McDick (2017)

The Insult

After an emotional exchange between a Lebanese Christian and a Palestinian refugee escalates, the men end up in a court case that gets national attention.

Moonwalkers

What if Apollo 11 never actually made it? What if, in reality, Stanley Kubrick secretly shot the famous images of the moon landing in a studio, working for the US administration? This is the premise of a totally plausible conspiracy theory that takes us to swinging sixties London, where a stubborn CIA agent will never find Kubrick but is forced to team up with a lousy manager of a seedy rock band to develop the biggest con of all time.

Interstellar

The adventures of a group of explorers who make use of a newly discovered wormhole to surpass the limitations on human space travel and conquer the vast distances involved in an interstellar voyage.

Titanic

101-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story of her life aboard the Titanic, 84 years later. A young Rose boards the ship with her mother and fiancé. Meanwhile, Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets aboard the ship. Rose tells the whole story from Titanic's departure through to its death—on its first and last voyage—on April 15, 1912.

Knives Out

When renowned crime novelist Harlan Thrombey is found dead at his estate just after his 85th birthday, the inquisitive and debonair Detective Benoit Blanc is mysteriously enlisted to investigate. From Harlan's dysfunctional family to his devoted staff, Blanc sifts through a web of red herrings and self-serving lies to uncover the truth behind Harlan's untimely death.

Forrest Gump

A man with a low IQ has accomplished great things in his life and been present during significant historic events—in each case, far exceeding what anyone imagined he could do. But despite all he has achieved, his one true love eludes him.

The Shawshank Redemption

Imprisoned in the 1940s for the double murder of his wife and her lover, upstanding banker Andy Dufresne begins a new life at the Shawshank prison, where he puts his accounting skills to work for an amoral warden. During his long stretch in prison, Dufresne comes to be admired by the other inmates -- including an older prisoner named Red -- for his integrity and unquenchable sense of hope.

La La Land

Mia, an aspiring actress, serves lattes to movie stars in between auditions and Sebastian, a jazz musician, scrapes by playing cocktail party gigs in dingy bars, but as success mounts they are faced with decisions that begin to fray the fragile fabric of their love affair, and the dreams they worked so hard to maintain in each other threaten to rip them apart.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Young hobbit Frodo Baggins, after inheriting a mysterious ring from his uncle Bilbo, must leave his home in order to keep it from falling into the hands of its evil creator. Along the way, a fellowship is formed to protect the ringbearer and make sure that the ring arrives at its final destination: Mt. Doom, the only place where it can be destroyed.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

In 1926, Newt Scamander arrives at the Magical Congress of the United States of America with a magically expanded briefcase, which houses a number of dangerous creatures and their habitats. When the creatures escape from the briefcase, it sends the American wizarding authorities after Newt, and threatens to strain even further the state of magical and non-magical relations.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Humanity finds a mysterious object buried beneath the lunar surface and sets off to find its origins with the help of HAL 9000, the world's most advanced super computer.

Pulp Fiction

A burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner, a drug-addled gangster's moll and a washed-up boxer converge in this sprawling, comedic crime caper. Their adventures unfurl in three stories that ingeniously trip back and forth in time.

Barbie

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

A Quiet Place

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

Snowpiercer

In a future where a failed global-warming experiment kills off most life on the planet, a class system evolves aboard the Snowpiercer; a train that travels around the globe via a perpetual-motion engine.

GoodFellas

The true story of Henry Hill, a half-Irish, half-Sicilian Brooklyn kid who is adopted by neighbourhood gangsters at an early age and climbs the ranks of a Mafia family under the guidance of Jimmy Conway.

Good Will Hunting

Headstrong yet aimless, Will Hunting has a genius-level IQ but chooses to work as a janitor at MIT. When he secretly solves highly difficult graduate-level math problems, his talents are discovered by Professor Gerald Lambeau, who decides to help the misguided youth reach his potential. When Will is arrested for attacking a police officer, Professor Lambeau makes a deal to get leniency for him if he gets court-ordered therapy. Eventually, therapist Dr. Sean Maguire helps Will confront the demons that are holding him back.

Jaws

When the seaside community of Amity finds itself under attack by a dangerous great white shark, the town's chief of police, a young marine biologist, and a grizzled hunter embark on a desperate quest to destroy the beast before it strikes again.

Shutter Island

World War II soldier-turned-U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels investigates the disappearance of a patient from a hospital for the criminally insane, but his efforts are compromised by troubling visions and a mysterious doctor.

Iron Man

After being held captive in an Afghan cave, billionaire engineer Tony Stark creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fight evil.

Joker

During the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Thirty years after defeating the Galactic Empire, Han Solo and his allies face a new threat from the evil Kylo Ren and his army of Stormtroopers.

Jumanji

When siblings Judy and Peter discover an enchanted board game that opens the door to a magical world, they unwittingly invite Alan -- an adult who's been trapped inside the game for 26 years -- into their living room. Alan's only hope for freedom is to finish the game, which proves risky as all three find themselves running from giant rhinoceroses, evil monkeys and other terrifying creatures.

Split

Though Kevin has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher, there remains one still submerged who is set to materialize and dominate all the others. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls led by the willful, observant Casey, Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him — as well as everyone around him — as the walls between his compartments shatter apart.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

The story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency's ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

Oppenheimer

The story of J. Robert Oppenheimer's role in the development of the atomic bomb during World War II.

The Terminator

In the post-apocalyptic future, reigning tyrannical supercomputers teleport a cyborg assassin known as the "Terminator" back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor, whose unborn son is destined to lead insurgents against 21st century mechanical hegemony. Meanwhile, the human-resistance movement dispatches a lone warrior to safeguard Sarah. Can he stop the virtually indestructible killing machine?

Dead Poets Society

At an elite, old-fashioned boarding school in New England, a passionate English teacher inspires his students to rebel against convention and seize the potential of every day, courting the disdain of the stern headmaster.

Black Swan

The story of Nina, a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her retired ballerina mother Erica who zealously supports her daughter's professional ambition. When artistic director Thomas Leroy decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice.

The Gray Man

When a shadowy CIA agent uncovers damning agency secrets, he's hunted across the globe by a sociopathic rogue operative who's put a bounty on his head.

Parasite

All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.

Prisoners

Keller Dover is facing every parent’s worst nightmare. His six-year-old daughter, Anna, is missing, together with her young friend, Joy, and as minutes turn to hours, panic sets in. The only lead is a dilapidated RV that had earlier been parked on their street.

Dune

Paul Atreides, a brilliant and gifted young man born into a great destiny beyond his understanding, must travel to the most dangerous planet in the universe to ensure the future of his family and his people. As malevolent forces explode into conflict over the planet's exclusive supply of the most precious resource in existence-a commodity capable of unlocking humanity's greatest potential-only those who can conquer their fear will survive.

Captain Marvel

The story follows Carol Danvers as she becomes one of the universe’s most powerful heroes when Earth is caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races. Set in the 1990s, Captain Marvel is an all-new adventure from a previously unseen period in the history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Born under unusual circumstances, Benjamin Button springs into being as an elderly man in a New Orleans nursing home and ages in reverse. Twelve years after his birth, he meets Daisy, a child who flits in and out of his life as she grows up to be a dancer. Though he has all sorts of unusual adventures over the course of his life, it is his relationship with Daisy, and the hope that they will come together at the right time, that drives Benjamin forward.

Mission: Impossible

When Ethan Hunt, the leader of a crack espionage team whose perilous operation has gone awry with no explanation, discovers that a mole has penetrated the CIA, he's surprised to learn that he's the prime suspect. To clear his name, Hunt now must ferret out the real double agent and, in the process, even the score.

American Beauty

Lester Burnham, a depressed suburban father in a mid-life crisis, decides to turn his hectic life around after developing an infatuation with his daughter's attractive friend.

A Star Is Born

Seasoned musician Jackson Maine discovers — and falls in love with — struggling artist Ally. She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as a singer — until Jack coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Ally's career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Jack fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

After finding a host body in investigative reporter Eddie Brock, the alien symbiote must face a new enemy, Carnage, the alter ego of serial killer Cletus Kasady.

American Psycho

A wealthy New York investment banking executive hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he escalates deeper into his illogical, gratuitous fantasies.

Jackpot

Terrified and bloody, Oscar Svendsen awakes clinched to a shotgun in a strippers joint. Around him 8 dead men, and police aiming at him. To Oscar it's clear that he is innocent. It all started when four chaps won 1,7 million on the pools.

Remember Last Night?

After a night of wild partying at a friend's house, a couple wake up to discover the party's host has been murdered in his bed.

Hazard

A compulsive gambler bets her freedom against a $16,000 debt to a crime boss…and loses. But before he can collect, she skips town, with a private detective hot on her trail.

Drop the Curtain

Cantinflas, who owns a cleaning business, cleans the windows of the house of a famous French actress. While carrying out his work he observes how a man steals one of the famous actress necklaces, but he can only see his back.

Adventures of a Private Eye

While a private detective is away on vacation, his not particularly bright assistant takes it upon himself to "solve" a case that comes in. Complications ensue.

Filth

A bigoted junkie cop suffering from borderline personality disorder and drug addiction manipulates and hallucinates his way in a bid to secure promotion.

Erntedank

Chief detective Kluftinger from the Allgäu can't believe his eyes. A dead crow lies carefully draped on the murder victim. In the course of the investigation, Kluftinger comes across a perpetrator who murders according to Allgäu legends.

John Dies at the End

A new drug promises out-of-body experiences, but users are coming back changed forever, and an otherworldly invasion of Earth is underway.

The Suspicious Death of a Minor

Police detective Paolo Germi and the mysterious Marisa meet each other at a dance hall. Germi is unsuspecting of the secret Marisa is carrying with her: adverse conditions forced her into prostitution. As Germi finds the young girl brutally murdered, he decides to go after her killers. During his investigation, he enters a world of intrigue and obfuscation that leave an endless trail of blood.

The Ambulance

Josh meets a young woman who shortly afterwards collapses and is rushed to hospital in an ambulance. He follows after her only to find that there is no record her being admitted, and he soon learns that her roommate also vanished after being picked up by the same ambulance. Convinced of a conspiracy, Josh proceeds to investigate, despite the discouragement of the police.

The Count of the Old Town

A police inspector tracks a notorious jewel thief, 'Diamond-Lasse,' to a hotel filled with eccentrics.

50 Million Frenchmen

In this comedy, two men make an extravagant $50,000 dollar bet that one of them will be able to successfully court a lovely woman without spending any money. To foil his scheme, the other bettor hires two henchmen to stop him.

The Pink Chiquitas

A pink meteor controlled by aliens lands near a small town and turns the local women into nymphos. A deputy sheriff and a local private eye investigate.

Just Off Broadway

Private detective Michael Shayne is on the case again, but this time he's stuck on a jury for a murder trial. So, what does he do? Why, he skips out on sequestration in order to solve the case himself!

Arım Balım Peteğim

Daughter of a private eye falls in love with father’s playboy client. Pretending to have a busy love life, she makes him jealous and he also starts to love her. When father discovers the affair he asks the Playboy to leave his daughter not knowing she’s pregnant.

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made

An 11-year old boy believes that he is the best detective in town and runs the agency Total Failures with his best friend, an imaginary 1,200 pound polar bear.

The Devil to Pay!

Spendthrift Willie Hale again returns penniless to the family home in London. His father is none too pleased, but Willie smooth-talks him into letting him stay. At the same time he turns the charm on Dorothy Hope, whose father is big in linoleum and who, before Willie's arrival, was about to become engaged to a Russian aristocrat.

Michael Shayne: Private Detective

Millionaire sportsman Hiram Brighton hires gumshoe Michael Shayne to keep his spoiled daughter Phyllis away from racetrack betting windows and roulette wheels. After Phyllis slips away and continues her compulsive gambling, Shayne fakes the murder of her gambler boyfriend, who is also romancing the daughter of casino owner Benny Gordon, in order to frighten her. When the tout really ends up murdered, Shayne and Phyllis' Aunt Olivia, an avid reader of murder mysteries, both try to find the identity of the killer.

The Kid Detective

A once-celebrated kid detective, now 31, continues to solve the same trivial mysteries between hangovers and bouts of self-pity. Until a naive client brings him his first 'adult' case, to find out who brutally murdered her boyfriend.

Adventures of Kitty O'Day

A telephone operator plays homicide detective with her boyfriend, making it harder for the police.

Deduce, You Say

Daffy Duck is a detective who is hunting for the Shropshire Slasher.

So You Want to Be a Detective

Joe McDoakes imagines himself as a private detective on a murder case. Throughout the film, he spars verbally with narrator Art Gilmore.

Detective

Mahim spies on Manmoth, a freedom fighter. Manmoth in turn keeps a sharp eye on Mahim to reveal his secrets to his wife.

Peeper

A detective is hired to locate a girl adopted 30 years earlier whose birth father wants to bequeath her his fortune.

Father Brown

Works of art are disappearing, stolen by a master thief, a master of disguise. Father Brown has two goals: to catch the thief and to save his soul.

The Notorious Sophie Lang

After an extended stay in England, Sophie Lang returns to America. She is beautiful, sophisticated--and a notorious jewel thief. A New York police detective who's been trying to nail her finally comes up with what seems a foolproof scheme--to catch her off guard by having her fall for a handsome and suave jewel thief who happens to be in the U.S. traveling under an assumed name.

Follow That Woman

A private detective's wife takes over his business when he enters the Army.

Two Undercover Angels

"Red Lips" are two female detectives trying to find missing models and dancers. A pop artist called Klaus Thriller and his werewolf-like assistant, Morpho, are the main suspects for the murderers.

Coin Hunters

In a city rotting from within, a cursed coin promising untold riches leaves only disappearances in its wake. When Elle, son of powerful politician Mr. Vichai, vanishes, two broken men—Time, a disgraced cop, and Marvin, a fallen lawyer—are hired to find the truth. One million baht is on the line. But some truths come at a higher price.

Mater Private Eye

Detective Mater is hot on the trail of a dastardly car-napping! When Tia's sister goes missing, Mater is the only car she can turn to. With this tow truck on the case, anything can happen.

The Blast of the Book

Spiritual medium Openshaw is so removed from real life that he confuses a military alarm with a signal from the other world. Father Brown returns the professor to reality and the problems of modern life. Based on the "The Blast of the Book" short story from "The Scandal of Father Brown" stories collection, written in 1935 by Gilbert K. Chesterton.

Senior

A student who can smell ghosts work together with a dead senior classmate to investigate a murder from 50 years ago.

InAPPropriate Comedy

A no-nonsense cop has a flair for fashion and a celebrity takes revenge on the paparazzi in a collection of comedic sketches.

Little Miss Millions

Private detective Nick is hired to bring back Heather, who ran away from her stepmother to find her real mother.

JerryMaja's Detective Agency – Stella Nostra

The sleepy little town Valleby is getting ready for the cafe owners Dino Panini's and Sara Bernard's wedding, and our popular young detectives Lasse and Maja stand ready to ensure that nothing will go wrong. But when the wedding couple's respective relatives arrive, they prove to belong to rival mafia families.

Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie

Monk steps out of retirement as his stepdaughter's wedding turns tragic when her fiancé dies in a bungee jumping accident.

Under Cover of Night

A detective (Edmund Lowe) trails a professor (Henry Daniell) who stole credit for his wife's research, then killed her.

The Runaround

Two private eyes compete to find an heiress and bring her back, unmarried, to New York.

Whistling in Brooklyn

Radio crime show host "The Fox" finds himself on the trail of a serial killer while a suspect himself.

The Gorilla

When an escaped circus gorilla appears to have gone on a murderous rampage, a threatened attorney calls on the detective trio of Garrity, Harrigan and Mullivan to act as bodyguards. In short order, we discover that there is more to the attorney than meets the eye, and the ape may be innocent after all. When a pretty young heiress faces peril, it's up to our heroic trio to save the day.

The Black Bird

The son of famous detective Sam Spade carries on the family tradition of getting involved with the Maltese Falcon - and with the people who will stop at nothing, including murder, to get it.

The Hat Box Mystery

Susan Hart, assistant to private detective Russ Ashton, is given a camera concealed in a hat box and assigned to take a picture of a woman. A gun is accidentally hidden in the box and the woman is killed. Susan is charged with murder, but Russ and his less-than-useful associate, Harvard, get on the case and prove that the fatal shot was fired by the killer from across the street.

The Squeeze

Harry Berg is both a con artist and an actual artist -- he constructs large sculptures out of television sets -- but he is not particularly successful in either role. He owes some money, which gets him involved with Rachel Dobs, a police detective who works with a collection agency. When Harry comes into possession of a strange parcel, both the con man and the detective find themselves wrapped up in a sinister corporate plot to fix the lottery.

Deep Murder

Set in an alternate reality in which everyone is a cliché from a tacky porn film, a group of increasingly self-aware stock characters are up against a mysterious killer offing them one by one.

Confidential Assignment 2: International

Follows Rim Chul Ryung heading back to South Korea in pursuit of a brutal and secret criminal organization. He teams up again with Kang Jin Tae, who volunteers to work with the North Korean in order to get back on the investigation team after a mistake landed him in the cyber crime department.

4 O'Clock

Special agent Mott McCampbell has a mission, escorting a Japanese dignitary from JFK airport to the United Nations. A gang of stewardesses has a different plan, kidnapping! Will Mott be able to stop them in time? Find out, see 4 O’CLOCK, the underground, film-noir comedy.

Hot Guys with Guns

Danny and his ex, Pip, enlist the help of a jaded private investigator to stop a crime spree sending shock waves through a Hollywood community.

Trade Winds

After committing a murder, Kay assumes a new identity and boards a ship. But, Kay is unaware that Sam, a skirt chasing detective, is following her and must outwit him to escape imprisonment.

Saraba Abunai Deka

Plot unavailable

Secret Agent 00 Soul

James Brown III, also known as Secret Agent 00 Soul, is an elite international operative who finally tells off the government and fulfills his longtime dream of opening a detective agency in his hold neighborhood. His once plush workspace is no a ramshackle hole-in-the-wall above a chicken and ribs joint, and instead of being surrounded by glamourous female agents, the is being shaken down by his son Junior, a 400-pound ne'er-do-well who wouldn't know hard work if it hit him in the face. Nonetheless, 00 Soul is able to transform an unlikely bunch of misfits into the wackiest group of oddball detectives ever to hit the 'hood.

Only Saps Work

Rubber-legged comedian Leon Errol made his talkie starring bow in Paramount's Only Saps Work. Based on a play by Owen Davis Sr., the film casts Errol as James Wilson, a kleptomaniac who starts with picking pockets and ends up robbing a bank. Wilson's friend Lawrence Payne (Richard Arlen) inadvertently aids our hero during one of his heists, ending up in deep doo-doo with the law. Before Wilson is able to extricate Payne from his dilemma for the sake of heroine Barbara Tanner (Mary Brian), he pauses long enough to pose as a private eye -- and even gives bellboy Oscar (Stu Erwin) tips on how to spot a crook! If only all of Leon Errol's feature films had been as consistently hilarious as Only Saps Work.

Hold That Girl

"That girl" is newspaper sob-sister Tony Bellamy (Claire Trevor), whose nose for news gets her into one jam after another, especially when she poses as an exotic dancer to get the goods on a gangster.

Extreme Job

A drug squad attempts to take down a criminal organization and they must go undercover to do so, so they begin working at a chicken restaurant, that becomes famous for its delicious chicken. Due to the unexpected popularity, the detectives find themselves in a situation they never expected.

Pursuit

"Mitch" Mitchell is an aviator who has been hired to take a child in a guardianship suit out of California into Mexico. He is accompanied by Maxine Rush, the secretary of the head of a private-detective agency who has been hired to care for the kid until the suit is over. (Overview written by Les Adams )

Super-Sleuth

A movie actor playing a detective gets carried away with his role and starts trying to solve real-life crimes.

The Golden Holiday

A laid-back countryside detective Byung-su takes his family to the Philippines for his 10th wedding anniversary. In fact, his hidden agenda is to track down his old friend Yong-bae who scammed him and got away a few years ago. In Manila, Byung-su finds Yong-bae in prison for murder, and hears about the case surrounding 'Yamashita’s Gold'. Swayed by a share of the Gold that Yong-bae offers, Byung-su suddenly becomes embroiled in the case.

Try This One for Size

The story (based on a novel by James Hadley Chase) concerns the efforts of the genial and deceptively tentative Lepski (Michael Brandon), an insurance company detective, to track down a valuable medieval Russian icon, which was stolen by Bradley (David Carradine), a master thief.

Bunny Jake Is Missing

When Baby Sam is told his pet bunny rabbit has gone on vacation he suspects foul play.

Veronica Mars

Years after walking away from her past as a teenage private eye, Veronica Mars gets pulled back to her hometown - just in time for her high school reunion - in order to help her old flame Logan Echolls, who's embroiled in a murder mystery.

Detective Conan: Episode One - The Great Detective Turned Small

Two-hour remake of the original 1st episode, in celebration of the anime celebrating 20 years in broadcast. The special retells what happened on the day Shinichi was transformed into the body of a child. The special includes new scenes that weren't in the original manga or the first anime episode.

Feudin' Fools

Sach learns that he has inherited a farm in rural hillbilly country, and when he and the Boys arrive there, they find themselves mixed up with a hillbilly clan named Smith who'll shoot anybody named Jones, plus a gang of bank robbers.

Kamen Rider W Forever: From A to Z, 26 Rapid-Succession Roars of Laughter

A series of 26 net movies, comedy-themed shorts (one for every letter of the alphabet) that were released by Toei to promote the Kamen Rider W summer movie, Kamen Rider W Forever: A to Z/The Gaia Memories of Fate.

Miss Pinkerton

Scion of the once-rich Mitchell family, Herbert Wynn is found shot to death. Nurse Adams, bored by hospital routine, is recruited by the police to ferret out clues as she tends to Wynn's elderly aunt Julia. Jokingly given the 'rank' of Miss Pinkerton, after the famous detective agency, Adams probes into the mystery, but not before a second death.

Moonlight Murder

An escaped lunatic, a mysterious swami, and various lovers all have designs on a famous opera singer.

Paths to Paradise

Two thieves discover a professional and personal relationship when individual heist plans are thrown together by circumstance.

The Vagrant

A business man buys a house, but he has a hard time trying to get rid of its previous tenant, a dirty bum.

City Hunter: Bay City Wars

Rival private eyes Ryo Saeba and Umibozu must find a way into a high-tech luxury hotel to rescue their friends who are being held hostage and stop a mad South American dictator's plans to use the hotel's supercomputer to unleash a nuclear holocaust. Highly reminiscent of Die Hard, right down to a scene where Ryu bunjee-jumps off of the roof of the hotel skyscraper with a fire hose. Written by Christopher E. Meadows

Jagga Jasoos

A gifted teenage detective searches for his missing father with his ladylove assistant.

The Amazing Mr. Williams

Kenny Williams, a lieutenant on the homicide squad, is engaged to Maxine Carroll, the Mayor's secretary. Or isn't he rather married with his job? For each time he has a date with his longtime fiancée, he is prevented from keeping it by his devotion to duty. Maxine, in desperation, decides to take action and bring Kenny to the altar. Who will win, Maxine's curves or the glorious fight against crime?