The Abandon (1996)

How It Feels

Over the past few months, less so now, I've been experiencing some fairly intense spouts of anxiety. Something incredibly new and quite frightening for me. After a bunch of CBT sessions, my therapist recommended channeling my experience into video form. So, here you are. With the help of the incredible Suli Breaks, I've made this little video. Trying to demonstrate how it felt for me. Hope you take something from it.

Desert Hearts

While waiting for her divorce papers, a repressed literature professor finds herself unexpectedly attracted by a carefree, spirited young woman named Cay.

Everything Is Illuminated

A young Jewish American man endeavors—with the help of eccentric, distant relatives—to find the woman who saved his grandfather during World War II—in a Ukrainian village which was ultimately razed by the Nazis.

Summer Storm

Tobi and Achim, the pride of the local crew club, have been the best of friends for years and are convinced that nothing will ever stand in the way of their friendship. They look forward to the upcoming summer camp and the crew competition. Then the gay team from Berlin arrives and Tobi is totally confused. The evening before the races begin, the storm that breaks out is more than meteor-logical.

Mala Noche

Walt is a lonely convenience store clerk who has fallen in love with a Mexican migrant worker named Johnny. Though Walt has little in common with the object of his affections — including a shared language — his desire to possess Johnny prompts a sexual awakening that results in taboo trysts and a tangled love triangle.

All That You Love

Travelling-Salesman Alfie Zimmer dreams of publishing a book about the graffiti he's encountered on his travels, but when the voices in his head start to get the better of him, he leaves the decision to go ahead with the publication up to fate and he may or may not come out alive.

Maybe... Maybe Not

The heterosexual man Axel is thrown out of his girlfriends home for cheating and ends up moving in with a gay man. Axel learns the advantages of living with gay men even though they are attracted to him and when his girlfriend wants him back he must make a tough decision.

The Party 2

A young French teenage girl after moving to a new city falls in love with a boy and is thinking of having sex with him because her girlfriends have already done it.

Antoine and Colette

Now aged 17, Antoine Doinel works in a factory which makes records. At a music concert, he meets a girl his own age, Colette, and falls in love with her. Later, Antoine goes to extraordinary lengths to please his new girlfriend and her parents, but Colette still only regards him as a casual friend. First segment of “Love at Twenty” (1962).

Jam Today

Robert is stuck on a boating holiday with his parents in the English countryside. Impatient to grow and become a man, an unexpected sight cracks his world open.

Eid Mubarak

A privileged six-year-old Pakistani girl embarks on a mission to save her beloved pet goat from being eaten on the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Azha, only to learn the meaning of sacrifice.

The Summer Field

After being drafted to a pro track team, a midwestern young teen needs to decide between his future career and his dementia-ridden grandfather.

Walk on Water

Eyal, an Israeli Mossad agent, is given the mission to track down and kill the very old Alfred Himmelman, an ex-Nazi officer, who might still be alive. Pretending to be a tourist guide, he befriends his grandson Axel, in Israel to visit his sister Pia. The two men set out on a tour of the country, during which Axel challenges Eyal's values.

Paradise Now

Two childhood friends are recruited for a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv.

Billy Elliot

County Durham, England, 1984. The miners' strike has started and the police have started coming up from Bethnal Green, starting a class war with the lower classes suffering. Caught in the middle of the conflict is 11-year old Billy Elliot, who, after leaving his boxing club for the day, stumbles upon a ballet class and finds out that he's naturally talented. He practices with his teacher Mrs. Wilkinson for an upcoming audition in Newcastle-upon Tyne for the royal Ballet school in London.

All About My Mother

Following the tragic death of her teenage son, Manuela travels from Madrid to Barcelona in an attempt to contact the long-estranged father the boy never knew. She reunites with an old friend, an outspoken transgender sex worker, and befriends a troubled actress and a pregnant, HIV-positive nun.

Summer's Tail

A small village in an island. Juyeon whose mom left her only cares about her best friend-Kyunghee. One day, a transfer student-Soyoung moves to her village and everything begins to be changed.

Maurice

After his lover rejects him, Maurice attempts to come to terms with his sexuality within the restrictiveness of Edwardian society.

The Pillow Book

A woman with a body writing fetish seeks to find a combined lover and calligrapher.

Wrecked

An edgy drama about a gay teen's tumultuous decent into drugs and anonymous sex, Wrecked smashes cinematic taboos while it spins its cautionary tale. Ryan is an earnest 18-year-old trying to develop a career as an actor and getting his life on the right track. This course is quickly threatened with the sudden arrival of his sort-of ex, Daniel, who arrives at Ryan's door wanting a place to stay.

Roles We Play

An older professor longing for motherhood must recalibrate her path to pregnancy when she realizes one of her favorite students is a potential sperm donor.

Canvas

After a heartbreaking loss, a grandfather struggling to reclaim his passion for painting finds the inspiration to create again.

Shank

Teenage gang member Cal, hides his sexuality from his fellow gang members despite their often violent dislike of anyone that isn't the same as them, be they unsuspecting shoppers, foreign students, gays, etc. When his world collides with Olivier, a student he rescues from a pointless beating, he encounters a lifestyle that presents as many new experiences as it does obstacles.

Fatima, Queen of the Night

Based on the short story of the same name by Miguel Barnet, in which Fatima - the Queen of the night, a young homosexual and transvestite, who is a prostitute to earn a living, and to maintain economically to the man whom he loves. While facing all the complexities arising from their decisions. Born in the provinces as Manuel García, nicknamed Manolito, to whom the Virgin of Fátima appeared as a child moves to the capital Havana where he meets and falls in love with Vaselina, who encourages him to cross-dress and start a new life in the world of entertainment and prostitution.

Vamoose

Raymond Dela Cruz leads a busy life, but after his world gets turned upside down, he can hardly focus on the things right in front of him...

TRAP by SEO IN GUK

Art is often an expression of rigorous focus. This story revolves around the internal pressures of the protagonist, and his attempt to escape his own mind and let out his imagination. An artist lives in a world they create, but sometimes fear can break us down.

Parasol

Life in a city is fast and draining. Feeling empty, a woman heads to a log cabin Parasol which her mother had left for her. Breathtaking lights, gentle breezes, and a warm fire. She pauses and catches the scent she had missed. They bring out her feelings about her mother.

World and Time Enough

Two men--a gay, HIV-positive artist and an adopted garbage collector--struggle in the face of stigma and loss to find meaning in work, love, and family.

Der Rand

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Every Waking Moment

Inspired by the true story of Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears, 'Every Waking Moment' is a snapshot in the lives of two musicians, a composer and a tenor, who must hide their forbidden love away from the eyes of the public.

Testosterone

Dean has been stumped for some time in his attempt to produce a follow-up to "I was a Teenage Speed Freak," his incredibly successful graphic novel. His fans expect great things from him and his editor, Louise, is hounding him. Instead of working, however, Dean spends his time searching for his Argentine lover Pablo, who went out one night for cigarettes and never came back.

A Walk in Winter

When Conrad returns to his hometown to identify his mother's body, he is forced to confront the painful memories of his childhood.

Kryo

A man who cheats death through the help of cryonics has to learn the hard way that death is a undeniable part of life.

Invisible Anguish

A lonely mature man lives alone while his son is working in another city. That mature man meets a young handsome boy. He gets the boy to stay with hi, but when his son suddenly comes home he is worried that his father is a gay.

The Finnster

Finn (15) is an uncomplicated schoolboy until one day, coming home from school, he catches his father Roelof in his moms dress. The man Finn has looked up to his whole life, wants to become a woman. Finn, just discovering his own sexuality, is troubled by this new discovery. A struggle with feelings of shame, love and loyalty follows. Luckily Lizzie, his newfound friend, is there to help him.

Hotel Paradijs

Every day Paul crosses a canal that separates the Amsterdam city center from the north side, where his lover Christiaan lives and waits for him. A dear routine for both - until one day Paul meets Claire, who starts seducing him into her very own universe, the Hotel Paradijs. Claire makes Paul the audience of her own play: a play where the roles are reversed and into which Paul is undeniably drawn.

You Like That

Lost in a hypersexual digital world, Joshua dreams of the kind of love he’s only read about in classic literature.

Adoration

Based on the real life story of Sagawa, a Japanese student who killed, dismembered and ate a young Dutch girl in Paris.

Who's Afraid of the Big Black Wolf?

1944. Somewhere in the occupied Central Europe. A multicultural triangle between a little shepherd and two officers from the opposite sides in a sensual and emotional Alpine story of two tunes and one whistle.

Darkroom

Lars, a male nurse from Saarbrücken, moves to Berlin with his lover, Roland. They begin to renovate an apartment and their happiness seems almost complete. What Roland doesn’t know is that, while secretly checking out Berlin’s night life, Lars is also experimenting with a deadly poison.

Fat Girl

Anaïs is twelve and bears the weight of the world on her shoulders. She watches her older sister, Elena, whom she both loves and hates. Elena is fifteen and devilishly beautiful. Neither more futile, nor more stupid than her younger sister, she cannot understand that she is merely an object of desire. And, as such, she can only be taken. Or had. Indeed, this is the subject: a girl's loss of virginity. And, that summer, it opens a door to tragedy.

Requiem for a Dream

The drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island residents are shattered when their addictions run deep.

Lovers of the Arctic Circle

Otto and Ana are kids when they meet each other. Their names are palindromes. They meet by chance, people are related by chance. A story of circular lives, with circular names, and a circular place where the day never ends in the midnight sun. There are things that never end, and Love is one of them.

Breakfast on Pluto

In the 1970s, a young transgender woman called “Kitten” leaves her small Irish town for London in search of love, acceptance, and her long-lost mother.

Imagine Me & You

During her wedding ceremony, Rachel notices Luce in the audience and feels instantly drawn to her. The two women become close friends, and when Rachel learns that Luce is a lesbian, she realizes that despite her happy marriage to Heck, she is falling for Luce. As she questions her sexual orientation, Rachel must decide between her stable relationship with Heck and her exhilarating new romance with Luce.

Thumbsucker

Justin Cobb, a teenager in suburban Oregon, copes with his thumb-sucking problem, romance, and his diagnosis with ADHD and subsequent experience using Ritalin.

Learning to Lie

18-year-old school boy Helmut falls in love with fellow pupil Britta. He starts working for a Peace movement to get to know Britta. Britta, however, suddenly moves to San Francisco to live with her father and whilst there, finds a new boyfriend. Helmut studies, literature and politics in his home town and have a relationship with another girl from his former school, now studying medicine at the same university but they break up after having an affair with her roommate. Helmut begins a lot of short affairs with different women but still searches for his first girl.

Expecting

An awkward dinner party among friends from an infertility support group takes an unexpected turn.

Illusione

During the 1950s, a Greek concert pianist meets the love of her life in Trieste, Italy. After they marry, she follows him to the United States -- where a cruel fate awaits her.

Daniel

Spooky stuff is afoot in a French school. All of a sudden, 10-year-old Daniel finds himself alone with Marthe – their encounter is both tender and troubling, and it seems to take place in a sort of vacuum. In Marine Atlan’s dream-like feature film debut, children dance tango timelessly, recite poems and do the drill for an imaginary terrorist attack.

Men of Hard Skin

Ariel is a good-looking farm boy who lives with his father and sister in a rural part of Buenos Aires province. He has become familiar with sex thanks to Omar, a priest with whom he has a secret affair.