The Onion Movie (2008)

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

Filmmaker Adam Scorgie explores the illegal marijuana industry in British Columbia, revealing how the international business is most likely more profitable than it would be if it was lawful in this enlightening documentary. Marijuana growers, law enforcement officials, physicians, politicians, criminologists, economists and celebrities—including comedian Tommy Chong—shed light on this topical subject in a series of compelling interviews.

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Sir Charles Baskerville dies on the moor under mysterious circumstances and rumors abound about a demonic hound. When the American heir arrives to take charge, a family friend calls in Holmes and Watson to get to the heart of the mystery.

The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!

Leroy, Reggie and Cheruce Paloni host a Halloween special full of spooky shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.

King's Game

Starting a new job as a political journalist at a leading newspaper, Ulrik Torp witnesses a brutal struggle for power in the Midparty's ranks -- a struggle that coincides with the charismatic party leader's involvement in a near fatal car accident. A flurry of lies and media speculation surrounds the incident. Gradually, Ulrik unearths a ruthless conspiracy involving the incumbent prime minister.

Tomb of the Werewolf

A reality TV crew visits Castle Daninsky to search for a hidden treasure in the dungeons. Instead of finding treasure, they unearth a tomb and unleash a cursed servant.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove

A group of friends unleash a demonic Pirate from a treasure chest.

The Guardian Brothers

There's a crisis in the Chinese Spirit World -- humans don't believe in gods anymore! A Door God, facing unemployment, ventures into the human world to prove his worth, leading to unexpected encounters and transformations for humans and spirits alike.

The Train

As the Allied forces approach Paris in August 1944, German Colonel Von Waldheim is desperate to take all of France's greatest paintings to Germany. He manages to secure a train to transport the valuable art works even as the chaos of retreat descends upon them. The French resistance however wants to stop them from stealing their national treasures but have received orders from London that they are not to be destroyed. The station master, Labiche, is tasked with scheduling the train and making it all happen smoothly but he is also part of a dwindling group of resistance fighters tasked with preventing the theft. He and others stage an elaborate ruse to keep the train from ever leaving French territory.

Wolf Warrior 2

China's deadliest special forces operative settles into a quiet life on the sea. When sadistic mercenaries begin targeting nearby civilians, he must leave his newfound peace behind and return to his duties as a soldier and protector.

The Patriot

A deadly virus threatens to wipe out an entire Rocky Mountain town, leaving the town doctor to find some way to escape the soldiers who enforce the town's quarantine and devise an antidote. Matters take a more deadly turn after the physician is captured by a dangerously unstable band of militia extremists.

The Inbetweeners Movie

High school graduation just wouldn’t be complete without an un-chaperoned, uninhibited and unforgettable final holiday. At least that’s what Will, Jay, Simon and Neil think when they book a two-week stay on an exotic Greek island. As their dreams of sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights are left hopelessly unfulfilled, the lads fight their way into the party scene with hilariously humiliating results.

Batman: Gotham Knight

A chronicle of Bruce Wayne's establishment and progression into Gotham City’s legendary caped crusader through 6 standalone episodes.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

Toby, a cynical film director finds himself trapped in the outrageous delusions of an old Spanish shoe-maker who believes himself to be Don Quixote. In the course of their comic and increasingly surreal adventures, Toby is forced to confront the tragic repercussions of a film he made in his idealistic youth.

Reign Over Me

A man who lost his family in the September 11 attack on New York City runs into his old college roommate. Rekindling the friendship is the one thing that appears able to help the man recover from his grief.

Top Secret!

Popular and dashing American singer Nick Rivers travels to East Germany to perform in a music festival. When he loses his heart to the gorgeous Hillary Flammond, he finds himself caught up in an underground resistance movement. Rivers joins forces with Agent Cedric and Flammond to attempt the rescue of her father, Dr. Paul, from the Germans, who have captured the scientist in hopes of coercing him into building a new naval mine.

Blue Streak

Miles Logan is a jewel thief who just hit the big time by stealing a huge diamond. However, after two years in jail, he comes to find out that he hid the diamond in a police building that was being built at the time of the robbery. In an attempt to regain his diamond, he poses as an LAPD detective.

Jackass: The Movie

Johnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time. They wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilized golf course, they even do stunts involving LIVE alligators, and so on.

Suburbicon

In the quiet family town of Suburbicon during the 1950s, the best and worst of humanity is hilariously reflected through the deeds of seemingly ordinary people. When a home invasion turns deadly, a picture-perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and murder.

Imagine Me & You

During her wedding ceremony, Rachel notices Luce in the audience and feels instantly drawn to her. The two women become close friends, and when Rachel learns that Luce is a lesbian, she realizes that despite her happy marriage to Heck, she is falling for Luce. As she questions her sexual orientation, Rachel must decide between her stable relationship with Heck and her exhilarating new romance with Luce.

Wild Wild West

Legless Southern inventor Dr. Arliss Loveless plans to rekindle the Civil War by assassinating President Ulysses S. Grant. Only two men can stop him: gunfighter James West and master-of-disguise and inventor Artemus Gordon. The two must team up to thwart Loveless' plans.

A Haunted House 2

After exorcising the demons of his ex, Malcolm starts afresh with his new girlfriend and her two children. After moving into their dream home, Malcolm is once again plagued by bizarre paranormal events.

Black Box

Mathieu is a young and talented black box analyst on a mission to solve the reason behind the deadly crash of a brand new aircraft. Yet, when the case is closed by authorities, Mathieu cannot help but sense there is something wrong with the evidence. As he listens to the tracks again, he starts detecting some seriously disturbing details. Could the tape have been modified? Going against his boss' orders, Mathieu begins his own rogue investigation - an obsessional and dangerous quest for truth that will quickly threaten far more than his career...

I Am Sam

Sam, a neurodivergent man, has a daughter with a homeless woman who abandons them when they leave the hospital, leaving Sam to raise Lucy on his own. But as Lucy grows up, Sam's limitations as a parent start to become a problem and the authorities take her away. Sam convinces high-priced lawyer Rita to take his case pro bono and in turn teaches her the value of love and family.

Escape from Alcatraz

San Francisco Bay, January 18, 1960. Frank Lee Morris is transferred to Alcatraz, a maximum security prison located on a rocky island. Although no one has ever managed to escape from there, Frank and other inmates begin to carefully prepare an escape plan.

Haunted Mansion

A woman and her son enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.

Escape from New York

In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam free. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.

Dogtooth

Three teenagers are confined to an isolated country estate that could very well be on another planet. The trio spend their days listening to endless homemade tapes that teach them a whole new vocabulary. Any word that comes from beyond their family abode is instantly assigned a new meaning. Hence 'the sea' refers to a large armchair and 'zombies' are little yellow flowers. Having invented a brother whom they claim to have ostracized for his disobedience, the uber-controlling parents terrorize their offspring into submission.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman.

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself, finds herself.

The Mule

Earl Stone, a man in his eighties, is broke, alone, and facing foreclosure of his business when he is offered a job that simply requires him to drive. Easy enough, but, unbeknownst to Earl, he's just signed on as a drug courier for a Mexican cartel. He does so well that his cargo increases exponentially, and Earl hit the radar of hard-charging DEA agent Colin Bates.

Superbad

Two co-dependent high school seniors are forced to deal with separation anxiety after their plan to stage a booze-soaked party goes awry.

Casino Royale

Le Chiffre, a banker to the world's terrorists, is scheduled to participate in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro, where he intends to use his winnings to establish his financial grip on the terrorist market. M sends Bond—on his maiden mission as a 00 Agent—to attend this game and prevent Le Chiffre from winning. With the help of Vesper Lynd and Felix Leiter, Bond enters the most important poker game in his already dangerous career.

Passengers

A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

12 Years a Slave

In the pre-Civil War United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery. Facing cruelty as well as unexpected kindnesses Solomon struggles not only to stay alive, but to retain his dignity. In the twelfth year of his unforgettable odyssey, Solomon’s chance meeting with a Canadian abolitionist will forever alter his life.

The Shawshank Redemption

Imprisoned in the 1940s for the double murder of his wife and her lover, upstanding banker Andy Dufresne begins a new life at the Shawshank prison, where he puts his accounting skills to work for an amoral warden. During his long stretch in prison, Dufresne comes to be admired by the other inmates -- including an older prisoner named Red -- for his integrity and unquenchable sense of hope.

The Godfather

Spanning the years 1945 to 1955, a chronicle of the fictional Italian-American Corleone crime family. When organized crime family patriarch, Vito Corleone barely survives an attempt on his life, his youngest son, Michael steps in to take care of the would-be killers, launching a campaign of bloody revenge.

Back to the Future

Eighties teenager Marty McFly is accidentally sent back in time to 1955, inadvertently disrupting his parents' first meeting and attracting his mother's romantic interest. Marty must repair the damage to history by rekindling his parents' romance and - with the help of his eccentric inventor friend Doc Brown - return to 1985.

Life Stinks

A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with a homeless woman.

Some Like It Hot

After the unexpected death of his best friend, a man examines his life and finds it incredibly lonely. Inspired by an encounter with a beautiful and sexy model, he embarks with his three friends on what turns out to be a crazy (and slightly stupid) endeavor on a path towards fulfillment.

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun lives a supremely uneventful life, which revolves around his girlfriend, his mother, and, above all, his local pub. This gentle routine is threatened when the dead return to life and make strenuous attempts to snack on ordinary Londoners.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

King Arthur, accompanied by his squire, recruits his Knights of the Round Table, including Sir Bedevere the Wise, Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot and Sir Galahad the Pure. On the way, Arthur battles the Black Knight who, despite having had all his limbs chopped off, insists he can still fight. They reach Camelot, but Arthur decides not to enter, as "it is a silly place".

Raising Arizona

When a childless couple--an ex-con and an ex-cop--decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintuplets, their lives become more complicated than they anticipated.

D.E.B.S.

The star of a team of teenage crime fighters falls for the alluring villainess she must bring to justice.

There's Something About Mary

For Ted, prom night went about as bad as it’s possible for any night to go. Thirteen years later, he finally gets another chance with his old prom date, only to run up against other suitors including the sleazy detective he hired to find her.

It Girl

Overwhelmed by her husband’s medical bills, Sofia takes a desperate measure: she becomes an egoblogger.

Life of Brian

Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.

Liberty's Secret

The daughter of a preacher becomes the centerpiece for a conservative political campaign but finds herself falling in love with a woman.

Brazil

Low-level bureaucrat Sam Lowry escapes the monotony of his day-to-day life through a recurring daydream of himself as a virtuous hero saving a beautiful damsel. Investigating a case that led to the wrongful arrest and eventual death of an innocent man instead of wanted terrorist Harry Tuttle, he meets the woman from his daydream, and in trying to help her gets caught in a web of mistaken identities, mindless bureaucracy and lies.

Bringing Up Baby

David Huxley is waiting to get a bone he needs for his museum collection. Through a series of strange circumstances, he meets Susan Vance, and the duo have a series of misadventures which include a leopard called Baby.

The Great Dictator

Dictator Adenoid Hynkel tries to expand his empire while a poor Jewish barber tries to avoid persecution from Hynkel's regime.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

After the insane General Jack D. Ripper initiates a nuclear strike on the Soviet Union, a war room full of politicians, generals and a Russian diplomat all frantically try to stop the nuclear strike.

Spaceballs

When the nefarious Dark Helmet hatches a plan to snatch Princess Vespa and steal her planet's air, space-bum-for-hire Lone Starr and his clueless sidekick fly to the rescue. Along the way, they meet Yogurt, who puts Lone Starr wise to the power of "The Schwartz." Can he master it in time to save the day?

The Philadelphia Story

When a rich woman's ex-husband and a tabloid-type reporter turn up just before her planned remarriage, she begins to learn the truth about herself.

Borodino

An experimental sitcom, shot in the style of silent films of the early twentieth century. A parody of military-patriotic films. The plot of the film is the battle of the Russian army with Napoleon in 1812.

We Are Not Alone

Six weeks after the Gu'un aliens have invaded and completely conquered Earth, hapless Stewart becomes the Gu'uns' official human liaison who ends up saddled with alien Greggs for a housemate. Stewart must help the Gu'uns deliver their message to the masses and win favour with humankind, while also aiding the human resistance and managing his enduring crush on Elodie.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev travels to America to make a documentary. As he zigzags across the nation, Borat meets real people in real situations with hysterical consequences. His backwards behavior generates strong reactions around him exposing prejudices and hypocrisies in American culture.

Some Like It Hot

Two musicians witness a mob hit and struggle to find a way out of the city before they are found by the gangsters. Their only opportunity is to join an all-girl band as they leave on a tour. To make their getaway they must first disguise themselves as women, then keep their identities secret and deal with the problems this brings - such as an attractive bandmate and a very determined suitor.

Not Another Teen Movie

On a bet, a gridiron hero at John Hughes High School sets out to turn a bespectacled plain Jane into a beautiful and popular prom queen in this outrageous send-up of the teen movies of the 1980s and '90s.

Election

Tracy Flick is running unopposed for this year’s high school student election. But Jim McAllister has a different plan. Partly to establish a more democratic election, and partly to satisfy some deep personal anger toward Tracy, Jim talks football player Paul Metzler to run for president as well.

L'Esprit de famille

A writer must face the sudden death of his father, but after the burial, the latter reappears to him. He will have to learn to live with this facetious companion, but difficult to explain the situation to his family, because he is the only one who can see him. This disturbing presence will create an earthquake in the family.

Undercover Brother

An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.

The Four Musketeers

The Four Musketeers defend the queen and her dressmaker from Cardinal Richelieu and Milady de Winter.

It's A Small World

Socialite, privileged, Jane Dale and lawyer Bill Shevlin meet in an automobile accident at night, on a dirt road, in a storm, near a hick town which fleeces travelers through corrupt law enforcement.

That Touch of Mink

Cathy Timberlake is en route to a job interview when a car transporting businessman Philip Shayne covers her in mud. He sends his assistant, Roger, to apologize, but upon meeting Cathy, Roger knows that she would be a suitable match for his boss. Despite their mutual attraction, Cathy and Philip want different things. Philip wants a fling, while Cathy wants a marriage. As they travel to exotic locales, their differing motivations are put to the test.

Hamlet 2

Failed actor-turned-worse-high-school-drama-teacher Dana Marschz rallies his Tucson students as he conceives and stages politically incorrect musical sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet.

The Mouse That Roared

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. They send an invasion force (in chain mail, armed with bows and arrows) to New York and they arrive during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets.

The Last Supper

A group of idealistic, but frustrated, liberals succumb to the temptation of murdering rightwing pundits for their political beliefs.

High Anxiety

A psychiatrist with intense acrophobia (fear of heights) goes to work for a mental institution run by doctors who appear to be crazier than their patients, and have secrets that they are willing to commit murder to keep.

Republic of South Ah Sh**t

This variety show features some of South Africa's top comedians and celebrities in sketches parodying stereotypes, pop culture and race relations.

110% Honest

Former pro cyclist Kim Karlsen (39) holds a press conference admitting use of performance enhancing drugs in her career. Rather than accepting the consequences of her actions, our antiheroine sticks to her guns and refuses to alter her mindset.

Striptease

Bounced from her job, Erin Grant needs money if she's to have any chance of winning back custody of her child. But, eventually, she must confront the naked truth: to take on the system, she'll have to take it all off. Erin strips to conquer, but she faces unintended circumstances when a hound dog of a Congressman zeroes in on her and sharpens the shady tools at his fingertips, including blackmail and murder.

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

Believe it or not, even Smalltown USA still has people who are unfulfilled and unrelieved in the midst of plenty. Levonna and Lamar could have the perfect relationship, were it not for Lamar's obsession with rear entry.

What's Up, Doc?

The accidental mix-up of four identical plaid overnight bags leads to a series of increasingly wild and wacky situations.

History of the World: Part I

An uproarious version of history that proves nothing is sacred – not even the Roman Empire, the French Revolution and the Spanish Inquisition.

Three for the Show

This musical reworking of Too Many Husbands (1940), features Grable as a top singer and dancer who's been widowed by WW II. She marries her late husband's songwriting partner, Gower Champion, but the new marriage is thrown for a loop when Lemmon, her first husband, turns up very much alive and eager to see Grable.

Runaway Bride

Having already left three grooms at the altar, Maggie Carpenter is branded "the runaway bride" by jaded New York journalist Ike Graham. But, after his facts are called into question, Ike races to Maggie's hometown to save his reputation and report on her upcoming fourth trip down the aisle – during which he's convinced she'll run again. Though he's there on a muckraking mission, Ike can't help but fall for this breathtaking heartbreaker.

Charade

After Regina Lampert falls for the dashing Peter Joshua on a skiing holiday in the French Alps, she discovers upon her return to Paris that her husband has been murdered. Soon, she and Peter are giving chase to three of her late husband's World War II cronies, Tex, Scobie and Gideon, who are after a quarter of a million dollars the quartet stole while behind enemy lines.

Finishing the Game: The Search for a New Bruce Lee

In 1973, martial arts great Bruce Lee died, his final film, Game of Death, left unfinished. With the public hungry for more Lee, movie execs decide to find a replacement. This outrageous satire looks at the entire process, from the oddball candidates to the greed and racial motivations that drive the final decision. There's big business in the movies, and Finishing the Game skewers it with an eye for '70s detail.

Cecil B. Demented

A young lunatic director and his devoted cult of cinema terrorists kidnap a Hollywood movie goddess and force her to star in their radical underground movie.

Repo Man

A down and out young punk gets a job working with a seasoned repo man, but what awaits him in his new career is a series of outlandish adventures revolving around aliens, the CIA, and a most wanted '64 Chevy.

The Past-Master

A research worker Robespier Galabov (Yakovlev) lives with his family in a small communal flat with shared kitchen and dreams about a self-contained home. Galabov meet Rangel Lelin (Gospodinov), the well-known amidst the localities as the past-master, when he realized that the new municipal apartment they apply for won't be ready in the next decade. The Past-Master promises to build the private house in a month. After starting the construction, Rangel Lelin constantly blackmail Galabov for more money through treat of "putting the hat". Finally the house was built but the inauguration become gloomy. It turns out that the chimney of the fireplace doesn't work properly. After days of luckless attempts to solve the problem the past-master's brother come into sight. Knowing the Lelin's tricks he find a hat built in the chimney.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

It's the 1970s and San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy is the top dog in local TV, but that's all about to change when ambitious reporter Veronica Corningstone arrives as a new employee at his station.

Turbine

Plot unavailable