Small Talk (1929)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

The Wild Soccer Bunch 5

"The Wild Soccer Bunch" celebrate their last victory against the "Silver Lights" - and set one record in volley-pass game after another in the forest. But they are not alone: Vampires target the team. To lure them into their bunker, they kidnap Leon. Will Vanessa ever see him again?

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion

A strange meteor lands in Japan and unleashes hundreds of insect-like "Legion" creatures bent on colonizing the Earth. When the military fails to control the situation, Gamera shows up to deal with the ever-evolving space adversary. However the battle may result in Gamera losing his bond with both Asagi and humanity.

Umudumuz Şaban

Plot unavailable

Waking Ned

When a lottery winner dies of shock, his fellow townsfolk attempt to claim the money.

Vera and the Pleasure of Others

Seventeen-year-old Vera earns money by secretly renting out an apartment to teenagers seeking privacy, all while eavesdropping from behind a closed door. As she listens, her own desires awaken.

The Machine Girl

The life of a young, Japanese schoolgirl is destroyed when her family is killed by a Ninja-Yakuza family. Her hand cut off, she replaces it with various machines-of-death, and seeks revenge.

Marvel One-Shot: Item 47

Benny and Claire, a down-on-their-luck couple, find a discarded Chitauri weapon referred to as 'Item 47'.

13 Tzameti

Sebastian, a young man, has decided to follow instructions intended for someone else, without knowing where they will take him. Something else he does not know is that Gerard Dorez, a cop on a knife-edge, is tailing him. When he reaches his destination, Sebastian falls into a degenerate, clandestine world of mental chaos behind closed doors in which men gamble on the lives of others men.

Hard Luck

A down on his luck young man makes several attempts at committing suicide but fails them too. He then finds himself becoming more confident through a series of petty adventures, to such an extent that this becomes his undoing.

Stalingrad

A German Platoon is explored through the brutal fighting of the Battle of Stalingrad. After half of their number is wiped out and they're placed under the command of a sadistic captain, the platoon lieutenant leads his men to desert. The platoon members attempt escape from the city, now surrounded by the Soviet Army.

Soulless 2

Max Andreev thought the best place to start a new life would be at the other end of the world. What he didn't know, is that you can't outrun your past.

Montana

In the mean streets of London's East End, a former Serbian commando and a fourteen-year old boy plot revenge against a powerful crime lord and his ruthless lieutenants. As our heroes prepare to take on their enemies, the boy is mentored in the dark arts of assassination and learns the true meaning of friendship, honor and respect.

Angelique and the Sultan

Angélique is in a North African Muslim kingdom where she is now part of the Sultan's harem. She refuses to be bedded as her captors try to beat sense into her. She finally decides to escape with the help of two Christian prisoners.

Puppet Master II

A new team of paranormal researchers has come to the hotel to investigate its murder-soaked past; the puppets -- led by a new member, Torch -- shed some light on the matter, as they tunnel, burn, strangle and hook to survive.

Shotgun Stories

Shotgun Stories tracks a feud that erupts between two sets of half brothers following the death of their father. Set against the cotton fields and back roads of Southeast Arkansas, these brothers discover the lengths to which each will go to protect their family.

Police

Musa Rami, who has become a legend with his struggle against the mafia, is a police officer at homicide division. One day prior to celebrating his 63rd birthday, with a surprise party arranged by his family, he finds out that he has cancer and two months left before his death. In these two months, will he be able to fight against the mafia that has intensified its threats against his family and simultaneously reveal his deep love to Funda, who is a university student 40 years younger than him?

The United Monster Talent Agency

A short comedy spoof about Universal Monsters and their everyday unconventional work done at their very own talent agency for their movies.

Skyfall

When Bond's latest assignment goes gravely wrong, agents around the world are exposed and MI6 headquarters is attacked. While M faces challenges to her authority and position from Gareth Mallory, the new Chairman of the Intelligence and Security Committee, it's up to Bond, aided only by field agent Eve, to locate the mastermind behind the attack.

Q Planes

In England, an eccentric police inspector, an earnest test pilot and a spunky female reporter team up to solve the mystery of a series of test aircraft which have disappeared without a trace while over the ocean on their maiden flights; unaware, as they are, that a spy ring has been shooting the planes down with a ray machine hidden aboard a salvage vessel which is on hand to haul the downed aircraft aboard, crews and all.

The Inhabited Island 2: Rebellion

Maxim Kammerer fights for his love and freedom. He leads a rebel movement challenging the five greedy rulers. One of the rulers, Strannik, knows how dangerous Maxim can be. He makes up his mind to stop the young man at any cost. The last close fight will decide everything.

How to Seduce Your Teacher

There's a new girl in school, Angela, the Headmaster's neice. Every male will try to seduce her, even her uncle. Meanwhile she will drive the philosophy's teacher mad and her best friend Irma will have a good time with the classmates. Will they get the grades?

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An unknown girl breaks out of her daily grind by undergoing an intense audio-visual trip.

Carlito's Way

Free after years in prison, Carlito Brigante intends to give up his criminal ways, but it's not long before the ex-con is sucked back into the New York City underworld. Reconnecting with his dancer girlfriend, Carlito gets entangled in the shady dealings of his friend Dave Kleinfeld, who also serves as his lawyer. An encounter with shifty gangster Benny Blanco sets the duo on a dangerous path.

Jersey Boys

A musical biopic of the Four Seasons—the rise, the tough times and personal clashes, and the ultimate triumph of a group of friends whose music became symbolic of a generation. Far from a mere tribute concert, it gets to the heart of the relationships at the centre of the group, with a special focus on frontman Frankie Valli, the small kid with the big falsetto.

Close Range

A rogue soldier turned outlaw is thrust into a relentless fight with a corrupt sheriff, his obedient deputies, and a dangerous drug cartel in order to protect his sister and her young daughter.

V2: Dead Angel

The tough Detective Vares, get hired by a friend accused of murdering a girl. His job is to find the real killer, but people aren't talking. Before he can get traction another homicide takes place- and things move toward a dire conclusion.

My Friends Act III

This time the "amici" (friends) are just four: Necchi, Meandri, Mascetti and Sassaroli. Nevertheless they are older they still love to spend their time mainly organizing irresistible jokes to everyone in every kind of situation. Mascetti is hospitalized in a geriatric clinic. Of course the place become immediately the main stage for all their jokes. After some jokes they decided to place an ultimate incredible and farcical joke to the clinic guests.

The Square

The Square looks at the hard realities faced day-to-day by people working to build Egypt’s new democracy. Cairo’s Tahrir Square is the heart and soul of the film, which follows several young activists. Armed with values, determination, music, humor, an abundance of social media, and sheer obstinacy, they know that the thorny path to democracy only began with Hosni Mubarak’s fall. The life-and-death struggle between the people and the power of the state is still playing out.

Beauty and the Beast

The story of a gentle-hearted beast in love with a simple and beautiful girl. She is drawn to the repellent but strangely fascinating Beast, who tests her fidelity by giving her a key, telling her that if she doesn't return it to him by a specific time, he will die of grief. She is unable to return the key on time, but it is revealed that the Beast is the genuinely handsome one. A simple tale of tragic love that turns into a surreal vision of death, desire, and beauty.

Enemies Closer

After a major shipment of drugs goes missing on the US-Canadian border, forest ranger and former Navy SEAL Henry is plunged into survival mode when the drug cartel forces him to help retrieve the downed package. Trapped in the wilderness with no communication to the outside world, Henry finds himself face to face with Clay, a man with a personal vendetta against Henry who has returned for retribution. Now, the two mortal enemies must make a choice: put aside their past and work together, or die alone at the hands of the drug runners, a ruthless gang who will stop at nothing to retrieve their lost cargo.

The Prince

A family man who turns out to be a retired mob enforcer must travel across the country to find his daughter who has gone missing.

Red

A married woman with a lovely daughter lives a carefree life, until she meets her ex-lover at a friend’s wedding. They haven’t seen each other in ten years, but they begin an affair.

World of Warcraft: Looking For Group

An all-new documentary celebrating 10 years of adventure, camaraderie, and /dancing on mailboxes all around Azeroth. Explore the history of WoW with its creators, and journey into corners of Blizzard and the WoW community you’ve never seen before.

Armour of God 3: Chinese Zodiac

Asian Hawk leads a mercenary team to recover several lost artifacts from the Old Summer Palace, the bronze heads of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals which were sacked by the French and British armies from the imperial Summer Palace in Beijing in 1860. Assisted by a Chinese student and a Parisian woman, Hawk stops at nothing to accomplish the mission.

Jack Irish: Bad Debts

Jack Irish is a man getting his life back together again. A former criminal lawyer whose world imploded, he now spends his days as a part-time investigator, debt collector, apprentice cabinet maker, punter and sometime lover - the complete man really. Jack is an expert in finding those who don't want to be found - dead or alive. He helps out his mates while avoiding the past. That is until the past finds him.

Party Fever

Alfalfa, Butch and Waldo compete for Mayor For A Day. Whoever becomes Mayor gets to take Darla to the Strawberry Festival.

Paul Bunyan

A retelling of the classic Canadian / American tall tale of the enormous lumberjack and his loyal companion, an equally huge blue ox.

Number, Please?

While at an amusement park, trying vainly to forget the girl he has lost, a young man sees the girl with her new boyfriend. When her dog gets loose in the park, both suitors have to help her catch it. Then, the girl's uncle, a balloonist, gives her a pass for two in his balloon, provided that her mother approves. She then offers to take along the first of her admirers who is able to get her mother's consent.

The Righteous Judge

The Righteous Judge recreates the events that surround Jesus in teaching the principles of love, forgiveness and righteous judgment. In the story of the adulteress Jesus confronts the Pharisees with the simple phrase, “let him without sin cast the first stone,” and thereby teaches us of God’s immense mercy and grace. Caiaphas, who unrighteously judges a blind man sinful, is contrasted against the gratitude of the blind man when Jesus freely heals him.

The Lost is Found

Those who recognize their own sins often rejoice that Jesus would want to help anyone so lost. Three such sinners come to Jesus in need of hope, healing and forgiveness. Weaving together many New Testament stories, this tale shows how Jesus generously extends His mercy to each sinner and lovingly brings the repentant back to the fold.

Zero for Conduct

In a repressive boarding school with rigid rules of behavior, four boys decide to rebel against the director on a celebration day.

A Day in the Country

The family of a Parisian shop-owner spends a day in the country. The daughter falls in love with a man at the inn, where they spend the day.

My Mom Is an Airplane!

A young boy imagines his mother to be an airplane who travels to exotic lands.

The Cat's Meow

Mild-mannered Harry gets roughed up by a slum gang. Later he returns as a cop to see that justice is done.

The Idle Class

At an upper class golf resort, a tramp discovers he's the lookalike of a rich man with a beautiful, unhappy wife.

The Champion

Walking along with his bulldog, Charlie finds a "good luck" horseshoe just as he passes a training camp advertising for a boxing partner "who can take a beating." After watching others lose, Charlie puts the horseshoe in his glove and wins. The trainer prepares Charlie to fight the world champion. A gambler wants Charlie to throw the fight. He and the trainer's daughter fall in love.

Nacho Libre

Ignacio, a disrespected cook at a Mexican monastery, can barely afford to feed the orphans who live there. Inspired by a local wrestling hero, he decides to moonlight as the not-so-famous Luchador "Nacho Libre" to earn money for the monastery -- not to mention the admiration of beautiful nun Sister Encarnación.

Blues Brothers 2000

Finally released from prison, Elwood Blues is once again enlisted by Sister Mary Stigmata in her latest crusade to raise funds for a children's hospital. Hitting the road to re-unite the band and win the big prize at the New Orleans Battle of the Bands, Elwood is pursued cross-country by the cops.

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi is nibbling the grass, unaware of the upcoming encounter with Godzilla. Who will win when they finally meet? Preserved by the Academy Film Archive in 2009.

Robot Wrecks

Spanky and the gang discover a demonstration of a "human-like" robot named Volto and are inspired to create a robot themselves to do their chores for them. Slicker Walburn convinces them they will need "invisible rays" to bring it to life which he just happens to have to sell to them. As they rush off to get their money, Slicker gets Boxcar Smith to wear the robot's outer body so when he "brings" the robot to life, it will be Boxcar bringing it to life. The gang unsuspectedly gets their robot to mow the lawn at Froggy's house, but with a signal from Slicker, Boxcar runs amok and mows down everything in his path. Froggy gets to explain what happened to his parents who bust up the fraud and get the miscreants to work with the gang to clean up the mess.

Johnny Express

In the year 2150, Johnny, a lazy Space Delivery Man, must deliver a package on a planet he does not fully understand.

Ce qui me meut

The life of Etienne-Jules Marey, the 19th century pioneer of photography and cinema, famous for studying animal and human locomotion.

Rita Ou Rito?

Peixe-de-Espada (literally, sword-fish), a retired Army colonel, his wife and nubile daughter are spending their holidays at the Palace Hotel, in the company of a lady doctor, Doctor Pilulas (literally, pills). He tells tall-tales of his African adventures, and she finds ways to promote the excellency of the pills of her own fabrication. To spend some time with Gabriela, his girlfriend, Rito appears disguised as a woman, pretending to be the new post-office operator. Desguises will come and go, and all ends well after a turmoil of twisted plots.

Mickey's Christmas Carol

Ebenezer Scrooge is far too greedy to understand that Christmas is a time for kindness and generosity. But with the guidance of some new found friends, Scrooge learns to embrace the spirit of the season. A retelling of the classic Dickens tale with Disney's classic characters.

The BFG

Sophie is snatched from her orphanage early one morning by the BFG (Big Friendly Giant), whom she witnesses engaged in mysterious activities. She is soon put at ease, as she learns that BFG's job is to collect, catalog and deliver pleasant dreams to children. She joins him that night, but a mean giants follow them, planning to eat the children of the world.

Robin and the 7 Hoods

Set in Prohibition era Chicago, bootlegger Robbo and his cronies refuse to pay the greedy Guy Gisborne a cut of their profits after Guy shoots mob boss Big Jim and takes over. When Big Jim's daughter, Marian, gives Robbo a large sum, believing he has avenged her father's death, the gangster donates to an orphanage, cementing his reputation as a softhearted hood.

Puff, the Magic Dragon

Jackie is a boy who is so trapped by his fears and doubts that he could not communicate with anyone. Then, a magic dragon named Puff comes to help Jackie by taking his soul force on a wonderous voyage to his island of Honah Lee. Along the way, they have adventures that nurture Jackie's imagination and courage in unorthodox ways.

Despicable Me

Villainous Gru lives up to his reputation as a despicable, deplorable and downright unlikable guy when he hatches a plan to steal the moon from the sky. But he has a tough time staying on task after three orphans land in his care.

The Whoopee Boys

Two obnoxious and dim-witted misfits attempt to save a school for needy children by attempting to sneak into the wealthy high society of Palm Beach to get the money needed for their cause.

Gone Nutty

Scrat tries to finish his rather large collection of acorns when things start going nutty.

One Week

Newlyweds receive a build-it-yourself house as a wedding gift—and the house can, supposedly, be built in "one week". A rejected suitor secretly re-numbers packing crates, and the husband struggles to assemble the house according to this new 'arrangement' of its parts.

Christmas Is Here Again

When the evil Krad steals Santa's toy bag, he crushes the holiday spirit- and over time, the world's children forget all about Christmas. Now, a wide-eyed orphan and her band of friends will embark on the polar adventure of a lifetime, as they try to stop Krad from destroying Christmas once and for all!

Six Shooter

Overwhelmed by grief following the death of his wife, Donnelly shares a train carriage home with a troubled young man identified only as the 'Kid'. As the Kid becomes more agitated and foul-mouthed, the journey takes on a violent and dangerous hue – for the bereaved Donnelly and for other hapless passengers on the train. Academy Award Winner: Best Live Action Short Film – 2005

Take a Chance

It's a classic boy-meets-girl story, boy-loses-girl, boy gets mistaken for an escaped convict and ruthlessly chased by armies of cops across the countryside in a thrill-packed stunt-addled climax.

A Chipmunk Christmas

Alvin learns the true meaning of Christmas.

My Wrongs #8245–8249 & 117

An unnamed man is house-sitting for his friend Imogen. Imogen calls to remind him to take her dog Rothko for a walk, but Rothko takes him for a walk instead.

The Little Princess

A little girl goes in search of her father who is reported missing by the military during the Second Boer War.

Between Showers

Mr. Snookie steals an umbrella and then, while trying to help a woman to cross a puddle, the Tramp appears and intervenes.

Cruel, Cruel Love

This early Chaplin film has him playing a character quite different from the Tramp for which he would become famous. He is a rich, upper-class gentleman whose romance is endangered when his girlfriend oversees him being embraced by a maid. Chaplin's romantic interest in this film, Minta Durfee, was the wife of fellow Keystone actor, Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle.

Dough and Dynamite

Pierre and Jacques are working as waiters at a restaurant where the cooks go on strike. When the two are forced to work as bakers, the striking cooks put dynamite in the dough, with explosive results.

Kid Auto Races at Venice

The Tramp interferes with the celebration of several kid auto races in Venice, California (Junior Vanderbilt Cup Race, January 10 and 11, 1914), standing himself in the way of the cameraman who is filming the event.

Laughing Gas

Although only a dental assistant, Charlie pretends to be the dentist. After receiving too much anesthesia, a patient can't stop laughing, so Charlie knocks him out with a club.

Mabel's Busy Day

Mabel tries to sell hot dogs at a car race, but isn't doing a very good job at it. She sets down the box of hot dogs and leaves them for a moment. Charlie finds them and gives them away to the hungry spectators at the track as Mabel frantically tries to find her lost box of hot dogs. Mabel finds out that Charlie has stolen them and sends the police after him. Chaos ensues.

Mabel's Strange Predicament

A tramp gets drunk in a hotel lobby and, upstairs, causes some misunderstandings between Mabel, two hotel guests across the hall from her room, and Mabel's visiting sweetheart.

The Fatal Mallet

Three men compete for the attentions of a pretty girl. One of them, a little tramp, plays dirty.

The Masquerader

Charlie plays an actor who bungles several scenes and is kicked out. He returns convincingly dressed as a lady and charms the director, but Charlie never makes it into the film.

The New Janitor

The hero, a janitor played by Chaplin, is fired from work for accidentally knocking his bucket of water out the window and onto his boss the chief banker (Tandy). Meanwhile, one of the junior managers (Dillon) is being threatened with exposure by his bookie for gambling debts unpaid. Thus the manager decides to steal from the company.

Disorder in the Court

The Stooges are key witnesses at a murder trial. Their friend Gail Tempest, who dances at the Black Bottom cafe where the Stooges are musicians, is accused of killing Kirk Robin.

B.O.B.'s Big Break

Dr. Cockroach comes up with a brilliant plan to break themselves out of Area 52 – but to implement the plan, he has to trick B.O.B. into thinking it’s his birthday.

Kick the Cock

Kick the Cock is an old Dutch saying, meaning Peek in the Kitchen.

Blue Miracle

To save their cash-strapped orphanage, a guardian and his kids partner with a washed-up boat captain for a chance to win a lucrative fishing competition.

Like Mike

Calvin and his friends, who all live in an orphanage, find old shoes with the faded letters MJ connected to a powerline. One stormy night, they go to get the shoes when Calvin and the shoes are struck by lightning. Calvin now has unbelievable basketball powers and has the chance to play for the NBA.

Glad Rags to Riches

A girl has to decide who to marry: a poor country boy or a rich nightclub owner.

Surviving Sid

Sid the Sloth takes a school of children out on a camping trip from home, only to find that in typical Sid style, he is not a very good guide and the children he takes with him don't have a very good time.