Stranded (2015)

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Taj Mahal

One evening, while her parents go out for dinner, 18-year-old Louise, alone in her hotel room at Taj Mahal Mumbai, hears strange noises out in the corridor. Within minutes, she realises that a terrorist attack is underway. Her only connection to the outside world is her cell phone, which allows her to maintain contact with her father, who is desperately trying to reach her from the other side of a city that has been plunged into chaos. Louise must spend a long night alone in the face of danger. She will never be the same again.

The Test

What would you choose: be a little rich now, or wait ten years and be filthy rich? Could you wait this long? Why? And most importantly, could you come to terms with your life partner? The protagonists will have to choose between the possibility of opting for 100,000 euros at the present time or obtaining a million euros after ten years... Adaptation of the work by Jordi Vallejo.

Paper Birds

At the end of the Spanish Civil War, the members of a group of vaudeville performers have been stripped of everything: all they have left is hunger and the instinct to survive. Day after day, agonizingly, lost and helpless between the victors and the vanquished, the musician Jorge, the ventriloquist Enrique, the couplet singer Rocío and the orphan Miguel search tirelessly for something to eat and a safe place to live.

El Lute II: Tomorrow I'll Be Free

This is the story of a man fighting with all his might for his life and his freedom. Eleuterio (”El Lute”) embarks upon an action-packed future, fuelled by the notions of freedom and dreams of living just as his countrymen, ever-growing in his mind. Nothing and no-one can stop him. After escaping the Puerto de Santa María prison, the reunion with his family is just the beginning of what will become an endless escape.

The Flight Before Christmas

Two strangers who both happen to be in marketing, share a room at a bed-and-breakfast when a snowstorm strands their flight in Montana on Christmas Eve.

A Normal World

Ernesto learns that his mother has passed and yet worse that they plan to bury her in a graveyard. Determined to fulfill his late mum's wishes, he plans to steal the coffin.

Epic Movie

When the Pevensie siblings each follow their own path, they find themselves at Willy's Chocolate Factory. Walking through a wardrobe, they discover the world of Gnarnia, ruled by the White Bitch. Meeting up with characters such as Harry Potter and Captain Jack Swallows, the newly reunited family must team up with Aslo, a wise-but-horny lion to stop the White Bitch's army.

Concussion

A dramatic thriller based on the incredible true David vs. Goliath story of American immigrant Dr. Bennet Omalu, the brilliant forensic neuropathologist who made the first discovery of CTE, a football-related brain trauma, in a pro player and fought for the truth to be known. Omalu's emotional quest puts him at dangerous odds with one of the most powerful institutions in the world.

Knock Knock

When a devoted husband and father is left home alone for the weekend, two stranded young women unexpectedly knock on his door for help. What starts out as a kind gesture results in a dangerous seduction and a deadly game of cat and mouse.

The Witch

In 1630, a farmer relocates his family to a remote plot of land on the edge of a forest where strange, unsettling things happen. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, each family member's faith, loyalty and love are tested in shocking ways.

Red One

After Santa Claus (codename: Red One) is kidnapped, the North Pole's Head of Security must team up with the world's most infamous tracker in a globe-trotting, action-packed mission to save Christmas.

Charlotte Gray

This is a drama set in Nazi-occupied France at the height of World War II. Charlotte Gray tells the compelling story of a young Scottish woman working with the French Resistance in the hope of rescuing her lover, a missing RAF pilot. Based on the best-selling novel by Sebastian Faulks.

Detective Conan: Quarter of Silence

The explosion of a new Tokyo Subway line leads Conan and his friends in a snow-clad village. Here, after eight years, the little detective sheds light on the dynamics behind the shocking event that caused the death of a woman and the coma of a 15-year-old boy. Under the beautiful snow, Conan gets involved in something bigger than him.

Everything, Everything

A teenager who's lived a sheltered life because she's allergic to everything, falls for the boy who moves in next door.

Holidate

Fed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way.

It Feeds

A clairvoyant therapist confronts her own personal demons while trying to save a young girl who believes a malevolent entity is feeding on her.

Thi Mai

After losing her daughter in an accident, Carmen loses all incentive to keep going, until she receives an unexpected letter from the adoption agency: her daughter was finally granted the Vietnamese girl she had asked for adoption and whose name is Thi Mai.

Trainwreck

Having thought that monogamy was never possible, a commitment-phobic career woman may have to face her fears when she meets a good guy.

Cheaper by the Dozen

The Baker brood moves to Chicago after patriarch Tom gets a job coaching football at Northwestern University, forcing his writer wife, Kate, and the couple's 12 children to make a major adjustment. The transition works well until work demands pull the parents away from home, leaving the kids bored -- and increasingly mischievous.

The Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie

Bugs Bunny hosts an award show featuring several classic Looney Tunes shorts and characters.

Cold Prey

When one of them breaks a leg, five friends snowboarding in the Norwegian mountains take shelter in an abandoned ski lodge and soon realize they’re not alone.

The Fantastic 4: First Steps

Against the vibrant backdrop of a 1960s-inspired, retro-futuristic world, Marvel's First Family is forced to balance their roles as heroes with the strength of their family bond, while defending Earth from a ravenous space god called Galactus and his enigmatic Herald, Silver Surfer.

Detective Conan: Magician of the Silver Sky

Once again, Kaitou Kid crosses swords with Conan Edogawa in this annual installment of the Detective Conan movie franchise. After receiving a letter from the thief, famous actress Juri Maki seeks the help of private detective Kogorou Mouri to protect the Star Sapphire—the "Jewel of Destiny," said to represent faith, fate, and hope.

Final Destination 5

Death is just as omnipresent as ever, and is unleashed after one man’s premonition saves a group of coworkers from a terrifying suspension bridge collapse. But this group of unsuspecting souls was never supposed to survive, and, in a terrifying race against time, the ill-fated group frantically tries to discover a way to escape Death’s sinister agenda.

Eva

A playwright encounters a mysterious woman when he takes shelter in a chalet during a violent snowstorm and becomes obsessed with her.

No Man of God

The complicated relationship that formed between the FBI analyst Bill Hagmaier and serial killer Ted Bundy during Bundy's final years on death row.

The Firefly

After her estranged brother's sudden death, young wife Lucia bonds with his fiancée through their shared grief and finds herself falling in love.

The Paper

Henry Hackett is the workaholic editor of a New York City tabloid. He loves his job, but the long hours and low pay are leading to discontent. Also, publisher Bernie White faces financial straits, and has hatchet-man Alicia Clark—Henry's nemesis—impose unpopular cutbacks.

Like Crazy

Two mental patients with opposite personalities ditch their Tuscan hospital and embark on an unpredictable exploration of the real world.

Wer

A defense attorney begins to suspect that her client, who is charged with the murders of a vacationing family, might be more than meets the eye.

A Hologram for the King

Alan Clay, a struggling American businessman, travels to Saudi Arabia to sell a new technology to the King, only to be challenged by endless Middle Eastern bureaucracy, a perpetually absent monarch, and a suspicious growth on his back.

LOL

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents. When Lola's mom, Anne, "accidentally" reads her teenage daughter's racy journal, she realizes just how wide their communication gap has grown.

Lady Macbeth

Rural England, 1865. Katherine, suffocated by her loveless marriage to a bitter man and restrained by his father's tyranny, unleashes an irresistible force within her, so powerful that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

Nothing But the Truth

When reporter Rachel Armstrong writes a story that reveals the identity of a covert CIA operative, the government demands that Rachel reveal her source. She defies the special prosecutor and is thrown in jail. Meanwhile, her attorney, Albert Burnside argues her case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Let's Not Get Angry

One-time gangster Antoine is enjoying retirement on the coast, now managing a boating club. He receives a visit from a former accomplice who asks for a loan. The money will be repaid by a crook who is now in hiding; Antoine intends to recover his money.

Miami Beach

Miami is one of the most sought by young Italians. It is there, in fact, is going to study at university Luca, a Roman, the son of John and Valentina, Milan, daughter Olivia. During the plane trip from Rome to Miami, Olivia and John argue furiously.

Splinter

When their plans for a nature trip go awry, Polly and boyfriend Seth decide to check into a motel. On their way, they're carjacked and kidnapped by low-rent crooks Dennis and Lacey, who take the victims and their SUV to a nearby gas station. Along the way, they encounter an increasingly terrifying horde of parasites, and if any of them intend to survive, they'll have to outsmart the deadly organisms.

Suicide Squad

From DC Comics comes the Suicide Squad, an antihero team of incarcerated supervillains who act as deniable assets for the United States government, undertaking high-risk black ops missions in exchange for commuted prison sentences.

Chasing Liberty

The President's daughter, unable to experience life like a normal 18 year-old, escapes from her entourage of Secret Service agents while traveling in Europe. She falls in love with a handsome British stranger, who also happens to be working undercover for her father.

Lupin the Third: Prison of the Past

To rescue a famous criminal from imprisonment, Lupin and his team infiltrate the Kingdom of Dorrente. While the skillful thieves from around the world are gathering, Lupin tries to reveal the secret hidden in the kingdom.

Puppet Killer

While celebrating Christmas at a cabin in the woods, a group of high school students are stalked by a psychotic killer obsessed with horror movie icons.

Am I OK?

Lucy and Jane have been best friends for most of their lives and think they know everything there is to know about each other. But when Jane announces she's moving to London, Lucy reveals a long-held secret. As Jane tries to help Lucy, their friendship is thrown into chaos.

Can't Be Heaven

Everyone eventually meets the love of their lives. Sometimes, like Danny and Julia, that person comes along when you are 13 years old. Other times, like Hubbie and his sweetheart, star-crossed love makes getting together a life-long adventure. This heartwarming story will make you feel like falling in love all over again.

Jury Duty: The Comedy

Mild and meek accountant Sanford Lagelfost has been charged with embezzling $3 million dollars from Trout Industries. A decidedly mixed bag of jurors are chosen to serve on the case, including Eddie, a waiter; Rita, a high-priced call girl; Phil, a high-powered businessman; and Abby, a rabble rousing ex-hippie. When the star witness, the voluptuous Hope Hathaway, takes the stand, she startles everyone with her stories of Sanford's Lothario-esque conquests. Suddenly, the unassuming Sanford is a celebrity heartthrob and he finds himself in headlines and gossip columns across the country. Due to the case's growing notoriety, the judge sequesters the jury. And things start to get wild...

Hollywood Harry

Tongue-in-cheek account of a private eye hired to find a young porn actress.

How Come Nobody's on Our Side?

Two unemployed stuntmen smuggle marijuana out of Mexico. Early embarassing roles by Reiner and Marshall!

Animal Behavior

Biologist Alex Brisco develops a new method to communicate with chimpanzees. Instead of using machines, she teaches the chimps simple sign language. Her research is overlooked by ignorant colleagues, but one man, Mark, a cellist, helps Alex with her research.

The Family Jumble

A kid tries splitting his boring parents to join the group of his schoolmates who are all children of divorced mums and dads

Babylon Sisters

A migrant tale of sisterhood and music celebrating unconventional friendships and the power of diversity.

Love, Surreal and Odd

When a group of people meets at the same party, they form four different relationships, each experiencing similar phases of love.

Ushijima the Loan Shark The Final

A classmate from Ushijima's middle school days, Takemoto, shows up. He was a kind man, but now is jobless and without a home. Adrift and unable to borrow money from Ushijima, Takemoto heads for Seiai Home where he can stay while doing work.

No Way Back

After years of toxic relationship with Joachim, Laura is raising their daughter on her own. Joachim's new partner, Shirine, shows up at Laura's door in trouble. Laura realizes that they are both under the same harmful influence. The two women try to help each other find a path out of the toxic relationship.

The Green Gang

Environmental crimes drive them nuts, injustices suffered by women revolt them, and greenwashing makes them sick. Meet The Green Panthers, modern day Robin Hoods with a feminist streak, specialized in burglaries against polluters and misogynists. But to break into a safe and get the goods on their biggest target yet, they must team up with Bernard, an aging burglar whose ecofeminism isn’t quite up to date.

Aabroo

After being betrayed by the woman he loves, a doctor is accused of killing her husband.

Slightly Terrific

A manufacturer and an impresario (who has promised some young people he will stage their show) are twin brothers causes a lot of confusion when the manufacturer is mistaken for his no-money brother.

The Bucket List

Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and working class mechanic Carter Chambers are worlds apart. At a crossroads in their lives, they share a hospital room and discover they have two things in common: a desire to spend the time they have left doing everything they ever wanted to do and an unrealized need to come to terms with who they are. Together they embark on the road trip of a lifetime, becoming friends along the way and learning to live life to the fullest, with insight and humor.

Chicken Run

The creators of Wallace & Gromit bring you an exciting and original story about a group of chickens determined to fly the coop–even if they can’t fly! It’s hardly poultry in motion when Rocky attempts to teach Ginger and her feathered friends to fly…but, with teamwork, determination and a little bit o’ cluck, the fearless flock plots one last attempt in a spectacular bid for freedom.

Tropic Thunder

A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Mere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

Man spricht deutsh

A very middle-class Bavarian family spend the last day of their Mediterranean vacation on the beach, day-dreaming and muttering racist remarks about Italian people.

Speed Racer

Speed Racer is a young and brilliant racing driver. When corruption in the racing leagues costs his brother his life, Speed must team up with the police and the mysterious Racer X to bring an end to the corruption and criminal activities.

Harum Scarum

Johnny Tyronne, action movie star and ladies man, is traveling through the Middle East on a goodwill tour to promote his latest movie, "Sands of the Desert". Once he arrives, however, he is kidnapped by a gang of assassins who were so impressed with his on-screen adventures that they want to hire him to carry out an assassination for them.

Running with Scissors

Young Augusten Burroughs absorbs experiences that could make for a shocking memoir: the son of an alcoholic father and an unstable mother, he's handed off to his mother's therapist, Dr. Finch, and spends his adolescent years as a member of Finch's bizarre extended family.

The Last Kiss

Michael has a great job, has his 4 best friends, and is in love with a beautiful girl at 30. He loves Jenna but his life seems predictable until someone else enters his life. It seems that everybody's having relationship problems.

Idiocracy

To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around.

Smokin' Aces

When a Las Vegas performer-turned-snitch named Buddy Israel decides to turn state's evidence and testify against the mob, it seems that a whole lot of people would like to make sure he's no longer breathing.

Live Free or Die

It's not the crime, it's the cover-up. In small-town, hard-scrabble New Hampshire, foul-mouthed all-talk slacker John "Rugged" Rudgate fancies himself a criminal. When a local plumber stares him down at a pub, Rugged vows revenge, pouring brake fluid in the man's water supply. When the man dies from unrelated causes, Rugged and his side-kick, the even dimmer Jeff, try to cover up what they think i

Over the Hedge

A scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating – and learns a lesson about family himself.

Cocktail

After being discharged from the Army, Brian Flanagan moves back to Queens and takes a job in a bar run by Doug Coughlin, who teaches Brian the fine art of bar-tending. Brian quickly becomes a patron favorite with his flashy drink-mixing style, and Brian adopts his mentor's cynical philosophy on life and goes for the money.

Fun with Dick and Jane

After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it -- but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.

Waiting...

Employees at a Bennigan's-like restaurant (called, creatively enough, Shenanigan's), kill time before their real lives get started. But while they wait, they'll have to deal with picky customers who want their steak cooked to order and enthusiastic managers who want to build the perfect wait staff. Luckily, these employees have effective revenge tactics.

Wedding Daze

After losing the woman of his dreams, Anderson is convinced he'll never fall in love again. But at the urging of his best friend, he spontaneously proposes to a dissatisfied waitress named Katie and an innocent dare evolves into the kind of love that both have been looking for all along.

Amarcord

In an Italian seaside town, young Titta gets into trouble with his friends and watches various local eccentrics as they engage in often absurd behavior. Frequently clashing with his stern father and defended by his doting mother, Titta witnesses the actions of a wide range of characters, from his extended family to Fascist loyalists to sensual women, with certain moments shifting into fantastical scenarios.

Outsourced

After his entire department is outsourced, an American novelty products salesman heads to India to train his replacement.

Malamaal Weekly

After one of his customers dies from the shock of winning a lottery, lottery ticket seller Lilaram hatches a plan to have that money all for himself. But others from the village have also got their eyes on the money.

Mujhse Shaadi Karogi

Sameer, fast at losing his temper is re-located to Goa where he falls in love with Rani. But Sameer's new roommate Sunny, has some plans of his own.

The Motel

Thirteen-year-old Ernest Chin lives and works at a sleazy hourly-rate motel on a strip of desolate suburban bi-way. Misunderstood by his family and blindly careening into puberty, Ernest befriends Sam Kim, a self-destructive yet charismatic Korean man who has checked in. Sam teaches the fatherless boy all the rites of manhood.

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical

From an ominous Lecturer, a small 1930s middle American community learns of the Harper Affair, in which young Jimmy Harper finds his life of promise turn into a life of debauchery and murder thanks to the new drug menace marijuana. Along the way, he receives help from his girlfriend Mary and Jesus Himself, but always finds himself in the arms of the Reefer Man and the rest of the denizens of the Reefer Den.

Hana

In a poor district of Edo lives a young samurai named Soza. He has been sent by his clan to avenge the death of his father. He isn't an accomplished swordsman however, and he prefers sharing the life of the residents, teaching the kids how to write etc. When he finally finds the man he is looking for, he will have to decide whether he follows the way of the samurai or chooses peace and reconciliation.

Garfield: Bringing the Cat to Life

A short documentary on the making of the first live-action Garfield movie.

The Love Scam

Drowning in debt, two brothers concoct a plan to scam a wealthy heiress and save their home in Naples — but unexpected love soon complicates the scheme.

Divine Remedy

Four priests head to Rioja, Spain, to find a better quality mass wine than has ever been available in Iceland. They are so busy with their work and tasting that they miss the miracles happening all around them.

Jimmy Fallon's Holiday Seasoning Spectacular

Jimmy and his friends present a hour long special inspired by his album, "Holiday Seasoning".

Honeyjoon

Persian-Kurdish Lela and her American daughter June take a trip to the romantic Azores after a recent loss, both with polar opposite views about why they’re there, how to grieve, and the size of June’s tiny bikini. Amidst honeymooners, the Woman, Life, Freedom movement and their hot, philosophical tour guide, João, the pair find each other… coming back to life.