The Onion Movie (2008)

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Sir Charles Baskerville dies on the moor under mysterious circumstances and rumors abound about a demonic hound. When the American heir arrives to take charge, a family friend calls in Holmes and Watson to get to the heart of the mystery.

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

Filmmaker Adam Scorgie explores the illegal marijuana industry in British Columbia, revealing how the international business is most likely more profitable than it would be if it was lawful in this enlightening documentary. Marijuana growers, law enforcement officials, physicians, politicians, criminologists, economists and celebrities—including comedian Tommy Chong—shed light on this topical subject in a series of compelling interviews.

King's Game

Starting a new job as a political journalist at a leading newspaper, Ulrik Torp witnesses a brutal struggle for power in the Midparty's ranks -- a struggle that coincides with the charismatic party leader's involvement in a near fatal car accident. A flurry of lies and media speculation surrounds the incident. Gradually, Ulrik unearths a ruthless conspiracy involving the incumbent prime minister.

The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!

Leroy, Reggie and Cheruce Paloni host a Halloween special full of spooky shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.

Tomb of the Werewolf

A reality TV crew visits Castle Daninsky to search for a hidden treasure in the dungeons. Instead of finding treasure, they unearth a tomb and unleash a cursed servant.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove

A group of friends unleash a demonic Pirate from a treasure chest.

The Train

As the Allied forces approach Paris in August 1944, German Colonel Von Waldheim is desperate to take all of France's greatest paintings to Germany. He manages to secure a train to transport the valuable art works even as the chaos of retreat descends upon them. The French resistance however wants to stop them from stealing their national treasures but have received orders from London that they are not to be destroyed. The station master, Labiche, is tasked with scheduling the train and making it all happen smoothly but he is also part of a dwindling group of resistance fighters tasked with preventing the theft. He and others stage an elaborate ruse to keep the train from ever leaving French territory.

Wolf Warrior 2

China's deadliest special forces operative settles into a quiet life on the sea. When sadistic mercenaries begin targeting nearby civilians, he must leave his newfound peace behind and return to his duties as a soldier and protector.

The Inbetweeners Movie

High school graduation just wouldn’t be complete without an un-chaperoned, uninhibited and unforgettable final holiday. At least that’s what Will, Jay, Simon and Neil think when they book a two-week stay on an exotic Greek island. As their dreams of sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights are left hopelessly unfulfilled, the lads fight their way into the party scene with hilariously humiliating results.

Don't Hang Up

An evening of drunken prank calls becomes a nightmare for a pair of teenagers when a mysterious stranger turns their own game against them.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Manhattan drag queens Vida Boheme and Noxeema Jackson impress regional judges in competition, securing berths in the Nationals in Los Angeles. When the two meet pathetic drag novice Chi-Chi Rodriguez — one of the losers that evening — the charmed Vida and Noxeema agree to take the hopeless youngster under their joined wing. Soon the three set off on a madcap road trip across America and struggle to make it to Los Angeles in time.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

Toby, a cynical film director finds himself trapped in the outrageous delusions of an old Spanish shoe-maker who believes himself to be Don Quixote. In the course of their comic and increasingly surreal adventures, Toby is forced to confront the tragic repercussions of a film he made in his idealistic youth.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

In 1971, Stanford's Professor Philip Zimbardo conducts a controversial psychology experiment in which college students pretend to be either prisoners or guards, but the proceedings soon get out of hand. Based on a true story.

Top Secret!

Popular and dashing American singer Nick Rivers travels to East Germany to perform in a music festival. When he loses his heart to the gorgeous Hillary Flammond, he finds himself caught up in an underground resistance movement. Rivers joins forces with Agent Cedric and Flammond to attempt the rescue of her father, Dr. Paul, from the Germans, who have captured the scientist in hopes of coercing him into building a new naval mine.

The Upside

Phillip is a wealthy quadriplegic who needs a caretaker to help him with his day-to-day routine in his New York penthouse. He decides to hire Dell, a struggling parolee who's trying to reconnect with his ex and his young son. Despite coming from two different worlds, an unlikely friendship starts to blossom.

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch

Now, we find the rowdy extraterrestrial getting used to life with his new ʻohana. However, a malfunction in the ultimate creation of Dr. Jumba soon emerges, which reinstates his destructive programming and threatens to both ruin his friendship with Lilo and to short him out for good!

Suburbicon

In the quiet family town of Suburbicon during the 1950s, the best and worst of humanity is hilariously reflected through the deeds of seemingly ordinary people. When a home invasion turns deadly, a picture-perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and murder.

Dancer in the Dark

Selma, a Czech immigrant on the verge of blindness, struggles to make ends meet for herself and her son, who has inherited the same genetic disorder and will suffer the same fate without an expensive operation. When life gets too difficult, Selma learns to cope through her love of musicals, escaping life's troubles – even if just for a moment – by dreaming up little numbers to the rhythmic beats of her surroundings.

Wild Wild West

Legless Southern inventor Dr. Arliss Loveless plans to rekindle the Civil War by assassinating President Ulysses S. Grant. Only two men can stop him: gunfighter James West and master-of-disguise and inventor Artemus Gordon. The two must team up to thwart Loveless' plans.

The Apprentice

A young Donald Trump, eager to make his name as a hungry scion of a wealthy family in 1970s New York, comes under the spell of Roy Cohn, the cutthroat attorney who would help create the Donald Trump we know today. Cohn sees in Trump the perfect protégé—someone with raw ambition, a hunger for success, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to win.

Escape from Alcatraz

San Francisco Bay, January 18, 1960. Frank Lee Morris is transferred to Alcatraz, a maximum security prison located on a rocky island. Although no one has ever managed to escape from there, Frank and other inmates begin to carefully prepare an escape plan.

Escape from New York

In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam free. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.

The Sting

A novice con man teams up with an acknowledged master to avenge the murder of a mutual friend by pulling off the ultimate big con and swindling a fortune from a big-time mobster.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Hellboy, his pyrokinetic girlfriend, Liz, and aquatic empath, Abe Sapien, face their biggest battle when an underworld elven prince plans to reclaim Earth for his magical kindred. Tired of living in the shadow of humans, Prince Nuada tries to awaken an ancient force of killing machines, the all-powerful Golden Army, to clear the way for fantasy creatures to roam free. Only Hellboy can stop the dark prince and prevent humanity's annihilation.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman.

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself, finds herself.

The Mule

Earl Stone, a man in his eighties, is broke, alone, and facing foreclosure of his business when he is offered a job that simply requires him to drive. Easy enough, but, unbeknownst to Earl, he's just signed on as a drug courier for a Mexican cartel. He does so well that his cargo increases exponentially, and Earl hit the radar of hard-charging DEA agent Colin Bates.

Sausage Party

Hot dog Frank leads a group of supermarket products on a quest to discover the truth about their existence and what really happens when they become chosen to leave the grocery store.

Casino Royale

Le Chiffre, a banker to the world's terrorists, is scheduled to participate in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro, where he intends to use his winnings to establish his financial grip on the terrorist market. M sends Bond—on his maiden mission as a 00 Agent—to attend this game and prevent Le Chiffre from winning. With the help of Vesper Lynd and Felix Leiter, Bond enters the most important poker game in his already dangerous career.

Drive

Driver is a skilled Hollywood stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver for criminals. Though he projects an icy exterior, lately he's been warming up to a pretty neighbor named Irene and her young son, Benicio. When Irene's husband gets out of jail, he enlists Driver's help in a million-dollar heist. The job goes horribly wrong, and Driver must risk his life to protect Irene and Benicio from the vengeful masterminds behind the robbery.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

Forrest Gump

A man with a low IQ has accomplished great things in his life and been present during significant historic events—in each case, far exceeding what anyone imagined he could do. But despite all he has achieved, his one true love eludes him.

'G' Men

James “Brick” Davis, a struggling attorney, owes his education to a mobster, but always has refused to get involved with the underworld. When a friend of his is gunned down by a notorious criminal, Brick decides to abandon the exercise of the law and join the Department of Justice to capture the murderer.

Torn Curtain

During the Cold War, an American scientist appears to defect to East Germany as part of a cloak and dagger mission to find the formula for a resin solution, but the plan goes awry when his fiancee, unaware of his motivation, follows him across the border.

Joker

During the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure.

Asterix the Gaul

In the year 50 BC, Gaul is occupied by the Romans - nearly. But the small village of Asterix and his friends still resists the Roman legions with the aid of their druid's magic potion, which gives superhuman strength. Learning of this potion, a Roman centurion kidnaps the druid to get the secret formula out of him.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Dev and Maya are both married to different people. Settled into a life of domestic ritual, and convinced that they are happy in their respective relationships, they still yearn for something deeper and more meaningful, which is precisely what they find in each other.

It's Dead, Let's Touch It!

An alien crash-lands on Earth. While he is anxious to make friends with Earth people, the low-life assortment of degenerates he runs into abuse and take advantage of him.

Thanks for Everything

Promoters set up a radio contest to find the average American and use him to sell food, apparel and notions. All goes well until he falls in love with a girl who upsets things.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

The next great psycho horror slasher has given a documentary crew exclusive access to his life as he plans his reign of terror over the sleepy town of Glen Echo, all the while deconstructing the conventions and archetypes of the horror genre for them.

Silent Movie

Aspiring filmmakers Mel Funn, Marty Eggs and Dom Bell go to a financially troubled studio with an idea for a silent movie. In an effort to make the movie more marketable, they attempt to recruit a number of big name stars to appear, while the studio's creditors attempt to thwart them.

Martyrs of Striving

When Death wants to bring the plague to Württemberg in 1349, he has not reckoned with the two guard soldiers Volckel and Utz, who engage him in a heated argument about plague ordinances and entry regulations.

Happiness

The lives of several individuals intertwine as they go about their lives in their own unique ways, engaging in acts which society as a whole might find disturbing in a desperate search for human connection.

Down with Love

In 1962 New York City, love blossoms between a playboy journalist and a feminist advice author.

L'Esprit de famille

A writer must face the sudden death of his father, but after the burial, the latter reappears to him. He will have to learn to live with this facetious companion, but difficult to explain the situation to his family, because he is the only one who can see him. This disturbing presence will create an earthquake in the family.

The Big Bang

In 1995, Italy annihilates Libya, which destroys Israel. Africa bombs Germany, which in turn attacks France. Luxembourg conquers England. Sweden, Monte Carlo and Switzerland immolate themselves.The Russians decide to liquidate the Americans, who unleash their nuclear fleet, leaving only two continents on the verge of World War IV.

Holiday

Johnny Case, a freethinking financier, has finally found the girl of his dreams — Julia Seton, the spoiled daughter of a socially prominent millionaire — and she's agreed to marry him. But when Johnny plans a holiday for the two to enjoy life while they are still young, his fiancée has other plans & that is for Johnny to work in her father's bank!

Sullivan's Travels

Successful movie director John L. Sullivan, convinced he won't be able to film his ambitious masterpiece until he has suffered, dons a hobo disguise and sets off on a journey, aiming to "know trouble" first-hand. When all he finds is a train ride back to Hollywood and a beautiful blonde companion, he redoubles his efforts, managing to land himself in more trouble than he bargained for when he loses his memory and ends up a prisoner on a chain gang.

The History of White People in America

In this parody of documentaries, host Martin Mull discusses the contributions that white people have made to the USA, visits the Institute of White Studies, and follows a typical white family as they go about their everyday lives.

Blithe Spirit

An English mystery novelist invites a medium to his home, so she may conduct a séance for a small gathering. The writer hopes to gather enough material for the book he's working on, as well as to expose the medium as a charlatan. However, proceedings take an unexpected turn, resulting in a chain of supernatural events being set into motion that wreak havoc on the man's present marriage.

Water

The British governor of a tiny island nation in the Caribbean Commonwealth finds his idyllic existence thrown into chaos when an American drilling company finds a huge source of natural mineral water there.

Chet Larson

A mockumentary following the rise, fall and continued tribulations of former internet personality Chet Larson and those associated with him.

Some of My Folks

A mockumentary that follows the antics of three friends as they enjoy life and stick by one another no matter what.

The Dutch Cleanse

A methodical young man hired to clean up the messes murderers leave behind has his work cut out for him when he is contracted by a particularly strange serial killer.

My Man Godfrey

Fifth Avenue socialite Irene Bullock needs a "forgotten man" to win a scavenger hunt, and no one is more forgotten than Godfrey Park, who resides in a dump by the East River. Irene hires Godfrey as a servant for her riotously unhinged family, to the chagrin of her spoiled sister, Cornelia, who tries her best to get Godfrey fired. As Irene falls for her new butler, Godfrey turns the tables and teaches the frivolous Bullocks a lesson or two.

D'Unbelievables D'Telly

Irish Comedy Starring Jon Kenny & Pat Shortt

Intolerable Cruelty

A revenge-seeking gold digger marries a womanizing Beverly Hills lawyer with the intention of making a killing in the divorce.

Harvey

The story of Elwood P. Dowd who makes friends with a spirit taking the form of a human-sized rabbit named Harvey that only he sees (and a few privileged others on occasion also.) After his sister tries to commit him to a mental institution, a comedy of errors ensues. Elwood and Harvey become the catalysts for a family mending its wounds and for romance blossoming in unexpected places.

Abbuzze! Der Badesalz-Film

Plot unavailable

Undercover Brother

An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.

Friend of the World

After a catastrophic global war, a young filmmaker awakens in the carnage and seeks refuge in the only other survivor: an eccentric, ideologically opposed figure of the United States military. Together, they brave the toxic landscape in search of safety... and answers.

The Last Supper

A group of idealistic, but frustrated, liberals succumb to the temptation of murdering rightwing pundits for their political beliefs.

High Anxiety

A psychiatrist with intense acrophobia (fear of heights) goes to work for a mental institution run by doctors who appear to be crazier than their patients, and have secrets that they are willing to commit murder to keep.

The Four Musketeers

The Four Musketeers defend the queen and her dressmaker from Cardinal Richelieu and Milady de Winter.

Magic Farm

A film crew working for an edgy media company travels to Argentina to profile a local musician, but their ineptitude leads them into the wrong country. As the crew collaborates with locals to fabricate a trend, unexpected connections blossom while a pervasive health crisis looms unacknowledged in the background.

What's Up, Doc?

The accidental mix-up of four identical plaid overnight bags leads to a series of increasingly wild and wacky situations.

The Hudsucker Proxy

A naive business graduate is installed as president of a manufacturing company as part of a stock scam.

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Monty Python perform many of their greatest sketches at the Hollywood Bowl, including several from pre-Python days.

UHF

The eccentric new manager of a UHF television channel tries to save the station from financial ruin with an odd array of programming.

Hamlet 2

Failed actor-turned-worse-high-school-drama-teacher Dana Marschz rallies his Tucson students as he conceives and stages politically incorrect musical sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet.

The Mouse That Roared

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. They send an invasion force (in chain mail, armed with bows and arrows) to New York and they arrive during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets.

Hold That Ghost

Two bumbling service station attendants are left as the sole beneficiaries in a gangster's will. Their trip to claim their fortune is sidetracked when they are stranded in a haunted house along with several other strangers.

The Awful Truth

Unfounded suspicions lead a married couple to begin divorce proceedings, whereupon they start undermining each other's attempts to find new romance.

The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

Fritz, now married and with a son, is desperate to escape from the domestic hell he now finds himself in. Lighting up a joint, he begins to dream about his eight other lives, hoping to find one that will provide a pleasant distraction.

How to Get Ahead in Advertising

Pressure from his boss and a skin-cream client produces a talking boil on a British adman's neck.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

An account of Baron Munchausen's supposed travels and fantastical experiences with his band of misfits.

CB4

A "rockumentary", covering the rise to fame of MC Gusto, Stab Master Arson, and Dead Mike: members of the rap group "CB4". We soon learn that these three are not what they seem and don't appear to know as much about rap music as they claim... but a lack of musical ability in an artist never hurts sales, does it? You've just got to play the part of a rap star...

Polyester

Blessed with a keen sense of smell and cursed with a philandering pornographer husband, a parasitic mother, and a pair of delinquent children, the long-suffering Francine Fishpaw turns to the bottle as her life falls apart -- until deliverance appears in the form of a hunk named Todd Tomorrow.

Whindersson criou sua La Cantina de Papel

Plot unavailable

Penthouse Bois

After finding the original members of the Penthouse Bois, this film details what really happened behind the scenes during their meteoric rise and fall

Bill Hicks: Sane Man

Sane Man was filmed before Bill recorded ‘Dangerous’, his first comedy album, and is a turning point in Hicks’ career. It was the first complete Hicks show ever filmed and Bill pulled out all the stops for the cameras. Completely focused, a newly-sober Hicks paces the stage like a wild animal riffing effortless.

Ñeñeñe

Mario has prepared something for Cristina, but she doesn't seem very interested in knowing what it is.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

It's the 1970s and San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy is the top dog in local TV, but that's all about to change when ambitious reporter Veronica Corningstone arrives as a new employee at his station.

We Are Not Alone

Six weeks after the Gu'un aliens have invaded and completely conquered Earth, hapless Stewart becomes the Gu'uns' official human liaison who ends up saddled with alien Greggs for a housemate. Stewart must help the Gu'uns deliver their message to the masses and win favour with humankind, while also aiding the human resistance and managing his enduring crush on Elodie.

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun lives a supremely uneventful life, which revolves around his girlfriend, his mother, and, above all, his local pub. This gentle routine is threatened when the dead return to life and make strenuous attempts to snack on ordinary Londoners.

Time for Tinley

Tinley Secondary School is on the verge of collapse, after receiving the worst Ofsted results ever, Mrs Henley and the other staff members need to turn things around and fast. Can new management help save this struggling school or is this Time For Tinley?

Bringing Up Baby

David Huxley is waiting to get a bone he needs for his museum collection. Through a series of strange circumstances, he meets Susan Vance, and the duo have a series of misadventures which include a leopard called Baby.

The Great Dictator

Dictator Adenoid Hynkel tries to expand his empire while a poor Jewish barber tries to avoid persecution from Hynkel's regime.

Spaceballs

When the nefarious Dark Helmet hatches a plan to snatch Princess Vespa and steal her planet's air, space-bum-for-hire Lone Starr and his clueless sidekick fly to the rescue. Along the way, they meet Yogurt, who puts Lone Starr wise to the power of "The Schwartz." Can he master it in time to save the day?

The Philadelphia Story

When a rich woman's ex-husband and a tabloid-type reporter turn up just before her planned remarriage, she begins to learn the truth about herself.

Splashback

In the midst of one of the most significant moments in human history - the Moon landing - a guy working at a NASA warehouse has his own little passion project: the invention of the first urinal net.

Ninotchka

A stern Russian woman sent to Paris on official business finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest.

Bell, Book and Candle

A modern-day witch likes her neighbor but despises his fiancée, so she enchants him to love her instead... only to fall in love with him for real.

There's One Born Every Minute

A nine-year-old Elizabeth Taylor made her film debut in this lively comedy. She plays the spoiled-brat daughter of a pudding manufacturer who has been entered into the town's mayoral race by some of the local businessmen. They have chosen him because they think he is easy to manipulate. As a sales gimmick, the pudding magnate advertises that his product contains the highly nutritious "Vitamin Z." He suddenly begins selling pudding like crazy and soon his political campaign is well-funded. Unfortunately, there is no "Vitamin Z" and when this is discovered, the town fathers try to dump him and show that he is a fake.

Raising Arizona

When a childless couple--an ex-con and an ex-cop--decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintuplets, their lives become more complicated than they anticipated.

Some Like It Hot

Two musicians witness a mob hit and struggle to find a way out of the city before they are found by the gangsters. Their only opportunity is to join an all-girl band as they leave on a tour. To make their getaway they must first disguise themselves as women, then keep their identities secret and deal with the problems this brings - such as an attractive bandmate and a very determined suitor.

Runaway Bride

Having already left three grooms at the altar, Maggie Carpenter is branded "the runaway bride" by jaded New York journalist Ike Graham. But, after his facts are called into question, Ike races to Maggie's hometown to save his reputation and report on her upcoming fourth trip down the aisle – during which he's convinced she'll run again. Though he's there on a muckraking mission, Ike can't help but fall for this breathtaking heartbreaker.

Charade

After Regina Lampert falls for the dashing Peter Joshua on a skiing holiday in the French Alps, she discovers upon her return to Paris that her husband has been murdered. Soon, she and Peter are giving chase to three of her late husband's World War II cronies, Tex, Scobie and Gideon, who are after a quarter of a million dollars the quartet stole while behind enemy lines.