Preti (2012)

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

The Police Academy misfits travel to Miami Beach for Commandant Lassard to be honored with a prestigious lifetime award pending his retirement. Things take a turn when Lassard unknowingly ends up in possession of stolen diamonds from a jewel heist.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training

When police funding is cut, the Governor announces he must close one of the academies. To make it fair, the two police academies must compete against each other to stay in operation. Mauser persuades two officers in Lassard's academy to better his odds, but things don't quite turn out as expected...

The Second Tragic Fantozzi

The frustrating adventures of a humble employee who all the time has to fullfill the wishes and desires of his bosses.

Scared Shrekless

Shrek challenges Donkey, Puss in Boots and his other fairy tale character friends to spend the night in Lord Farquaad's haunted castle, telling scary stories to see who can resist becoming scared and stay the longest.

Tarzan II

When one of his missteps puts his family in jeopardy, Tarzan decides they would be better off without him.

Return to Horror Hotel

Return to Horror Hotel is an anthology feature with 4 segments. One is about giant a bedbugs, one is about a magical charm that turns girls beautiful, one is about a WWII sailor who hasn't aged and one is about a terrorizing severed hand.

The Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom

The royal couple Odette and Derek face yet another evil magician, this time a woman named Zelda. Lusting for the treasure of the Forbidden Arts, which will give her absolute power, Zelda kidnaps Odette as ransom. Derek and several animal friends head off to rescue Odette

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II

Now that Frollo is gone, Quasimodo rings the bell with the help of his new friend and Esmeralda's and Phoebus' little son, Zephyr. But when Quasi stops by a traveling circus owned by evil magician Sarousch, he falls for Madellaine, Sarouch's assistant.

Shrek the Third

The King of Far Far Away has died and Shrek and Fiona are to become King & Queen. However, Shrek wants to return to his cozy swamp and live in peace and quiet, so when he finds out there is another heir to the throne, they set off to bring him back to rule the kingdom.

Return

RETURN tells the story of a retired Green Beret who embarks on a healing journey from Montana to Vietnam. There he retraces his steps, shares his wartime experiences with his son, treats his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and seeks out the mountain tribespeople he once lived with and fought alongside as a Special Forces officer.

Bambi II

Return to the forest and join Bambi as he reunites with his father, The Great Prince, who must now raise the young fawn on his own. But in the adventure of a lifetime, the proud parent discovers there is much he can learn from his spirited young son.

Lissi and the Wild Emperor

The plot concerns a yeti who makes a pact with the devil to kidnap the most beautiful girl in the world. This turns out to be the Princess Lissi, who is clearly the Austrian Princess and later Empress Elisabeth of Bavaria, and much of the film is taken up with subplots related to the court and to the romantic relationship between Elisabeth and her husband. The film is thus a comic parody of the Sissi films.

Rio 2

It's a jungle out there for Blu, Jewel and their three kids after they're hurtled from Rio de Janeiro to the wilds of the Amazon. As Blu tries to fit in, he goes beak-to-beak with the vengeful Nigel, and meets the most fearsome adversary of all: his father-in-law.

Torrente 4: Lethal crisis

In Lethal Crisis, the world's most uncouth private eye is framed for a crime he didn't commit in the riotous fourth installment of the Torrente series.

Kamen Rider W Returns: Kamen Rider Eternal

Set primarily before the events of Kamen Rider W Forever, Kamen Rider Eternal tells the story of Daido Katsumi, the formation of NEVER, the mission that led them to target Fuuto, and reveals just how Daido obtained his Lost Driver and got his first taste of the power of Kamen Rider Eternal. As a mysterious woman retells this story to Phillip and Shotaro, they realize that Daido may not have been the simple monster he first appeared to be…

Gulliver Returns

World traveler and adventurer Gulliver is invited to return to Lilliput, the town he previously saved from the enemy fleet of the neighboring Blefuscu.

Dragon Ball Z: The Return of Cooler

Cooler has resurrected himself as a robot and is enslaving the people of New Namek. Goku and the gang must help.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Pop sensations Alvin, Simon and Theodore end up in the care of Dave Seville's twenty-something nephew Toby. The boys must put aside music super stardom to return to school, and are tasked with saving the school's music program by winning the $25,000 prize in a battle of the bands. But the Chipmunks unexpectedly meet their match in three singing chipmunks known as The Chipettes - Brittany, Eleanor and Jeanette. Romantic and musical sparks are ignited when the Chipmunks and Chipettes square off.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

In 1938, an art collector appeals to eminent archaeologist Dr. Indiana Jones to embark on a search for the Holy Grail. Indy learns that a medieval historian has vanished while searching for it, and the missing man is his own father, Dr. Henry Jones Sr.. He sets out to rescue his father by following clues in the old man's notebook, which his father had mailed to him before he went missing. Indy arrives in Venice, where he enlists the help of a beautiful academic, Dr. Elsa Schneider, along with Marcus Brody and Sallah. Together they must stop the Nazis from recovering the power of eternal life and taking over the world!

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

In 1889, seventeen men die under mysterious circumstances, and spooked by recent events, the miners who populate the town leave in droves until there's nothing left but a shell of a community.

The Dead Pool

Dirty Harry Callahan returns for his final film adventure. Together with his partner Al Quan, he must investigate the systematic murder of actors and musicians. By the time Harry learns that the murders are a part of a sick game to predict the deaths of celebrities before they happen, it may be too late...

Barbie Mariposa

Elina, heroine of the Fairytopia films tells her friend Bibble the story of Flutterfield, a faraway kingdom populated by fairies with butterfly wings. Henna, the evil butterfly fairy has poisoned the queen of Flutterfield in an attempt to take over the kingdom.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Playing around while aboard a cruise ship, the Chipmunks and Chipettes accidentally go overboard and end up marooned in a tropical paradise. They discover their new turf is not as deserted as it seems.

The Night Before the Exams Today

In 2006, as World Cup fever sweeps Italy, high school senior Luca falls hard for dolphin trainer Azzurra and stumbles on a family secret -- right before his exams.

Double Trouble

A stuntman and a saxophonist stand in for two billionaires threatened by killers.

Another 48 Hrs.

For the past four years, San Francisco cop Jack Cates has been after an unidentified drug kingpin who calls himself the Ice Man. Jack finds a picture that proves that the Ice Man has put a price on the head of Reggie Hammond, who is scheduled to be released from prison on the next day.

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

The Japanese forces occupy Shanghai and slowly start spreading terror in the city. Chen Zhen, who was presumed dead, returns to fight against the Japanese and put an end to their tyrannical rule.

The Bad Guys: Haunted Heist

The crafty Bad Guys crew embarks on a high-stakes Halloween heist to swipe a priceless amulet from a spooky mansion. What could go wrong?

Darkland: The Return

Seven years ago, Zaid went to war against the Copenhagen underworld to avenge his dead brother. His identity as a respected doctor of cardiology and life as a family man is but a fading dream, and in prison Zaid suffers the loss of his son Noah, whom he barely knows. When a police agent approaches Zaid and offers him a deal to be released in exchange for infiltrating the Copenhagen underworld, he sees his chance to reclaim the remnants of the family life he left behind. But everything has a price, and Zaid realizes that he has now seriously endangered his son's life. After all, once you become part of the underworld, is there any way out?

Trail of the Pink Panther

The Pink Panther diamond is stolen once again from Lugash and the authorities call in Chief Inspector Clouseau from France. His plane disappears en-route. This time, famous French TV reporter Marie Jouvet sets out to solve the mystery and starts to interview everybody connected to Clouseau.

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Jon and Garfield visit the United Kingdom, where a case of mistaken cat identity finds Garfield ruling over a castle. His reign is soon jeopardized by the nefarious Lord Dargis, who has designs on the estate.

Shrek the Halls

The Christmas tree isn't the only thing green in this new holiday classic. Shrek is back and trying to get into the spirit of the season. After promising Fiona and the kids a Christmas they'll remember, he is forced to take a crash course in the holiday. But just when he thinks he has everything for their quiet family Christmas just right, there is a knock at the door.

1

Early morning silence is broken by screeching tires as a helicopter bears down on a speeding vehicle. Taking a quick corner, the team tumbles out into the woods as their car pulls away. Now they must make their way through the thick of nature and thick gunfire to accomplish their mission. Not a single word of dialogue is spoken throughout the entire film. Instead, the music, sounds, images and deeply truthful acting turn a simple plot into an intense experience. Passion and intrigue keep building to the very end.

Kung Fu Panda Holiday

The Winter Feast is Po's favorite holiday. Every year he and his father hang decorations, cook together, and serve noodle soup to the villagers. But this year Shifu informs Po that as Dragon Warrior, it is his duty to host the formal Winter Feast at the Jade Palace. Po is caught between his obligations as the Dragon Warrior and his family traditions: between Shifu and Mr. Ping.

Barbie Mariposa & the Fairy Princess

Mariposa becomes the Royal Ambassador of Flutterfield, and is sent to bring peace between her fairy land and their rivals, the Crystal Fairies of Shimmervale. While Mariposa doesn't make a great first impression on the King, she becomes fast friends with his shy daughter, Princess Catania. However, a misunderstanding causes Mariposa to be banished from their fairy land. As Mariposa and Zee returns to Flutterfield, they encounter a dark fairy on her way to destroy Shimmervale. Mariposa rushes back and helps Princess Catania to save their fairy land and together, the two girls prove that the best way to make a friend, is to be a friend.

Cold Prey II

After surviving the events in the Jotunheimen mountains in which four of her friends were murdered, the badly injured Jannicke is brought to the local hospital. But when she wakes up, the building is dark and deserted... and she soon realizes that her nightmare isn’t over yet.

Zapped!

Peyton and Barney are fun loving high school students working on a science project with white mice. When one of the mice begins to move food toward itself with out touching it, Barney finds he has accidently discovered a formula for telekinetic powers. Now, how much trouble can a high school boy who can move things with just his mind get into?

Stan Helsing

A spoof on many horror movie series. Ending his shift at the video rental, Stan's picked up by his BFF and 2 cute girls, all going to a Halloween party. Will they even get there?

Screening Party

When journalist Dennis gets assigned to write about Pretty Woman for Marquee magazine's “Hooray for Hollywood Hookers” issue, he invites five friends over to screen, celebrate and skewer the modern-day Cinderella story. The partiers include his roommate Tony, a burnt-out cruise ship crooner who's desperately looking for a new gig on land; Lauren, a relationship-challenged aspiring stand-up comic; Marcos, a sweet-natured attorney who never met a tangent he couldn't go off on; Ross, an Opera-loving video clerk with multiple tattoos and arsenal of movie fun facts at the ready; and Dr. Beverly Beaverman, the shrink next door who finds Freudian psychological meanings in everything she sees. Together, they do their best to make sense of the 1990 Richard Gere-Julia Roberts romantic comedy classic while discovering that the movie's themes—sex, money, sex for money—resonate in their lives in ways both ridiculous and profound.

Blazing Saddles

A town—where everyone seems to be named Johnson—stands in the way of the railroad. In order to grab their land, robber baron Hedley Lamarr sends his henchmen to make life in the town unbearable. After the sheriff is killed, the town demands a new sheriff from the Governor, so Hedley convinces him to send the town the first black sheriff in the west.

Die 1000 Glotzböbbel vom Dr. Mabuse

Plot unavailable

This Is Spinal Tap

"This Is Spinal Tap" shines a light on the self-contained universe of a metal band struggling to get back on the charts, including everything from its complicated history of ups and downs, gold albums, name changes and undersold concert dates, along with the full host of requisite groupies, promoters, hangers-on and historians, sessions, release events and those special behind-the-scenes moments that keep it all real.

A State of Grace

A biblical interpretation of airline safety instructions.

Bruce Almighty

Bruce Nolan toils as a "human interest" television reporter in Buffalo, NY, but despite his high ratings and the love of his beautiful girlfriend, Bruce remains unfulfilled. At the end of the worst day in his life, he angrily ridicules God - and the Almighty responds, endowing Bruce with all of His divine powers.

Airplane!

An ex-fighter pilot forced to take over the controls of an airliner when the flight crew succumbs to food poisoning.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

As a swinging fashion photographer by day and a groovy British superagent by night, Austin Powers is the '60s' most shagadelic spy. But can he stop megalomaniac Dr. Evil after the bald villain freezes himself and unthaws in the '90s? With the help of sexy sidekick Vanessa Kensington, he just might.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

When diabolical genius Dr. Evil travels back in time to steal superspy Austin Powers's ‘mojo,’ Austin must return to the swingin' '60s himself - with the help of American agent, Felicity Shagwell - to stop the dastardly plan. Once there, Austin faces off against Dr. Evil's army of minions to try to save the world in his own unbelievably groovy way.

Austin Powers in Goldmember

The world's most shagadelic spy continues his fight against Dr. Evil. This time, the diabolical doctor and his clone, Mini-Me, team up with a new foe—'70s kingpin Goldmember. While pursuing the team of villains to stop them from world domination, Austin gets help from his dad and an old girlfriend.

Dogma

An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and reenter Heaven.

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Juliet Forrest is convinced that the reported death of her father in a mountain car crash was no accident. Her father was a prominent cheese scientist working on a secret recipe. To prove it was murder, she enlists the services of private eye Rigby Reardon. He finds a slip of paper containing a list of people who are 'The Friends and Enemies of Carlotta'.

Hot Shots!

The gang that created Airplane and The Naked Gun sets its sights on Top Gun in this often hilarious spoof starring Charlie Sheen, who previously only inspired laughs with his personal life. He plays Topper Harley, a fighter pilot with an axe to grind: clearing the family name. He gets involved in a relationship with Valerie Golino, a woman with an unusually talented stomach. But his mission is to avenge his father. Lloyd Bridges, late in his career, revealed an aptitude for this kind of silliness, here as a commander who is both incredibly dim and delightfully accident prone. Directed by Jim Abrahams, the film makes fun of a variety of other films as well, from Dances with Wolves to The Fabulous Baker Boys. It was so successful that they all returned in the sequel, Hot Shots! Part Deux.

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

When Ashtray moves to South Central L.A. to live with his father (who appears to be the same age he is) and grandmother (who likes to talk tough and smoke reefer), he falls in with his gang-banging cousin Loc Dog, who along with the requisite pistols and Uzi carries a thermo-nuclear warhead for self-defense. Will Ashtray be able to keep living the straight life?

Date Movie

Spoof of romantic comedies which focuses on a man, his crush, his parents, and her father.

Not Another Teen Movie

On a bet, a gridiron hero at John Hughes High School sets out to turn a bespectacled plain Jane into a beautiful and popular prom queen in this outrageous send-up of the teen movies of the 1980s and '90s.

Spooksbury

An awkward ghoul makes his television debut as he presents the 1968 horror classic Night of the Living Dead, with the help of a reluctant crew.

Torrente 5

Crooked cop Torrente gets out of jail in the year 2018 to find a different Spain from the one he knew.

Life Stinks

A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with a homeless woman.

Carry On Screaming!

The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!

Carry On Don't Lose Your Head

Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.

Carry On Cowboy

Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.

Carry On Cleo

Two Britons—inventor Hengist Pod, and Horse, a brave and cunning fighter—are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Cleopatra.

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth

In this horror parody, a masked serial killer menaces the town of Bulimia Falls with various sharp objects. Attention-seeking television personality Hagitha Utslay is soon on the scene, reporting on the ever-growing body count. Former mall security guard Doughy shows up to protect the teenage population, but he's clearly not much help, allowing the murderer to pick off even more hapless kids as numerous scary movies are referenced.

Scary Movie

A familiar-looking group of teenagers find themselves being stalked by a more-than-vaguely recognizable masked killer! As the victims begin to pile up and the laughs pile on, none of your favorite scary movies escape the razor-sharp satire of this outrageously funny parody!

Scary Movie 2

While the original parodied slasher flicks like Scream, Keenen Ivory Wayans's sequel to Scary Movie takes comedic aim at haunted house movies. A group of students visit a mansion called "Hell House," and murderous high jinks ensue.

Scary Movie 3

In the third installment of the Scary Movie franchise, news anchorwoman Cindy Campbell has to investigate mysterious crop circles and killing video tapes, and help the President stop an alien invasion in the process.

Scary Movie 4

Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.

Scary Movie 5

Home with their newly-formed family, happy parents Dan and Jody are haunted by sinister, paranormal activities. Determined to expel the insidious force, they install security cameras and discover their family is being stalked by an evil dead demon.

Murder by Death

Lionel Twain invites the world's five greatest detectives to a 'dinner and murder'. Included are a blind butler, a deaf-mute maid, screams, spinning rooms, secret passages, false identities and more plot turns and twists than are decently allowed.

Wayne's World

The adventures of two amiably aimless metal-head friends, Wayne and Garth. From Wayne's basement, the pair broadcast a talk-show called "Wayne's World" on local public access television. The show comes to the attention of a sleazy network executive who wants to produce a big-budget version of "Wayne's World"—and he also wants Wayne's girlfriend, a rock singer named Cassandra. Wayne and Garth have to battle the executive not only to save their show, but also Cassandra.

Orgazmo

A devout Mormon living in L.A. becomes a pornographic actor after his martial arts moves impress a big-time director.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Cheese-loving eccentric Wallace and his cunning canine pal, Gromit, investigate a mystery in Nick Park's animated adventure, in which the lovable inventor and his intrepid pup run a business ridding the town of garden pests. Using only humane methods that turn their home into a halfway house for evicted vermin, the pair stumble upon a mystery involving a voracious vegetarian monster that threatens to ruin the annual veggie-growing contest.

My Name Is Bruce

B Movie Legend Bruce Campbell is mistaken for his character Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy and forced to fight a real monster in a small town in Oregon.

Sister Act

A Reno singer witnesses a mob murder and the cops stash her in a nunnery to protect her from the mob's hitmen. The mother superior does not trust her, and takes steps to limit her influence on the other nuns. Eventually the singer rescues the failing choir and begins helping with community projects, which gets her an interview on TV—and identification by the mob.

UFOria

Sheldon Bart (Fred Ward) is a drifter, and a small-time con man. He meets his old friend, Brother Bud (Harry Dean Stanton), a big-time con man into faith healing and fencing stolen cars, at his revival tent outside a small town. While he's helping Brother Bud, he falls in love with Arlene (Cindy Williams), a local supermarket clerk who believes in UFOs and is deeply religious and deeply lonely. When Arlene has a vision of a coming UFO, everyone deals with it in their own way.

Meet the Spartans

The heroic Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag group of thirteen Spartans to defend their homeland against the invading Persians (whose ranks include Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Transformers, and a hunchbacked Paris Hilton). No one is safe when the Spartans take on the biggest icons in pop culture!

Tropic Thunder

A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Robin Hood comes home after fighting in the Crusades to learn that the noble King Richard is in exile and that the despotic King John now rules England, with the help of the Sheriff of Rottingham. Robin Hood assembles a band of fellow patriots to do battle with King John and the Sheriff.

Dark Habits

After her drug pusher boyfriend overdoses on heroin, a cabaret singer finds refuge from the authorities in a convent for fallen women.

The Pope's Toilet

In 1998, a small South American village is in a flurry over the Pope's upcoming visit for the business opportunities that it will provide. While most of the residents plan to sell food at the parade, a smuggler family man decides to build a pay toilet.

Flesh Gordon

Emperor Wang (the Perverted) is leader of the planet Porno and sends his mighty "Sex Ray" towards Earth, turning everyone into sex-mad fiends. Only one man can save the Earth, football player Flesh Gordon. Along with his girlfriend Dale Ardor and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff, they set off towards the source of the Sex Ray, unaware of the perils that face them!

Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders

Space-faring hero and galactically-renowned stud Flesh Gordon is kidnapped by a group of space cheerleaders hoping to use him to save their planet. A being simply known as Evil Presence has been rendering the men of their world impotent, and the women are desperate for some form of relief. Flesh's girlfriend Ardor, meanwhile, is following behind to try to keep him out of trouble, but soon finds herself kidnapped by Evil Presence's henchman who has plans of his own. Can Flesh get the men of this planet standing tall once again?

The Hungover Games

Each year, drunk people are selected to participate in torturous games the morning after a big night out. There's no sunglasses, no water, and no headache medicine. "The Hungover Games," a film that manages to merge the premises of both "The Hunger Games" and "The Hangover" and throw in references to "Ted," "Django Unchained," "The Lord of the Rings," "Carrie," "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and whatever else crossed the writers' fevered brains during the probably very drunken "development process."

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi is nibbling the grass, unaware of the upcoming encounter with Godzilla. Who will win when they finally meet? Preserved by the Academy Film Archive in 2009.

The Tuxedo

Cabbie-turned-chauffeur Jimmy Tong learns there is really only one rule when you work for playboy millionaire Clark Devlin : Never touch Devlin's prized tuxedo. But when Devlin is temporarily put out of commission in an explosive accident, Jimmy puts on the tux and soon discovers that this extraordinary suit may be more black belt than black tie. Paired with a partner as inexperienced as he is, Jimmy becomes an unwitting secret agent.

Terror Firmer

A low-budget film crew working in New York City find themselves being preyed upon by a sexually conflicted serial killer.

The Resurrection of Gavin Stone

Gavin Stone, a washed-up former child star, is forced to do community service at a local megachurch and pretends to be Christian so he can land the part of Jesus in their annual Passion Play, only to discover that the most important role of his life is far from Hollywood.

Psychic Sue

Sue works as psychic to prey on believers in the afterlife. Her show has some flaws. Imagine her shock when she discovers that ghosts can indeed appear to the living! Time to consult a real medium!

8 Kilsa

After three years of hustle in the capital, Jony Nyberg is dumped and forced to move back into his mother's mobile home, still parked in the Motown of Finland. Returning to the hoods he grew up in, Jony has to contend with loose ends from his past, including a repressed hip-hop persona known locally as "MC Pahis".

Leap of Faith

Jonas Nightengale is a fraudulent Christian faith healer who makes a living travelling around America holding revival meetings and conducting 'miracles' with the help of his friend and manager, Jane, and their entourage.

Another Gay Movie

In the dirtiest, funniest, most scandalous gay-teen-sex-comedy-parody ever, four young gay friends make a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the summer. The boys soon face giant sex toys, naked celebrities, masochistic teachers and an uncontrollable romance with a quiche.