Small Talk (1929)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

The Wild Soccer Bunch 5

"The Wild Soccer Bunch" celebrate their last victory against the "Silver Lights" - and set one record in volley-pass game after another in the forest. But they are not alone: Vampires target the team. To lure them into their bunker, they kidnap Leon. Will Vanessa ever see him again?

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion

A strange meteor lands in Japan and unleashes hundreds of insect-like "Legion" creatures bent on colonizing the Earth. When the military fails to control the situation, Gamera shows up to deal with the ever-evolving space adversary. However the battle may result in Gamera losing his bond with both Asagi and humanity.

Umudumuz Şaban

Plot unavailable

Waking Ned

When a lottery winner dies of shock, his fellow townsfolk attempt to claim the money.

Vera and the Pleasure of Others

Seventeen-year-old Vera earns money by secretly renting out an apartment to teenagers seeking privacy, all while eavesdropping from behind a closed door. As she listens, her own desires awaken.

The Machine Girl

The life of a young, Japanese schoolgirl is destroyed when her family is killed by a Ninja-Yakuza family. Her hand cut off, she replaces it with various machines-of-death, and seeks revenge.

Marvel One-Shot: Item 47

Benny and Claire, a down-on-their-luck couple, find a discarded Chitauri weapon referred to as 'Item 47'.

13 Tzameti

Sebastian, a young man, has decided to follow instructions intended for someone else, without knowing where they will take him. Something else he does not know is that Gerard Dorez, a cop on a knife-edge, is tailing him. When he reaches his destination, Sebastian falls into a degenerate, clandestine world of mental chaos behind closed doors in which men gamble on the lives of others men.

Hard Luck

A down on his luck young man makes several attempts at committing suicide but fails them too. He then finds himself becoming more confident through a series of petty adventures, to such an extent that this becomes his undoing.

Stalingrad

A German Platoon is explored through the brutal fighting of the Battle of Stalingrad. After half of their number is wiped out and they're placed under the command of a sadistic captain, the platoon lieutenant leads his men to desert. The platoon members attempt escape from the city, now surrounded by the Soviet Army.

Soulless 2

Max Andreev thought the best place to start a new life would be at the other end of the world. What he didn't know, is that you can't outrun your past.

Montana

In the mean streets of London's East End, a former Serbian commando and a fourteen-year old boy plot revenge against a powerful crime lord and his ruthless lieutenants. As our heroes prepare to take on their enemies, the boy is mentored in the dark arts of assassination and learns the true meaning of friendship, honor and respect.

Angelique and the Sultan

Angélique is in a North African Muslim kingdom where she is now part of the Sultan's harem. She refuses to be bedded as her captors try to beat sense into her. She finally decides to escape with the help of two Christian prisoners.

Puppet Master II

A new team of paranormal researchers has come to the hotel to investigate its murder-soaked past; the puppets -- led by a new member, Torch -- shed some light on the matter, as they tunnel, burn, strangle and hook to survive.

Shotgun Stories

Shotgun Stories tracks a feud that erupts between two sets of half brothers following the death of their father. Set against the cotton fields and back roads of Southeast Arkansas, these brothers discover the lengths to which each will go to protect their family.

Police

Musa Rami, who has become a legend with his struggle against the mafia, is a police officer at homicide division. One day prior to celebrating his 63rd birthday, with a surprise party arranged by his family, he finds out that he has cancer and two months left before his death. In these two months, will he be able to fight against the mafia that has intensified its threats against his family and simultaneously reveal his deep love to Funda, who is a university student 40 years younger than him?

The United Monster Talent Agency

A short comedy spoof about Universal Monsters and their everyday unconventional work done at their very own talent agency for their movies.

Skyfall

When Bond's latest assignment goes gravely wrong, agents around the world are exposed and MI6 headquarters is attacked. While M faces challenges to her authority and position from Gareth Mallory, the new Chairman of the Intelligence and Security Committee, it's up to Bond, aided only by field agent Eve, to locate the mastermind behind the attack.

Q Planes

In England, an eccentric police inspector, an earnest test pilot and a spunky female reporter team up to solve the mystery of a series of test aircraft which have disappeared without a trace while over the ocean on their maiden flights; unaware, as they are, that a spy ring has been shooting the planes down with a ray machine hidden aboard a salvage vessel which is on hand to haul the downed aircraft aboard, crews and all.

The Inhabited Island 2: Rebellion

Maxim Kammerer fights for his love and freedom. He leads a rebel movement challenging the five greedy rulers. One of the rulers, Strannik, knows how dangerous Maxim can be. He makes up his mind to stop the young man at any cost. The last close fight will decide everything.

How to Seduce Your Teacher

There's a new girl in school, Angela, the Headmaster's neice. Every male will try to seduce her, even her uncle. Meanwhile she will drive the philosophy's teacher mad and her best friend Irma will have a good time with the classmates. Will they get the grades?

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An unknown girl breaks out of her daily grind by undergoing an intense audio-visual trip.

Carlito's Way

Free after years in prison, Carlito Brigante intends to give up his criminal ways, but it's not long before the ex-con is sucked back into the New York City underworld. Reconnecting with his dancer girlfriend, Carlito gets entangled in the shady dealings of his friend Dave Kleinfeld, who also serves as his lawyer. An encounter with shifty gangster Benny Blanco sets the duo on a dangerous path.

Jersey Boys

A musical biopic of the Four Seasons—the rise, the tough times and personal clashes, and the ultimate triumph of a group of friends whose music became symbolic of a generation. Far from a mere tribute concert, it gets to the heart of the relationships at the centre of the group, with a special focus on frontman Frankie Valli, the small kid with the big falsetto.

Close Range

A rogue soldier turned outlaw is thrust into a relentless fight with a corrupt sheriff, his obedient deputies, and a dangerous drug cartel in order to protect his sister and her young daughter.

V2: Dead Angel

The tough Detective Vares, get hired by a friend accused of murdering a girl. His job is to find the real killer, but people aren't talking. Before he can get traction another homicide takes place- and things move toward a dire conclusion.

My Friends Act III

This time the "amici" (friends) are just four: Necchi, Meandri, Mascetti and Sassaroli. Nevertheless they are older they still love to spend their time mainly organizing irresistible jokes to everyone in every kind of situation. Mascetti is hospitalized in a geriatric clinic. Of course the place become immediately the main stage for all their jokes. After some jokes they decided to place an ultimate incredible and farcical joke to the clinic guests.

The Square

The Square looks at the hard realities faced day-to-day by people working to build Egypt’s new democracy. Cairo’s Tahrir Square is the heart and soul of the film, which follows several young activists. Armed with values, determination, music, humor, an abundance of social media, and sheer obstinacy, they know that the thorny path to democracy only began with Hosni Mubarak’s fall. The life-and-death struggle between the people and the power of the state is still playing out.

Beauty and the Beast

The story of a gentle-hearted beast in love with a simple and beautiful girl. She is drawn to the repellent but strangely fascinating Beast, who tests her fidelity by giving her a key, telling her that if she doesn't return it to him by a specific time, he will die of grief. She is unable to return the key on time, but it is revealed that the Beast is the genuinely handsome one. A simple tale of tragic love that turns into a surreal vision of death, desire, and beauty.

Enemies Closer

After a major shipment of drugs goes missing on the US-Canadian border, forest ranger and former Navy SEAL Henry is plunged into survival mode when the drug cartel forces him to help retrieve the downed package. Trapped in the wilderness with no communication to the outside world, Henry finds himself face to face with Clay, a man with a personal vendetta against Henry who has returned for retribution. Now, the two mortal enemies must make a choice: put aside their past and work together, or die alone at the hands of the drug runners, a ruthless gang who will stop at nothing to retrieve their lost cargo.

The Prince

A family man who turns out to be a retired mob enforcer must travel across the country to find his daughter who has gone missing.

Red

A married woman with a lovely daughter lives a carefree life, until she meets her ex-lover at a friend’s wedding. They haven’t seen each other in ten years, but they begin an affair.

World of Warcraft: Looking For Group

An all-new documentary celebrating 10 years of adventure, camaraderie, and /dancing on mailboxes all around Azeroth. Explore the history of WoW with its creators, and journey into corners of Blizzard and the WoW community you’ve never seen before.

Armour of God 3: Chinese Zodiac

Asian Hawk leads a mercenary team to recover several lost artifacts from the Old Summer Palace, the bronze heads of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals which were sacked by the French and British armies from the imperial Summer Palace in Beijing in 1860. Assisted by a Chinese student and a Parisian woman, Hawk stops at nothing to accomplish the mission.

Jack Irish: Bad Debts

Jack Irish is a man getting his life back together again. A former criminal lawyer whose world imploded, he now spends his days as a part-time investigator, debt collector, apprentice cabinet maker, punter and sometime lover - the complete man really. Jack is an expert in finding those who don't want to be found - dead or alive. He helps out his mates while avoiding the past. That is until the past finds him.

Brute Wanted

A tall, shy and reserved young actor accidentally signs himself up for a wrestling match.

Stuart Little

When the Littles adopt Stuart, the mouse, George is initially unwelcoming to his new brother, and the family cat, Snowbell, is even less enthusiastic. Stuart resolves to face these difficulties with as much pluck and courage as he can muster.

Rita Ou Rito?

Peixe-de-Espada (literally, sword-fish), a retired Army colonel, his wife and nubile daughter are spending their holidays at the Palace Hotel, in the company of a lady doctor, Doctor Pilulas (literally, pills). He tells tall-tales of his African adventures, and she finds ways to promote the excellency of the pills of her own fabrication. To spend some time with Gabriela, his girlfriend, Rito appears disguised as a woman, pretending to be the new post-office operator. Desguises will come and go, and all ends well after a turmoil of twisted plots.

Blues Brothers 2000

Finally released from prison, Elwood Blues is once again enlisted by Sister Mary Stigmata in her latest crusade to raise funds for a children's hospital. Hitting the road to re-unite the band and win the big prize at the New Orleans Battle of the Bands, Elwood is pursued cross-country by the cops.

The Tin Man

Thelma and Patsy find themselves in a spooky house inhabited by a nut who is a mechanical genius and has made a robot who does everything. The inventor manipulates the robot's control board from a hidden room. The girls are soon in a panic. Patsy gets into an argument with the robot and loses the match of wits. Blackie Burke, an escaped convict, is using the house as a hideout, and this adds to the problems the girls already have.

Norbit

A mild-mannered guy who is engaged to a monstrous woman meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.

Problem Child

Ben Healy and his social climbing wife Flo adopt fun-loving seven year old Junior. But they soon discover he's a little monster as he turns a camping trip, a birthday party and even a baseball game into comic nightmares.

Big Buck Bunny

Follow a day of the life of Big Buck Bunny when he meets three bullying rodents: Frank, Rinky, and Gamera. The rodents amuse themselves by harassing helpless creatures by throwing fruits, nuts and rocks at them. After the deaths of two of Bunny's favorite butterflies, and an offensive attack on Bunny himself, Bunny sets aside his gentle nature and orchestrates a complex plan for revenge.

Twins

Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a south seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks.

August Rush

Lyla and Louis, a singer and a musician, fall in love, but are soon compelled to separate. Lyla is forced to give up her newborn but unknown to her, he grows up to become a musical genius.

Nacho Libre

Ignacio, a disrespected cook at a Mexican monastery, can barely afford to feed the orphans who live there. Inspired by a local wrestling hero, he decides to moonlight as the not-so-famous Luchador "Nacho Libre" to earn money for the monastery -- not to mention the admiration of beautiful nun Sister Encarnación.

Robot Wrecks

Spanky and the gang discover a demonstration of a "human-like" robot named Volto and are inspired to create a robot themselves to do their chores for them. Slicker Walburn convinces them they will need "invisible rays" to bring it to life which he just happens to have to sell to them. As they rush off to get their money, Slicker gets Boxcar Smith to wear the robot's outer body so when he "brings" the robot to life, it will be Boxcar bringing it to life. The gang unsuspectedly gets their robot to mow the lawn at Froggy's house, but with a signal from Slicker, Boxcar runs amok and mows down everything in his path. Froggy gets to explain what happened to his parents who bust up the fraud and get the miscreants to work with the gang to clean up the mess.

Holding the Air

The story of a war-orphan, who remembers first post-war days, his stay in Home for war-orphans, his teachers, friends, and mostly his "only brother".

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi is nibbling the grass, unaware of the upcoming encounter with Godzilla. Who will win when they finally meet? Preserved by the Academy Film Archive in 2009.

Flirting with Disaster

Adopted as a child, new father Mel Colpin decides he cannot name his son until he knows his birth parents, and determines to make a cross-country quest to find them. Accompanied by his wife, Nancy, and an inept yet gorgeous adoption agent, Tina, he departs on an epic road trip that quickly devolves into a farce of mistaken identities, wrong turns, and overzealous and love-struck ATF agents.

Johnny Express

In the year 2150, Johnny, a lazy Space Delivery Man, must deliver a package on a planet he does not fully understand.

Ce qui me meut

The life of Etienne-Jules Marey, the 19th century pioneer of photography and cinema, famous for studying animal and human locomotion.

Robin and the 7 Hoods

Set in Prohibition era Chicago, bootlegger Robbo and his cronies refuse to pay the greedy Guy Gisborne a cut of their profits after Guy shoots mob boss Big Jim and takes over. When Big Jim's daughter, Marian, gives Robbo a large sum, believing he has avenged her father's death, the gangster donates to an orphanage, cementing his reputation as a softhearted hood.

Modern Inventions

Donald Duck goes to a museum of modern inventions. After getting in without paying, he meets a robot butler who takes Donald's hat every time he sees him. Donald is very annoyed by this and magically fixes himself a new hat every time this happens and strolls on. Ignoring the sign not to touch it, Donald starts playing with a wrapping machine and ends up being wrapped himself. He also encounters and tries out a robot nursemaid and a fully automatic barber chair. They both don't do him much good.

The Tortoise and the Hare

The Tortoise and the Hare is an animated short film released on January 5, 1935 by United Artists, produced by Walt Disney and directed by Wilfred Jackson. Based on an Aesop's fable of the same name, The Tortoise and the Hare won the 1934 Academy Award for Best Short Subject: Cartoons. This cartoon is also believed to be one of the influences for Bugs Bunny.

The Golden Touch

King Midas is visited by an elf; the elf turns his cat to gold, then claps his hands and it changes back. Midas begs for the golden touch, but the elf warns him it would be a curse to him. Midas insists. He dances about joyfully at first, but discovers the drawbacks when he sits down to dinner. Fearing death by starvation, he summons the elf and agrees to surrender everything he owns to have the curse lifted.

Corn Chips

Donald is shoveling the snow off his walk; Chip 'n' Dale are shoveling their branch. Donald tricks them into shoveling his walk. Angered, they sneak into his house, where he's getting ready to make popcorn. They've never seen this before, but they love it. They stow away in the box, then make off with the bowl of popped corn.

Laughing Gas

Although only a dental assistant, Charlie pretends to be the dentist. After receiving too much anesthesia, a patient can't stop laughing, so Charlie knocks him out with a club.

Mabel's Busy Day

Mabel tries to sell hot dogs at a car race, but isn't doing a very good job at it. She sets down the box of hot dogs and leaves them for a moment. Charlie finds them and gives them away to the hungry spectators at the track as Mabel frantically tries to find her lost box of hot dogs. Mabel finds out that Charlie has stolen them and sends the police after him. Chaos ensues.

Mabel's Strange Predicament

A tramp gets drunk in a hotel lobby and, upstairs, causes some misunderstandings between Mabel, two hotel guests across the hall from her room, and Mabel's visiting sweetheart.

The Fatal Mallet

Three men compete for the attentions of a pretty girl. One of them, a little tramp, plays dirty.

The Masquerader

Charlie plays an actor who bungles several scenes and is kicked out. He returns convincingly dressed as a lady and charms the director, but Charlie never makes it into the film.

The New Janitor

The hero, a janitor played by Chaplin, is fired from work for accidentally knocking his bucket of water out the window and onto his boss the chief banker (Tandy). Meanwhile, one of the junior managers (Dillon) is being threatened with exposure by his bookie for gambling debts unpaid. Thus the manager decides to steal from the company.

Disorder in the Court

The Stooges are key witnesses at a murder trial. Their friend Gail Tempest, who dances at the Black Bottom cafe where the Stooges are musicians, is accused of killing Kirk Robin.

My Wrongs #8245–8249 & 117

An unnamed man is house-sitting for his friend Imogen. Imogen calls to remind him to take her dog Rothko for a walk, but Rothko takes him for a walk instead.

Kick the Cock

Kick the Cock is an old Dutch saying, meaning Peek in the Kitchen.

Lazarus Lives

Mortals’ greatest fear is the fear of death. Lazarus Lives gives assurance that Jesus has all power over death. Jesus mourns Lazarus’ death and His friends witness the deep love He has for His friends. Martha and Mary’s tears of sorrow change to joy when their brother Lazarus’ life is restored and they understand the Savior’s promise of eternal life to all who believe in Jesus.

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon

From Richard Gale, mad maker of CRITICIZED, comes a film that will never have you looking at cutlery the same way again. Set-up as an epic-length trailer for an upcoming release, HORRIBLY SLOW... depicts a man's endless pursuit by what has got to be one of the most determined and patient murderers the screen has ever seen.

The Reunion Dinner

The Reunion Dinner depicts one Singaporean family’s celebration of Chinese New Year from the 1960s to present day. They may adapt their traditions to the country’s modernisation, but this does not change: celebrating with loved ones over a shared meal.

Frankenweenie

When young Victor's pet dog Sparky (who stars in Victor's home-made monster movies) is hit by a car, Victor decides to bring him back to life the only way he knows how. But when the bolt-necked "monster" wreaks havoc and terror in the hearts of Victor's neighbors, he has to convince them (and his parents) that despite his appearance, Sparky's still the good loyal friend he's always been.

A Slight Case of Murder

Former bootlegger Remy Marco has a slight problem with foreclosing bankers, a prospective son-in-law, and four hard-to-explain corpses.

Judas & Jesus

Judas is the hero and Jesus is the villain in this lewd retelling of the classic Bible story. Depicted through anthropomorphic animals, we see a unique alternative perspective. Judas (an unscrupulous black goat) has been at odds with Jesus (a self-righteous white sheep) ever since childhood. However, when an opportunity arises to sell Jesus out for the 30 Euros he needs to get into Maria Magdalena's sex show, things finally seem to start going Judas' way. But what will Jesus' adoring fans have to say about it?

45 Fathers

An orphan girl becomes adopted by a group of old men and is placed in the home of one of them. She sings and dances and helps out where she can.

The Adventurer

The daring convict no. 23, known as The Eel, escapes from prison and, after mocking his inept persecutors, saves the lives of three people in peril: a beautiful girl, her mother and an annoying suitor, only to get exhausted and almost drowned. Once he regains his strength at Judge Brown's home, he participates on an upper-class social party where he competes with the suitor for the favors of the charming Miss Brown. But prison guards are still after him…

Lost and Found

A magical tale of friendship and loneliness, which tells the story of a little boy who one day finds a penguin on his doorstep. Although at first he is unsure what to do, the boy becomes determined to help the penguin find his way back home... even if that means rowing all the way to the South Pole!

B.O.B.'s Big Break

Dr. Cockroach comes up with a brilliant plan to break themselves out of Area 52 – but to implement the plan, he has to trick B.O.B. into thinking it’s his birthday.

Take a Chance

It's a classic boy-meets-girl story, boy-loses-girl, boy gets mistaken for an escaped convict and ruthlessly chased by armies of cops across the countryside in a thrill-packed stunt-addled climax.

A Chipmunk Christmas

Alvin learns the true meaning of Christmas.

The Savior in America

In the years following the sign of Jesus’ birth the Nephites grow wicked. Then a great storm and earthquakes ravage the land, followed by three days of darkness. When hope seems lost, the resurrected Savior appears in glory to the Nephites. He ministers, preaches, and calls disciples to His work. His perfect love and teachings cause the Nephites to be spiritually changed and live peacefully.

Ammon, Missionary to the Lamanites

Ammon, one of the sons of Mosiah, forsakes kingship to become a missionary to the Nephites’ mortal enemy, the Lamanites. Ammon shows great humility as he asks to become servant to the Lamanite king, Lamoni. Later, Ammon defends the king’s flocks against a band of robbers. His faithful example brings Ammon the opportunity to preach unto the king, bringing him and many others to humility, repentance and conversion.

Journey to the Promised Land

Lehi and his family, led by the Liahona, arrive to the shores of a great sea after traveling far from Jerusalem. Nephi, son of Lehi, is commanded by the Lord to build a ship. They practice faith and obedience to overcome every obstacle and sail to the Promised Land. Witness their gratitude as they kneel on the shore of their new home and give thanks to God for the successful journey.

Alma the Younger

Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah rebel against their parents and work to destroy the church of Christ. In answer to their parents’ prayers, they are visited by an angel. Alma is struck as if dead and his soul suffers the torment of sin. Alma later awakes as new person, converted by the mercy of Jesus Christ. Alma and Mosiah’s sons become the greatest missionaries in the Book of Mormon. Mosiah 26–28; and Alma 36.

Abinadi and King Noah

Abinadi courageously stands before wicked King Noah and his evil priests, calling them to repentance and testifying of Christ. Though Abinadi is killed after fulfilling this mission, his words touch Alma’s heart. Alma, one of the priests, repents and soon brings many people to the waters of baptism as a missionary of the coming Christ. Will these true believers also escape persecution from King Noah?

He is Risen

He is Risen is the story of the greatest miracle of all, the resurrection and ascension of Jesus. Sorrow and despair at the Lord’s crucifixion become complete joy and love as the disciples behold their resurrected Master three days later. The events of the real story of Easter teach of the atonement and resurrection, providing hope to Christians around the world.