, he is beamed inside an astonishing digital world...And becomes part of the very game he is designing. In his mission through cyberspace, Flynn matches wits with a maniacal Master Control Program and teams up with Tron, a security measure created to bring balance to the digital environment.

The Land Before Time

An orphaned brontosaurus named Littlefoot sets off in search of the legendary Great Valley. A land of lush vegetation where the dinosaurs can thrive and live in peace. Along the way he meets four other young dinosaurs, each one a different species, and they encounter several obstacles as they learn to work together in order to survive.

Black Box

Mathieu is a young and talented black box analyst on a mission to solve the reason behind the deadly crash of a brand new aircraft. Yet, when the case is closed by authorities, Mathieu cannot help but sense there is something wrong with the evidence. As he listens to the tracks again, he starts detecting some seriously disturbing details. Could the tape have been modified? Going against his boss' orders, Mathieu begins his own rogue investigation - an obsessional and dangerous quest for truth that will quickly threaten far more than his career...

The Apprentice

A young Donald Trump, eager to make his name as a hungry scion of a wealthy family in 1970s New York, comes under the spell of Roy Cohn, the cutthroat attorney who would help create the Donald Trump we know today. Cohn sees in Trump the perfect protégé—someone with raw ambition, a hunger for success, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to win.

Escape from New York

In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam free. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself, finds herself.

The Machinist

Trevor, an insomniac lathe operator, experiences unusual occurrences at work and home. A strange man follows him everywhere, but no one else seems to notice him.

The Mule

Earl Stone, a man in his eighties, is broke, alone, and facing foreclosure of his business when he is offered a job that simply requires him to drive. Easy enough, but, unbeknownst to Earl, he's just signed on as a drug courier for a Mexican cartel. He does so well that his cargo increases exponentially, and Earl hit the radar of hard-charging DEA agent Colin Bates.

Superbad

Two co-dependent high school seniors are forced to deal with separation anxiety after their plan to stage a booze-soaked party goes awry.

Casino Royale

Le Chiffre, a banker to the world's terrorists, is scheduled to participate in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro, where he intends to use his winnings to establish his financial grip on the terrorist market. M sends Bond—on his maiden mission as a 00 Agent—to attend this game and prevent Le Chiffre from winning. With the help of Vesper Lynd and Felix Leiter, Bond enters the most important poker game in his already dangerous career.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Humanity finds a mysterious object buried beneath the lunar surface and sets off to find its origins with the help of HAL 9000, the world's most advanced super computer.

Dead Poets Society

At an elite, old-fashioned boarding school in New England, a passionate English teacher inspires his students to rebel against convention and seize the potential of every day, courting the disdain of the stern headmaster.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Young hobbit Frodo Baggins, after inheriting a mysterious ring from his uncle Bilbo, must leave his home in order to keep it from falling into the hands of its evil creator. Along the way, a fellowship is formed to protect the ringbearer and make sure that the ring arrives at its final destination: Mt. Doom, the only place where it can be destroyed.

Pulp Fiction

A burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner, a drug-addled gangster's moll and a washed-up boxer converge in this sprawling, comedic crime caper. Their adventures unfurl in three stories that ingeniously trip back and forth in time.

The Substance

A fading celebrity decides to use a black market drug, a cell-replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better version of herself.

Parasite

All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.

GoodFellas

The true story of Henry Hill, a half-Irish, half-Sicilian Brooklyn kid who is adopted by neighbourhood gangsters at an early age and climbs the ranks of a Mafia family under the guidance of Jimmy Conway.

La La Land

Mia, an aspiring actress, serves lattes to movie stars in between auditions and Sebastian, a jazz musician, scrapes by playing cocktail party gigs in dingy bars, but as success mounts they are faced with decisions that begin to fray the fragile fabric of their love affair, and the dreams they worked so hard to maintain in each other threaten to rip them apart.

Ninotchka

A stern Russian woman sent to Paris on official business finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest.

Mike Bassett: England Manager

After England's football (soccer) manager has a heart attack, Mike Bassett is hired as the new manager and promptly announces the team will win the World Cup.

Zorro, The Gay Blade

In 19th century Mexico, legendary swordsman Zorro has passed on his weapon and his sense of duty to his noble son, Diego, a dashing swashbuckler like his father. But after an injury sidelines Diego, he is forced to hand the mask over to his twin, Ramon.

Josie and the Pussycats

Josie, Melody and Val are three small-town girl musicians determined to take their rock band out of their garage and straight to the top, while remaining true to their look, style and sound. They get a record deal which brings fame and fortune but soon realize they are pawns of two people who want to control the youth of America. They must clear their names, even if it means losing fame and fortune.

South Park: Joining the Panderverse

Cartman's deeply disturbing dreams portend the end of the life he knows and loves. Meanwhile, the adults in South Park are wrestling with their own life decisions, as the advent of AI is turning their world upside down.

Aagey Se Right

Aage Se Right is the story of chance, co-incidence and real life humor based in the present day Mumbai. The film spans over five days of panic, chaos and mayhem!!!

Plan 10 from Outer Space

A woman accidentally discovers the Plaque of Kolob which leads her to discover an insidous alien plot for world domination documented by a disreputable early Mormon prophet. 'Plan 10 from Outer Space' is an eccentric comedy involving a bizarre relationship between Mormons, bees and extra terrestrials, hot on an obviously miniscule budget with a largely unknown cast, save for b-movie queen Karen Black.

Marrakech Express

After learning that an old friend of theirs has been arrested in Morocco on drug charges, four former college buddies set out for Marrakech to bail him out.

The New Age

Peter and Katherine Witner are Southern California super-yuppies with great jobs but no center to their lives. When they both lose their jobs and begin marital infidelities, their solution is to start their own business together. In order to find meaning to their empty lives, they follow various New Age gurus and other such groups. Eventually, they hit rock bottom and have to make some hard decisions.

The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

Fritz, now married and with a son, is desperate to escape from the domestic hell he now finds himself in. Lighting up a joint, he begins to dream about his eight other lives, hoping to find one that will provide a pleasant distraction.

Bill Hicks: Sane Man

Sane Man was filmed before Bill recorded ‘Dangerous’, his first comedy album, and is a turning point in Hicks’ career. It was the first complete Hicks show ever filmed and Bill pulled out all the stops for the cameras. Completely focused, a newly-sober Hicks paces the stage like a wild animal riffing effortless.

How to Get Ahead in Advertising

Pressure from his boss and a skin-cream client produces a talking boil on a British adman's neck.

Help!

An obscure Eastern cult that practices human sacrifice pursues Ringo after he unknowingly puts on a ceremonial ring (that, of course, won't come off). On top of that, a pair of mad scientists, members of Scotland Yard, and a beautiful but dead-eyed assassin all have their own plans for the Fab Four.

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild!

Four university students head to Florida for spring break and enroll in a contest to see who can get the most sexual partners.

All the Rage

ALL THE RAGE takes a satirical and poignant look at one gay man's obsessive pursuit of physical, sexual, and romantic perfection. Christopher Bedford is everyone's fantasy. He's gorgeous, young, clever, rich, and above all, totally buffed and every boy in Boston seems to want him. At thirty-one, he's gliding through life, celebrating himself as the 90's gay playboy ideal, without ever realizing what a mess he's become.

Sleeper

Miles Monroe, a clarinet-playing health food store proprietor, is revived out of cryostasis 200 years into a future world in order to help rebels fight an oppressive government regime.

Serial Mom

Beverly is the perfect happy homemaker, along with her doting husband and two children, but this nuclear family just might explode when her fascination with serial killers collides with her ever-so-proper code of ethics.

The Kentucky Fried Movie

A series of loosely connected skits that spoof news programs, commercials, porno films, kung-fu films, disaster films, blaxploitation films, spy films, mafia films, and the fear that somebody is watching you on the other side of the TV.

1941

In the days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, panic grips California, where a military officer leads a mob chasing a Japanese sub.

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Monty Python perform many of their greatest sketches at the Hollywood Bowl, including several from pre-Python days.

Polyester

Blessed with a keen sense of smell and cursed with a philandering pornographer husband, a parasitic mother, and a pair of delinquent children, the long-suffering Francine Fishpaw turns to the bottle as her life falls apart -- until deliverance appears in the form of a hunk named Todd Tomorrow.

The Great Dictator

Dictator Adenoid Hynkel tries to expand his empire while a poor Jewish barber tries to avoid persecution from Hynkel's regime.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

After the insane General Jack D. Ripper initiates a nuclear strike on the Soviet Union, a war room full of politicians, generals and a Russian diplomat all frantically try to stop the nuclear strike.

Spaceballs

When the nefarious Dark Helmet hatches a plan to snatch Princess Vespa and steal her planet's air, space-bum-for-hire Lone Starr and his clueless sidekick fly to the rescue. Along the way, they meet Yogurt, who puts Lone Starr wise to the power of "The Schwartz." Can he master it in time to save the day?

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Life's questions are 'answered' in a series of outrageous vignettes, beginning with a staid London insurance company which transforms before our eyes into a pirate ship. Then there's the National Health doctors who try to claim a healthy liver from a still-living donor. The world's most voracious glutton brings the art of vomiting to new heights before his spectacular demise.

Heat

Former child star Joe Davis, reduced to living in a cheap Hollywood motel while struggling for acting jobs, is lusted after by nearly every woman he meets, including Jessica Todd, a tightly wound feminist who has recently come out as a lesbian. When Jessica's mother, Sally, an emotionally needy has-been actress, meets Joe, she moves him into her enormous, tacky mansion as her new boy toy and attempts to get him acting work.

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

In Luis Buñuel’s deliciously satiric masterpiece, an upper-class sextet sits down to dinner but never eats, their attempts continually thwarted by a vaudevillian mixture of events both actual and imagined.

110% Honest

Former pro cyclist Kim Karlsen (39) holds a press conference admitting use of performance enhancing drugs in her career. Rather than accepting the consequences of her actions, our antiheroine sticks to her guns and refuses to alter her mindset.

Office Space

A depressed white-collar worker tries hypnotherapy, only to find himself in a perpetual state of devil-may-care bliss that prompts him to start living by his own rules, and hatch a hapless attempt to embezzle money from his soul-killing employers.

Nashville

The intersecting stories of twenty-four characters—from country star to wannabe to reporter to waitress—connect to the music business in Nashville, Tennessee.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

The History of White People in America: Volume II

In this daring follow-up to The History of White People in America, comedian Martin Mull takes us on an in-depth look at such topics as White Religion, White Stress, White Politics, and White Crime.

El Conde

After living for over two centuries, Augusto Pinochet is a vampire ready to die… but the vultures around him won't let him go without one last bite.

Vampire Zombies...from Space!

From the depths of space, Dracula has devised his most dastardly plan yet; turning the residents of the small town of Marlow into his personal army of vampire zombies! A motley crew consisting of a grizzled detective, a rookie cop, a chain-smoking greaser, and a determined young woman band together to save the world from — (see title).

Dogma

An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and reenter Heaven.

Pleasantville

Geeky teenager David and his popular twin sister, Jennifer, get sucked into the black-and-white world of a 1950s TV sitcom called "Pleasantville," and find a world where everything is peachy keen all the time. But when Jennifer's modern attitude disrupts Pleasantville's peaceful but boring routine, she literally brings color into its life.

Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber

Katya Livingston, a self-centered, obnoxious and conceited 28-year-old ad sales exec, won't let anything or anyone stand in her way in getting to the top of the San Francisco social ladder. When tax inspectors question her claims Katya is forced to keep a financial diary and finds time to add details about her friends, enemies and lovers all from her unique point of view.

The Hotel New Hampshire

Over the course of several years beginning in the 1950s, a man and his oddball family run hotels in New England and Vienna, as unexpected events change their lives forever.

Brüno

Flamboyantly gay Austrian television reporter Bruno stirs up trouble with unsuspecting guests and large crowds through brutally frank interviews and painfully hilarious public displays of homosexuality.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It

When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.

Defending Your Life

Is there love after death? After he dies suddenly, the hapless advertising executive Daniel Miller finds himself in Judgment City, a gleaming way station where the newly deceased must prove they lived a life of sufficient courage to advance in their journey through the universe. As the self-doubting Daniel struggles to make his case, a budding relationship with the uninhibited Julia offers him a chance to finally feel alive.

Emergency Act 19

All around the world, musicians and rock stars are being elected to their respective countries' highest offices. Paul McCartney is running for Prime Minister of England; Madonna's being tapped as the VP in the United States. The current prime minister and head of the army in Korea are disturbed by this trend, and concoct Emergency Order 19 to deal with the problem: ban all music. The film is famous for the many pop music celebrity cameos it features.

Saved!

Mary is a good Christian girl who goes to a good Christian high school where she has good Christian friends and a perfect Christian boyfriend. Her life seems perfect, until the day that she finds out that her boyfriend may be gay — and that she’s pregnant.

The History of White People in America

In this parody of documentaries, host Martin Mull discusses the contributions that white people have made to the USA, visits the Institute of White Studies, and follows a typical white family as they go about their everyday lives.

Girls Will Be Girls

Nothing stirs up the competitive spirit in haggard Hollywood has-been Evie Harris like having to share a house with a younger actress like Varla. Especially since Varla happens to be the daughter of Evie's now-deceased rival! But even as their saner roommate, Coco, attempts to keep the peace, Evie's jealousy over Varla's burgeoning infomercial career is about to explode... in the most spectacular, showstopping way possible!

East Side Story

Diego is a gay but closeted Hispanic chef living in East Los Angeles who works in the restaurant operated by his grandmother. Frustrated by the secretive lifestyle he shares with his similarly closeted lover, Pablo, Diego finds himself attracted to Wesley, one of the openly gay Caucasian men he feels are gentrifying his neighborhood. Their relationship pushes Diego to consider the possibility of a life he had never imagined.

The Hebrew Hammer

When a psychotic Santa tries to destroy Chanukah by hypnotizing Jewish children with bootlegged copies of the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life," it's up to the Hebrew Hammer to save the day. Together with Mohammed, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, the Hammer takes no prisoners in his quest to hunt down the renegade Santa and make the holiday season safe for all.

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical

From an ominous Lecturer, a small 1930s middle American community learns of the Harper Affair, in which young Jimmy Harper finds his life of promise turn into a life of debauchery and murder thanks to the new drug menace marijuana. Along the way, he receives help from his girlfriend Mary and Jesus Himself, but always finds himself in the arms of the Reefer Man and the rest of the denizens of the Reefer Den.

Golmaal – Fun Unlimited

Four runaway cons take shelter in a bungalow owned by an old blind couple.

Afonya

The 1975 film by Georgi Daneliya "Afonya" was an unexpected commercial hit in USSR. The main character "Afonya" Borshev is a plumber, who spends his life partying with "buddies", many of whom he doesn't even remember after nights of heavy drinking. His wife leaves him, his boss places him on probation, his whole life is falling apart, but he doesn't realize it. Afonya met Katya at a dance club, yet didn't pay her much attention. But she is the one, who can save him... In this movie Daneliya achieves a perfect balance of satire and drama. Quotes from the movie gained a cult status in USSR.

Kidnapping, Caucasian Style

Shurik, a kind but naïve ethnography student, falls in love with the intelligent, athletic and beautiful All-Union Leninist Young Communist League member Nina. He has a rival in the wealthy comrade Saakhov, who concocts a kidnapping scheme to force Nina to marry him.

Things Are Tough All Over

Everybody has problems these days, and Cheech and Chong are no exceptions. They're hired by Slyman and Habib to drive a limousine to Las Vegas with $5 million secretly stashed in the front seat. In order to get there, the pair sells off the car piece by piece, including the seven-figure front seat. Cheech and Chong then have a much bigger problem - Slyman and Habib are after them, swearing to kill them after the appropriate torture.

The Honeymooners

Working class New York bus driver Ralph Kramden is always coming up with get-rich-quick schemes for him and his best friend, Ed Norton, who's always around to help him get in (and out of) trouble.

Oh! What a Lovely War

The working-class Smiths change their initially sunny views on World War I after the three boys of the family witness the harsh reality of trench warfare.

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

General Candy, who's overseeing an English squad in 1943, is a veteran leader who doesn't have the respect of the men he's training and is considered out-of-touch with what's needed to win the war. But it wasn't always this way. Flashing back to his early career in the Boer War and World War I, we see a dashing young officer whose life has been shaped by three different women, and by a lasting friendship with a German soldier.