Small Talk (1929)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

The Wild Soccer Bunch 5

"The Wild Soccer Bunch" celebrate their last victory against the "Silver Lights" - and set one record in volley-pass game after another in the forest. But they are not alone: Vampires target the team. To lure them into their bunker, they kidnap Leon. Will Vanessa ever see him again?

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion

A strange meteor lands in Japan and unleashes hundreds of insect-like "Legion" creatures bent on colonizing the Earth. When the military fails to control the situation, Gamera shows up to deal with the ever-evolving space adversary. However the battle may result in Gamera losing his bond with both Asagi and humanity.

Umudumuz Şaban

Plot unavailable

Waking Ned

When a lottery winner dies of shock, his fellow townsfolk attempt to claim the money.

Vera and the Pleasure of Others

Seventeen-year-old Vera earns money by secretly renting out an apartment to teenagers seeking privacy, all while eavesdropping from behind a closed door. As she listens, her own desires awaken.

The Machine Girl

The life of a young, Japanese schoolgirl is destroyed when her family is killed by a Ninja-Yakuza family. Her hand cut off, she replaces it with various machines-of-death, and seeks revenge.

Marvel One-Shot: Item 47

Benny and Claire, a down-on-their-luck couple, find a discarded Chitauri weapon referred to as 'Item 47'.

13 Tzameti

Sebastian, a young man, has decided to follow instructions intended for someone else, without knowing where they will take him. Something else he does not know is that Gerard Dorez, a cop on a knife-edge, is tailing him. When he reaches his destination, Sebastian falls into a degenerate, clandestine world of mental chaos behind closed doors in which men gamble on the lives of others men.

Hard Luck

A down on his luck young man makes several attempts at committing suicide but fails them too. He then finds himself becoming more confident through a series of petty adventures, to such an extent that this becomes his undoing.

Stalingrad

A German Platoon is explored through the brutal fighting of the Battle of Stalingrad. After half of their number is wiped out and they're placed under the command of a sadistic captain, the platoon lieutenant leads his men to desert. The platoon members attempt escape from the city, now surrounded by the Soviet Army.

Soulless 2

Max Andreev thought the best place to start a new life would be at the other end of the world. What he didn't know, is that you can't outrun your past.

Montana

In the mean streets of London's East End, a former Serbian commando and a fourteen-year old boy plot revenge against a powerful crime lord and his ruthless lieutenants. As our heroes prepare to take on their enemies, the boy is mentored in the dark arts of assassination and learns the true meaning of friendship, honor and respect.

Angelique and the Sultan

Angélique is in a North African Muslim kingdom where she is now part of the Sultan's harem. She refuses to be bedded as her captors try to beat sense into her. She finally decides to escape with the help of two Christian prisoners.

Puppet Master II

A new team of paranormal researchers has come to the hotel to investigate its murder-soaked past; the puppets -- led by a new member, Torch -- shed some light on the matter, as they tunnel, burn, strangle and hook to survive.

Shotgun Stories

Shotgun Stories tracks a feud that erupts between two sets of half brothers following the death of their father. Set against the cotton fields and back roads of Southeast Arkansas, these brothers discover the lengths to which each will go to protect their family.

Police

Musa Rami, who has become a legend with his struggle against the mafia, is a police officer at homicide division. One day prior to celebrating his 63rd birthday, with a surprise party arranged by his family, he finds out that he has cancer and two months left before his death. In these two months, will he be able to fight against the mafia that has intensified its threats against his family and simultaneously reveal his deep love to Funda, who is a university student 40 years younger than him?

The United Monster Talent Agency

A short comedy spoof about Universal Monsters and their everyday unconventional work done at their very own talent agency for their movies.

Skyfall

When Bond's latest assignment goes gravely wrong, agents around the world are exposed and MI6 headquarters is attacked. While M faces challenges to her authority and position from Gareth Mallory, the new Chairman of the Intelligence and Security Committee, it's up to Bond, aided only by field agent Eve, to locate the mastermind behind the attack.

Q Planes

In England, an eccentric police inspector, an earnest test pilot and a spunky female reporter team up to solve the mystery of a series of test aircraft which have disappeared without a trace while over the ocean on their maiden flights; unaware, as they are, that a spy ring has been shooting the planes down with a ray machine hidden aboard a salvage vessel which is on hand to haul the downed aircraft aboard, crews and all.

The Inhabited Island 2: Rebellion

Maxim Kammerer fights for his love and freedom. He leads a rebel movement challenging the five greedy rulers. One of the rulers, Strannik, knows how dangerous Maxim can be. He makes up his mind to stop the young man at any cost. The last close fight will decide everything.

How to Seduce Your Teacher

There's a new girl in school, Angela, the Headmaster's neice. Every male will try to seduce her, even her uncle. Meanwhile she will drive the philosophy's teacher mad and her best friend Irma will have a good time with the classmates. Will they get the grades?

(NULL)

An unknown girl breaks out of her daily grind by undergoing an intense audio-visual trip.

Carlito's Way

Free after years in prison, Carlito Brigante intends to give up his criminal ways, but it's not long before the ex-con is sucked back into the New York City underworld. Reconnecting with his dancer girlfriend, Carlito gets entangled in the shady dealings of his friend Dave Kleinfeld, who also serves as his lawyer. An encounter with shifty gangster Benny Blanco sets the duo on a dangerous path.

Jersey Boys

A musical biopic of the Four Seasons—the rise, the tough times and personal clashes, and the ultimate triumph of a group of friends whose music became symbolic of a generation. Far from a mere tribute concert, it gets to the heart of the relationships at the centre of the group, with a special focus on frontman Frankie Valli, the small kid with the big falsetto.

Close Range

A rogue soldier turned outlaw is thrust into a relentless fight with a corrupt sheriff, his obedient deputies, and a dangerous drug cartel in order to protect his sister and her young daughter.

V2: Dead Angel

The tough Detective Vares, get hired by a friend accused of murdering a girl. His job is to find the real killer, but people aren't talking. Before he can get traction another homicide takes place- and things move toward a dire conclusion.

My Friends Act III

This time the "amici" (friends) are just four: Necchi, Meandri, Mascetti and Sassaroli. Nevertheless they are older they still love to spend their time mainly organizing irresistible jokes to everyone in every kind of situation. Mascetti is hospitalized in a geriatric clinic. Of course the place become immediately the main stage for all their jokes. After some jokes they decided to place an ultimate incredible and farcical joke to the clinic guests.

The Square

The Square looks at the hard realities faced day-to-day by people working to build Egypt’s new democracy. Cairo’s Tahrir Square is the heart and soul of the film, which follows several young activists. Armed with values, determination, music, humor, an abundance of social media, and sheer obstinacy, they know that the thorny path to democracy only began with Hosni Mubarak’s fall. The life-and-death struggle between the people and the power of the state is still playing out.

Beauty and the Beast

The story of a gentle-hearted beast in love with a simple and beautiful girl. She is drawn to the repellent but strangely fascinating Beast, who tests her fidelity by giving her a key, telling her that if she doesn't return it to him by a specific time, he will die of grief. She is unable to return the key on time, but it is revealed that the Beast is the genuinely handsome one. A simple tale of tragic love that turns into a surreal vision of death, desire, and beauty.

Enemies Closer

After a major shipment of drugs goes missing on the US-Canadian border, forest ranger and former Navy SEAL Henry is plunged into survival mode when the drug cartel forces him to help retrieve the downed package. Trapped in the wilderness with no communication to the outside world, Henry finds himself face to face with Clay, a man with a personal vendetta against Henry who has returned for retribution. Now, the two mortal enemies must make a choice: put aside their past and work together, or die alone at the hands of the drug runners, a ruthless gang who will stop at nothing to retrieve their lost cargo.

The Prince

A family man who turns out to be a retired mob enforcer must travel across the country to find his daughter who has gone missing.

Red

A married woman with a lovely daughter lives a carefree life, until she meets her ex-lover at a friend’s wedding. They haven’t seen each other in ten years, but they begin an affair.

World of Warcraft: Looking For Group

An all-new documentary celebrating 10 years of adventure, camaraderie, and /dancing on mailboxes all around Azeroth. Explore the history of WoW with its creators, and journey into corners of Blizzard and the WoW community you’ve never seen before.

Armour of God 3: Chinese Zodiac

Asian Hawk leads a mercenary team to recover several lost artifacts from the Old Summer Palace, the bronze heads of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals which were sacked by the French and British armies from the imperial Summer Palace in Beijing in 1860. Assisted by a Chinese student and a Parisian woman, Hawk stops at nothing to accomplish the mission.

Jack Irish: Bad Debts

Jack Irish is a man getting his life back together again. A former criminal lawyer whose world imploded, he now spends his days as a part-time investigator, debt collector, apprentice cabinet maker, punter and sometime lover - the complete man really. Jack is an expert in finding those who don't want to be found - dead or alive. He helps out his mates while avoiding the past. That is until the past finds him.

The BFG

Sophie is snatched from her orphanage early one morning by the BFG (Big Friendly Giant), whom she witnesses engaged in mysterious activities. She is soon put at ease, as she learns that BFG's job is to collect, catalog and deliver pleasant dreams to children. She joins him that night, but a mean giants follow them, planning to eat the children of the world.

Puff, the Magic Dragon

Jackie is a boy who is so trapped by his fears and doubts that he could not communicate with anyone. Then, a magic dragon named Puff comes to help Jackie by taking his soul force on a wonderous voyage to his island of Honah Lee. Along the way, they have adventures that nurture Jackie's imagination and courage in unorthodox ways.

Despicable Me

Villainous Gru lives up to his reputation as a despicable, deplorable and downright unlikable guy when he hatches a plan to steal the moon from the sky. But he has a tough time staying on task after three orphans land in his care.

Oliver!

Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist, a classic tale of an orphan who runs away from the workhouse and joins up with a group of boys headed by the Artful Dodger and trained to be pickpockets by master thief Fagin.

Blue & Malone, Imaginary Detectives

Gobinchu, Marc's imaginary friend, has disappeared. Berta, his younger sister, hires detectives Blue & Malone, a giant cat and a plasticine dog, to investigate what happened. Together, they tour the house living many adventures and knowing and facing numerous fantastic creatures.

The Tin Man

Thelma and Patsy find themselves in a spooky house inhabited by a nut who is a mechanical genius and has made a robot who does everything. The inventor manipulates the robot's control board from a hidden room. The girls are soon in a panic. Patsy gets into an argument with the robot and loses the match of wits. Blackie Burke, an escaped convict, is using the house as a hideout, and this adds to the problems the girls already have.

Robin and the 7 Hoods

Set in Prohibition era Chicago, bootlegger Robbo and his cronies refuse to pay the greedy Guy Gisborne a cut of their profits after Guy shoots mob boss Big Jim and takes over. When Big Jim's daughter, Marian, gives Robbo a large sum, believing he has avenged her father's death, the gangster donates to an orphanage, cementing his reputation as a softhearted hood.

Gone Nutty

Scrat tries to finish his rather large collection of acorns when things start going nutty.

Big Buck Bunny

Follow a day of the life of Big Buck Bunny when he meets three bullying rodents: Frank, Rinky, and Gamera. The rodents amuse themselves by harassing helpless creatures by throwing fruits, nuts and rocks at them. After the deaths of two of Bunny's favorite butterflies, and an offensive attack on Bunny himself, Bunny sets aside his gentle nature and orchestrates a complex plan for revenge.

Holding the Air

The story of a war-orphan, who remembers first post-war days, his stay in Home for war-orphans, his teachers, friends, and mostly his "only brother".

Nacho Libre

Ignacio, a disrespected cook at a Mexican monastery, can barely afford to feed the orphans who live there. Inspired by a local wrestling hero, he decides to moonlight as the not-so-famous Luchador "Nacho Libre" to earn money for the monastery -- not to mention the admiration of beautiful nun Sister Encarnación.

Twins

Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a south seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks.

Stuart Little

When the Littles adopt Stuart, the mouse, George is initially unwelcoming to his new brother, and the family cat, Snowbell, is even less enthusiastic. Stuart resolves to face these difficulties with as much pluck and courage as he can muster.

Norbit

A mild-mannered guy who is engaged to a monstrous woman meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.

Problem Child

Ben Healy and his social climbing wife Flo adopt fun-loving seven year old Junior. But they soon discover he's a little monster as he turns a camping trip, a birthday party and even a baseball game into comic nightmares.

Blues Brothers 2000

Finally released from prison, Elwood Blues is once again enlisted by Sister Mary Stigmata in her latest crusade to raise funds for a children's hospital. Hitting the road to re-unite the band and win the big prize at the New Orleans Battle of the Bands, Elwood is pursued cross-country by the cops.

The Whoopee Boys

Two obnoxious and dim-witted misfits attempt to save a school for needy children by attempting to sneak into the wealthy high society of Palm Beach to get the money needed for their cause.

Mickey's Christmas Carol

Ebenezer Scrooge is far too greedy to understand that Christmas is a time for kindness and generosity. But with the guidance of some new found friends, Scrooge learns to embrace the spirit of the season. A retelling of the classic Dickens tale with Disney's classic characters.

The Vagabond

A tramp tries to earn money by playing the violin, but he’s soon facing off against the jealous competition.

Flirting with Disaster

Adopted as a child, new father Mel Colpin decides he cannot name his son until he knows his birth parents, and determines to make a cross-country quest to find them. Accompanied by his wife, Nancy, and an inept yet gorgeous adoption agent, Tina, he departs on an epic road trip that quickly devolves into a farce of mistaken identities, wrong turns, and overzealous and love-struck ATF agents.

The Pawnshop

A pawnbroker's assistant deals with his grumpy boss, his annoying co-worker and some eccentric customers as he flirts with the pawnbroker's daughter, until a perfidious crook with bad intentions arrives at the pawnshop.

The Count

A tailor's apprentice burns Count Broko's clothes while ironing them and the tailor fires him. Later, the tailor discovers a note explaining that the count cannot attend a dance party, so he dresses as such to take his place; but the apprentice has also gone to the mansion where the party is celebrated and bumps into the tailor in disguise…

La Guerre des Romands

Plot unavailable

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi is nibbling the grass, unaware of the upcoming encounter with Godzilla. Who will win when they finally meet? Preserved by the Academy Film Archive in 2009.

August Rush

Lyla and Louis, a singer and a musician, fall in love, but are soon compelled to separate. Lyla is forced to give up her newborn but unknown to her, he grows up to become a musical genius.

Johnny Express

In the year 2150, Johnny, a lazy Space Delivery Man, must deliver a package on a planet he does not fully understand.

Ce qui me meut

The life of Etienne-Jules Marey, the 19th century pioneer of photography and cinema, famous for studying animal and human locomotion.

Caught in a Cabaret

Charlie is a clumsy waiter in a cheap cabaret, suffering the strict orders from his boss. He meets a pretty girl in the park and tries to impress her by pretending to be an ambassador. Unfortunately she has a jealous fiancé.

Judas & Jesus

Judas is the hero and Jesus is the villain in this lewd retelling of the classic Bible story. Depicted through anthropomorphic animals, we see a unique alternative perspective. Judas (an unscrupulous black goat) has been at odds with Jesus (a self-righteous white sheep) ever since childhood. However, when an opportunity arises to sell Jesus out for the 30 Euros he needs to get into Maria Magdalena's sex show, things finally seem to start going Judas' way. But what will Jesus' adoring fans have to say about it?

Alma and the Zoramites

Zoram and his prideful people have corrupted their religion which teaches them to boast of their righteousness and persecute the poor. Alma and Amulek fail to persuade the rich Zoramites to repent. Alma ministers to the poor believers and teaches one of the most important lessons on faith and humility. Zoram forces the believers in Antionum from their land where they finally find refuge with Lamanite converts in Jershon.

The Tree of Life

The prophet Lehi had a dream that brought joy and concern for the eternal welfare of his family. The symbols of Lehi’s dream contain teachings important to us even today. The meaning behind the symbols are brought to life, from the mists of darkness to the great and spacious building. The importance of holding— and helping others grasp— the iron rod so that we can partake of the fruit of eternal life becomes clear.

Cheburashka

Second animation about Gena and Cheburashka. Cheburashka wishes Gena the Crocodile a happy birthday and gives him a toy helicopter as a gift. After meeting some pioneers, they decide to be pioneers themselves. They build a playground for the local children and collect scrap metal, after which they become pioneers.

Bully for Bugs

Bugs Bunny, once again making that "wrong turn at Albuquerque", burrows into a bullring where a magnificent bull is making short work of a toreador. The bull bucks Bugs out of the arena, prompting the bunny to declare "Of course you realize, this means war!" The deft Bugs' arsenal comes plenty packed, as he uses anvils, well-placed face slaps and the bull's horns as a slingshot. The bull fights back, using his horns as a shotgun barrel. The bull's comeback is short-lived; just after Bugs makes out his will, he lures the bull out of the arena, just in time to set up a rube-like device that leads to the bull's defeat.

Destino

Short film to a song of love lost and rediscovered, a woman sees and undergoes surreal transformations. Her lover's face melts off, she dons a dress from the shadow of a bell and becomes a dandelion, ants crawl out of a hand and become Frenchmen riding bicycles. Not to mention the turtles with faces on their backs that collide to form a ballerina, or the bizarre baseball game.

Between Showers

Mr. Snookie steals an umbrella and then, while trying to help a woman to cross a puddle, the Tramp appears and intervenes.

Cruel, Cruel Love

This early Chaplin film has him playing a character quite different from the Tramp for which he would become famous. He is a rich, upper-class gentleman whose romance is endangered when his girlfriend oversees him being embraced by a maid. Chaplin's romantic interest in this film, Minta Durfee, was the wife of fellow Keystone actor, Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle.

Dough and Dynamite

Pierre and Jacques are working as waiters at a restaurant where the cooks go on strike. When the two are forced to work as bakers, the striking cooks put dynamite in the dough, with explosive results.

Kid Auto Races at Venice

The Tramp interferes with the celebration of several kid auto races in Venice, California (Junior Vanderbilt Cup Race, January 10 and 11, 1914), standing himself in the way of the cameraman who is filming the event.

Laughing Gas

Although only a dental assistant, Charlie pretends to be the dentist. After receiving too much anesthesia, a patient can't stop laughing, so Charlie knocks him out with a club.

Mabel's Busy Day

Mabel tries to sell hot dogs at a car race, but isn't doing a very good job at it. She sets down the box of hot dogs and leaves them for a moment. Charlie finds them and gives them away to the hungry spectators at the track as Mabel frantically tries to find her lost box of hot dogs. Mabel finds out that Charlie has stolen them and sends the police after him. Chaos ensues.

Mabel's Strange Predicament

A tramp gets drunk in a hotel lobby and, upstairs, causes some misunderstandings between Mabel, two hotel guests across the hall from her room, and Mabel's visiting sweetheart.

The Fatal Mallet

Three men compete for the attentions of a pretty girl. One of them, a little tramp, plays dirty.

The Masquerader

Charlie plays an actor who bungles several scenes and is kicked out. He returns convincingly dressed as a lady and charms the director, but Charlie never makes it into the film.

The New Janitor

The hero, a janitor played by Chaplin, is fired from work for accidentally knocking his bucket of water out the window and onto his boss the chief banker (Tandy). Meanwhile, one of the junior managers (Dillon) is being threatened with exposure by his bookie for gambling debts unpaid. Thus the manager decides to steal from the company.

Disorder in the Court

The Stooges are key witnesses at a murder trial. Their friend Gail Tempest, who dances at the Black Bottom cafe where the Stooges are musicians, is accused of killing Kirk Robin.

Take a Chance

It's a classic boy-meets-girl story, boy-loses-girl, boy gets mistaken for an escaped convict and ruthlessly chased by armies of cops across the countryside in a thrill-packed stunt-addled climax.

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon

From Richard Gale, mad maker of CRITICIZED, comes a film that will never have you looking at cutlery the same way again. Set-up as an epic-length trailer for an upcoming release, HORRIBLY SLOW... depicts a man's endless pursuit by what has got to be one of the most determined and patient murderers the screen has ever seen.

Prep & Landing

Wayne gets a new rookie partner, Lanny, after his previous partner got the promotion he wanted. Lanny has to remind Wayne of the Spirit of Christmas and the importance of being an elf in Santa's Prep and Landing elite unit.

Shivering Shakespeare

The gang is participating in a program sponsored by the Golden Age Dramatic League. They present their own fractured version of Quo Vadis. Things go from bad to worse when the neighborhood tough kids disrupt the show. The pie fight is given a new twist by use of some slow motion sequences.

A Chipmunk Christmas

Alvin learns the true meaning of Christmas.

B.O.B.'s Big Break

Dr. Cockroach comes up with a brilliant plan to break themselves out of Area 52 – but to implement the plan, he has to trick B.O.B. into thinking it’s his birthday.

Mickey Mouse Disco

A clip-show music video for the album of the same name and vintage. Includes 5 songs from the album ("Mousetrap", "Disco Mickey Mouse", "Watch Out For Goofy", "Macho Duck", "Welcome To Rio").

One Week

Newlyweds receive a build-it-yourself house as a wedding gift—and the house can, supposedly, be built in "one week". A rejected suitor secretly re-numbers packing crates, and the husband struggles to assemble the house according to this new 'arrangement' of its parts.

The Brother of Jared

Mahonri, the brother of Jared, is a righteous man in wicked Babel. After the tower of Babel is destroyed and the language of the people is confused, the Lord shows Mahonri how to build barges to carry the righteous across the sea to the Promised Land. When the brother of Jared asks the Lord to touch stones to light the barges, his faith is so strong that he receives a great revelation.