the piss (2021)

the reviewer

the difficulties faced by a critic in a modern society

Ivan the Terrible, Part II: The Boyars' Plot

This is the second part of a projected three-part epic biopic of Russian Czar Ivan Grozny, undertaken by Soviet film-maker Sergei Eisenstein at the behest of Josef Stalin. Production of the epic was stopped before the third part could be filmed, due to producer dissatisfaction with Eisenstein's introducing forbidden experimental filming techniques into the material, more evident in this part than the first part. As it was, this second part was banned from showings until after the deaths of both Eisenstein and Stalin, and a change of attitude by the subsequent heads of the Soviet government. In this part, as Ivan the Terrible attempts to consolidate his power by establishing a personal army, his political rivals, the Russian boyars, plot to assassinate him.

You're So Cupid

Fraternal twin sisters Emma and Lilly are as different as night and day. Emma, the beautiful blonde tomboy, would rather be riding a horse than anything else in the world. While Lilly, her shy redheaded twin, loves to be left alone to curl up with a good book. Emma and Lilly have an insatiable desire to play matchmaker, because their father is actually Cupid. Life gets complicated when they discover they're in love with the same guy and they become bitter rivals as they try to win his affection. But can Emma and Lily overcome their problems and use their matchmaking skills to bring their parents back together?

Scooby Goes Hollywood

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo quit their Saturday morning TV series in pursuit of Hollywood stardom.

Return from Witch Mountain

Tony and Tia are other-worldly twins endowed with telekinesis. When their Uncle Bene drops them off in Los Angeles for an earthbound vacation, a display of their supernatural skill catches the eye of the nefarious Dr. Gannon and his partner in crime, Letha, who see rich possibilities in harnessing the children's gifts. They kidnap Tony, and Tia gives chase only to find Gannon is using her brother's powers against her.

The Saragossa Manuscript

During the Napoleonic wars, a Spanish officer and an opposing officer find a book written by the former's grandfather.

Kingdom 2: Far and Away

It follows a young man who dreams of becoming a general and Ying Zheng, whose goal is unification.

Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Nights

Scooby-Doo and Shaggy travel to Arabia to become the Caliph's Royal Food Tasters. But they bite off more than they can chew and are forced to run for their lives! It's a wild magic carpet ride as Scooby-Doo, Shaggy and their genie (Yogi Bear) and a jolly sailor named Sinbad (Magilla Gorilla) take you on an adventure of mistaken identities, exotic locations and fun-filled action and surprises!

Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear's "All in the Family" and "The Jeffersons"

Celebrities re-create an original episode each from "All in the Family" and "The Jeffersons."

Scooby-Doo! Meets the Boo Brothers

After the death of Shaggy's Uncle Beaureguard, he, Scooby and Scrappy arrive at the late uncle's Southern plantation to collect the inheritance. But as soon as they arrive, they find it is haunted by the ghost of a Confederate soldier. With this spook on their tails while they solve riddles in search of the inheritance, they seek help from the Boo Brothers, a trio of ghost-exterminators to help catch this nasty ghoul.

Barbie as the Island Princess

Shipwrecked as a child, Rosella (Barbie) grows up on the island under the watchful eyes of her loving animal friends. The arrival of Prince Antonio leads Rosella and her furry pals to explore civilization and ultimately save the kingdom by uncovering a secret plot.

Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie

When their trip to San Lorenzo takes a turn for the worst, Arnold and his classmate’s only hope of getting home is retracing the dangerous path that led to Arnold's parents' disappearance.

Winx Club - Magic Adventure

School for fairies Alfea celebrates the inauguration of the new school year when the party is interrupted by Icy, Darcy and Stormy, the perfidious Trix. The Winx without Bloom, are forced to remedy the confusion created by the witches who, having ruined the party, steal a powerful and mysterious object. Meanwhile, Bloom is on Domino, which is experiencing the best moments of his new life as a princess. He finally found his parents and Sky asks her to marry him. But not all gold that glitters, the three Witches are Ancestors in fact come back to haunt Stella, Aisha, Tecna, Musa, Flora and Bloom. Moreover, Erendor, Sky's father, forbids his son to marry the princess of Domino. A dark secret lies in the realm of Eraklyon and now that Sky, the legitimate ruler of the kingdom, as known.

Balto III: Wings of Change

Balto and the other sled dogs are feeling dejected because the mail that used to be delivered by dogsled is now being delivered by airplanes. But when a mail plane crashes in the mountains, the dogs come to the rescue.

Howling III: The Marsupials

A strange race of human-like marsupials appear suddenly in Australia, and a sociologist who studies these creatures falls in love with a female one. Is this a dangerous combination?

1-Ichi

We follow Ichi during his high school years. Mr. Dai is the best fighter in school... whenever he fights Ichi is there and has a huge smile on his face. Mr. Dai thinks that Ichi is laughing at him but in fact he enjoys watching the violence that goes through the fights. Everyone is bullying, taunting and making fun of Ichi... even little kids from his karate class. Yet Ichi refuses to let go of his anger and fight others. Just when Mr. Dai is about to get Ichi, a new transfer student starts to make his own laws... by beating up everyone and breaking their bones! In a fight with the new student, Mr. Dai ends up on the ground, beaten and broken up from almost everywhere. It seems like this new guy wants to fight Ichi because supposedly he is the only one that could give him some challenge.

Monster High: Fright On!

See what happens when the student bodies of an all-vampire school and an all-werewolf school integrate with Monster High.

Party Central

Mike and Sulley are back at Monsters University for a fun-filled weekend with their Oozma Kappa fraternity brothers. The gang is throwing their first party, but no one’s showing up. Luckily for them, Mike and Sulley have come up with a plan to make sure “Party Central” is the most epic party the school has ever seen.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Spring Breakdown

The Equestria Girls spend their spring break on a yacht. It's Spring Break and the Mane 7 are about to board the most glorious yacht ever for a relaxing cruise. But Rainbow Dash is convinced that Equestrian Magic is on the loose and won't let anyone rest until she finds it.

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself in Seoul

Shot at the Olympic Stadium in Seoul during the BTS World Tour ‘Love Yourself’ to celebrate the seven members of the global boyband and their unprecedented international phenomenon.

Barbie Mariposa

Elina, heroine of the Fairytopia films tells her friend Bibble the story of Flutterfield, a faraway kingdom populated by fairies with butterfly wings. Henna, the evil butterfly fairy has poisoned the queen of Flutterfield in an attempt to take over the kingdom.

The Death and Return of Superman

The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen now presented as an over two-hour unabridged and seamless animated feature. Witness the no-holds-barred battle between the Justice League and an unstoppable alien force known only as Doomsday, a battle that only Superman can finish and will forever change the face of Metropolis.

Return to Zero

Based on the true story of a successful couple, Maggie and Aaron who are preparing for the arrival of their first child.

Python

After a military plane crashes outside of a small American town, its cargo — a genetically engineered, sixty-foot-long python — begins stalking and killing the locals.

Pokémon: Arceus and the Jewel of Life

When the creator of the world, Arceus, comes to pass judgement on humanity for the theft of the legendary Jewel of Life, Ash and his friends are sent back in time to possibly reverse the events that led to Arceus' vendetta.

Cloud 9

Set high atop snow-capped mountains in the adrenaline-fueled world of competitive snowboarding, the Disney Channel Original Movie “Cloud 9″ tells the inspiring story of two snowboarders who must overcome self-doubt to learn that achieving their dreams is possible.

Tarzan & Jane

With the first anniversary of her wedding to Tarzan beckoning, Jane ponders how to make it the perfect English celebration.

Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild

With school out for the summer, The Littles are vacationing in a cabin by the lake, and Stuart is so excited he could burst! But when Snowbell the cat is captured by a mean-spirited creature known simply as the Beast, it's up to Stuart and a skunk named Reeko to rescue him and a few other friends.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva la Fiesta!

When Papi, Chloe, the pups, Uncle Pedro, and their owners move to a hotel, the smallest pup Rosa feels like she doesn't fit in, and Papi wants to make her feel better by showing her how special she is.

Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead 4

In a devastated, post-apocalyptic world, all men have turned into rape demons. The only hope for the future is to travel to the past and prevent the outbreak, the source of which still remains a mystery.

Radio Rebel

High school senior Tara is so painfully shy that she dreads speaking to anyone in the hallways or getting called on in class. But in the privacy of her bedroom with her iPod in hand, she rocks out -- doing mock broadcasts for Miami's hottest FM radio station, which happens to be owned by her stepfather. When a slot opens up at The SLAM, Tara surprises herself by blossoming behind the mike into confident, "Radio Rebel" -- and to everyone's shock, she's a hit!

Bring the Soul: The Movie

A glimpse into K-pop group BTS’ world away from the stage, featuring intimate group discussions alongside spectacular concert performances from their world tour.

Scooby-Doo! Legend of the Phantosaur

A relaxing spa getaway evolves into a prehistoric panic when Scooby-Doo and the gang uncover the horrible Phantosaur, an ancient legend come to life to protect hidden treasures buried in secret desert caves. But this scare-a-saurus doesn’t stand a chance with Shaggy around, after he finds his inner hero with the help of new-age hypnosis. Like, it makes him more brave and less hungry!

Porky's Revenge

As graduation nears for the class of 1955 at Angel Beach High, the gang once again faces off against their old enemy, Porky, who wants them to throw the school's championship basketball game since he has bet on the opposing team.

Rock & Rule

A malevolent rock star kidnaps a female singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon and her band must help her stop him.

Bruce Lee: The Legend

The Official Golden Harvest tribute to the Master of the Martial Arts Film, Bruce Lee.

The Wizards Return: Alex vs. Alex

While trying to prove to her family she can be mature and responsible, teen wizard Alex Russo conjures up a spell to rid herself of her bad qualities, unintentionally creating a Good and Evil Alex. When Evil Alex gets involved in a plan to take over the world by a dark wizard, Good Alex must find a way to save her family, humankind, and ultimately herself in an epic Good vs. Evil battle.

The Wild Soccer Bunch 3

After Leon left his team in the historic 25-1 defeat against the national team, Die wilden Kerle broke up. Only the little Nerv still believes in his old heroes and tries to bring the grown-up guys back together with the help of his dreaded side puller. Leon's former best friend Fabi has meanwhile founded his own team, the girls' team, "The Beastly Beasts", and challenges "The Wild Soccer Bunch" to a duel in the Nattern Cave.

The King's Daughter

King Louis XIV's quest for immortality leads him to capture and steal a mermaid's life force, a move that is further complicated by his illegitimate daughter's discovery of the creature.