The History of White People in America (1985)

Monkeyshines, No. 1

Experimental film made to test the original cylinder format of the Kinetoscope and believed to be the first film shot in the United States. It shows a blurry figure in white standing in one place making large gestures and is only a few seconds long.

The Band Concert

Mickey is trying to lead a concert of The William Tell Overture, but he's continually disrupted by ice cream vendor Donald, who uses a seemingly endless supply of flutes to play Turkey in the Straw instead. After Donald gives up, a bee comes along and causes his own havoc. The band then reaches the Storm sequence, and the weather also starts to pick up; a tornado comes along, but they keep playing.

The Big Shave

A young man walks into a meticulously clean and sterile bathroom and proceeds to shave away hair, then skin, in an increasingly bloody and graphic bathroom scene.

The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Charles Dreyfus, who has finally cracked over inspector Clouseau's antics, escapes from a mental institution and launches an elaborate plan to get rid of Clouseau once and for all.

Return to the Blue Lagoon

In this sequel to the 1980 classic, two children are stranded on a beautiful island in the South Pacific. With no adults to guide them, the two make a simple life together and eventually become tanned teenagers in love.

The Big Sleep

Private Investigator Philip Marlowe is hired by wealthy General Sternwood regarding a matter involving his youngest daughter Carmen. Before the complex case is over, Marlowe sees murder, blackmail, deception, and what might be love.

To Sir, with Love

A British Guianese engineer starts a job as a high school teacher in London’s East End, where his uninterested and delinquent pupils are in desperate need of attention and care.

Demetrius and the Gladiators

The story picks up at the point where "The Robe" ends, following the martyrdom of Diana and Marcellus. Christ's robe is conveyed to Peter for safe-keeping, but the emperor Caligula wants it back to benefit from its powers. Marcellus' former slave Demetrius seeks to prevent this, and catches the eye of Messalina, wife to Caligula's uncle Claudius. Messalina tempts Demetrius, he winds up fighting in the arena, and wavers in his faith.

What Just Happened

During the course of an ordinary week in Hollywood, movie producer Ben must navigate his way through shark-infested waters as he struggles to complete his latest projects. A demanding studio boss demands extensive changes to a movie starring Sean Penn, while another chief won't greenlight a project unless star Bruce Willis shaves his beard. Meanwhile, Ben tries to reconcile with his wife and maintain a relationship with his young daughter.

Jules and Jim

In the carefree days before World War I, introverted Austrian author Jules strikes up a friendship with the exuberant Frenchman Jim and both men fall for the impulsive and beautiful Catherine.

Scooby-Doo! in Where's My Mummy?

Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Inc. gang become involved in a supernatural mystery in Egypt.

The Flight of the Phoenix

A cargo aircraft crashes in a sandstorm in the Sahara with less than a dozen men on board. One of the passengers is an airplane designer who comes up with the idea of ripping off the undamaged wing and using it as the basis for a replacement aircraft they need to build before their food and water run out.

Turné

Two stage actors leave on a tournée, but there's a matter to be settled: one has become the lover of the other's girlfriend and since they are very good friends, cannot bring himself to tell him.

Marius

"Marius" takes place in Marseilles' Old Port, at the La Marine Bar, owned by César and his son Marius. Marius' biggest dream is to embark on one of the boats passing by his dad's bar and to set off to a faraway land. Fanny, a young and pretty seafood peddler, has secretly been in love with Marius since her childhood; Marius, never admitting it, has always loved Fanny. One day, a sailor drops by La Marine and offers him a job on an exploratory ship. Trying to hold him off and to make him jealous, Fanny confesses his love to him and provokes a fight between Marius and one of César's old friends, Panisse, a boat merchant, who despite his old age, has been courting Fanny for a while. Torn between the call of the sea and his love for her, Marius abandons his dream to be with Fanny who gives herself to him. As César and Honorine, Fanny's mother, are getting ready for the wedding, Marius changes his mind, drawn back to the call of the sea.

Solaris

A psychologist is sent to a space station orbiting a planet called Solaris to investigate the death of a doctor and the mental problems of cosmonauts on the station. He soon discovers that the water on the planet is a type of brain which brings out repressed memories and obsessions.

Test

San Francisco, 1985. Two opposites attract at a modern dance company. Together, their courage and resilience are tested as they navigate a world full of risks and promise, against the backdrop of a disease no one seems to know anything about.

Monkey Business

Research chemist Barnaby Fulton works on a fountain of youth pill for a chemical company. One of the labs chimps gets loose in the laboratory and mixes chemicals, but then pours the mix into the water cooler. When trying one of his own samples, washed down with water from the cooler, Fulton begins to act just like a twenty-year-old and believes his potion is working. Soon his wife and boss are also behaving like children.

The Return of the Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe

With "little captain" Cambrai raising serious doubts about the reality of the so-called "super spy," Colonel Toulouse kidnaps Christine and forces Francois to play again the character of "The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe" in some fake adventures. All this to stop the investigation into the death of Colonel Milan.

Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald

A love story written by an ordinary housewife is going to be broadcast as a radio drama and almost everyone among the crew insists on changing various parts of the play to their liking.

Laws of Attraction

Amidst a sea of litigation, two New York City divorce lawyers find love.

Rock 'n' Roll High School

A group of rock-music-loving students, with the help of the Ramones, take over their school to combat its newly installed oppressive administration.

Biwi No.1

A woman tries to win back her husband when she discovers he's keeping a model for a mistress.

Red Corner

An American attorney on business in China, ends up wrongfully on trial for murder and his only key to innocence is a female defense lawyer from the country.

Nothing in Return

One summer, Dario flees the hellish environment of his home. Luismi, unconditional friend, a poor devil with pretensions of winning, and Antonia, an old woman who collects abandoned his motorcar furniture, become his new family. Three generations living together in a city too big to be alone.

Twist Again in Moscow

Igor, who manages a fancy hotel and is on the take, has to juggle several problems at once. He has a two-hour window to get his ill-got gain out of the hotel, he must misdirect and obstruct the inquiries of a Party auditor who suspects that all is not above board, and he must keep out of sight and out of trouble his interloping and troublesome young brother-in-law, who arrives unannounced with barrels of rotten herring.

Swimming Pool

A British crime novelist travels to her publisher's upmarket summer house in Southern France to seek solitude in order to work on her next book. However, the unexpected arrival of the publisher's daughter induces complications and a subsequent crime.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker

When the puzzle box is once again solved, Pinhead and his legion demolish all who dare oppose them. But standing in his way is the only person who has defeated Cenobites of the past.

Trail of the Pink Panther

The Pink Panther diamond is stolen once again from Lugash and the authorities call in Chief Inspector Clouseau from France. His plane disappears en-route. This time, famous French TV reporter Marie Jouvet sets out to solve the mystery and starts to interview everybody connected to Clouseau.

Major League II

After losing in the ALCS the year before, the Cleveland Indians are determined to make it into the World Series this time! However, they first have to contend with Rachel Phelps again when she buys back the team.

The Source

A comedy/drama set in a village and centered on a battle of the sexes, where women threaten to withhold sexual favours as long as the men refuse to install a water pipe.

Send Me No Flowers

At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man's diagnosis for his own and believes he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn't tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he's not dying at all (while he doesn't) and she believes it's just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him.

The Celebration

The family of a wealthy businessman gather to celebrate his 60th birthday. During the course of the party, his eldest son presents a speech that reveals a shocking secret.

Pluto's Christmas Tree

Pluto comes bounding outside to help Mickey get a Christmas tree. Chip 'n Dale see him and make fun of him, but the tree they take refuge in is the one Mickey chops down. They like the decorations, especially the candy canes and Mickey's bowl of mixed nuts. But Pluto spots them and goes after them long before Mickey spots them. Minnie, Donald, and Goofy drop by to sing carols.

North Country

A fictionalized account of the first major successful sexual harassment case in the United States — Jenson vs. Eveleth Mines, where a woman who endured a range of abuse while working as a miner filed and won the landmark 1984 lawsuit.

Tom Jones

Tom loves Sophie and Sophie loves Tom. But Tom and Sophie are of differering classes. Can they find a way through the mayhem to be true to love?

Nightbreed

A troubled young man is drawn to a mythical place called Midian where a variety of friendly monsters are hiding from humanity. Meanwhile, a sadistic serial killer is looking for a patsy.

If I Were You 2

Claudio and Helena are on the verge of breaking up, until the couple experiences another strange phenomenon that looks to help them understand one another more.

Pleasantville

Geeky teenager David and his popular twin sister, Jennifer, get sucked into the black-and-white world of a 1950s TV sitcom called "Pleasantville," and find a world where everything is peachy keen all the time. But when Jennifer's modern attitude disrupts Pleasantville's peaceful but boring routine, she literally brings color into its life.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

Sleeper

Miles Monroe, a clarinet-playing health food store proprietor, is revived out of cryostasis 200 years into a future world in order to help rebels fight an oppressive government regime.

Serial Mom

Beverly is the perfect happy homemaker, along with her doting husband and two children, but this nuclear family just might explode when her fascination with serial killers collides with her ever-so-proper code of ethics.

The Kentucky Fried Movie

A series of loosely connected skits that spoof news programs, commercials, porno films, kung-fu films, disaster films, blaxploitation films, spy films, mafia films, and the fear that somebody is watching you on the other side of the TV.

Intolerable Cruelty

A revenge-seeking gold digger marries a womanizing Beverly Hills lawyer with the intention of making a killing in the divorce.

Scary Movie

A familiar-looking group of teenagers find themselves being stalked by a more-than-vaguely recognizable masked killer! As the victims begin to pile up and the laughs pile on, none of your favorite scary movies escape the razor-sharp satire of this outrageously funny parody!

Eat the Rich

Alex is a disgruntled waiter at a snobby exclusive restaurant who falls on hard times. Forced to deal with the contempt and disgust of the upper class, Alex & cohorts attempt to go on a rampage. Meanwhile, General Karprov and Spider plot to involve the inept anarchists into their plans to derail the prime-minister-to-be's campaign.

Charlie's Angels

The captivating crime-fighting trio who are masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts are back! When a devious mastermind embroils them in a plot to destroy individual privacy, the Angels, aided by their loyal sidekick Bosley, set out to bring down the bad guys. But when a terrible secret is revealed, it makes the Angels targets for assassination.

Fido

Timmy Robinson's best friend in the whole wide world is a six-foot tall rotting zombie named Fido. But when Fido eats the next-door neighbor, Mom and Dad hit the roof, and Timmy has to go to the ends of the earth to keep Fido a part of the family. A boy-and-his-dog movie for grown ups, "Fido" will rip your heart out.

Chet Larson

A mockumentary following the rise, fall and continued tribulations of former internet personality Chet Larson and those associated with him.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

The next great psycho horror slasher has given a documentary crew exclusive access to his life as he plans his reign of terror over the sleepy town of Glen Echo, all the while deconstructing the conventions and archetypes of the horror genre for them.

Silent Movie

Aspiring filmmakers Mel Funn, Marty Eggs and Dom Bell go to a financially troubled studio with an idea for a silent movie. In an effort to make the movie more marketable, they attempt to recruit a number of big name stars to appear, while the studio's creditors attempt to thwart them.

Whindersson criou sua La Cantina de Papel

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Not Another Teen Movie

On a bet, a gridiron hero at John Hughes High School sets out to turn a bespectacled plain Jane into a beautiful and popular prom queen in this outrageous send-up of the teen movies of the 1980s and '90s.

Election

Tracy Flick is running unopposed for this year’s high school student election. But Jim McAllister has a different plan. Partly to establish a more democratic election, and partly to satisfy some deep personal anger toward Tracy, Jim talks football player Paul Metzler to run for president as well.

L'Esprit de famille

A writer must face the sudden death of his father, but after the burial, the latter reappears to him. He will have to learn to live with this facetious companion, but difficult to explain the situation to his family, because he is the only one who can see him. This disturbing presence will create an earthquake in the family.

Undercover Brother

An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It

When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.

Defending Your Life

Is there love after death? After he dies suddenly, the hapless advertising executive Daniel Miller finds himself in Judgment City, a gleaming way station where the newly deceased must prove they lived a life of sufficient courage to advance in their journey through the universe. As the self-doubting Daniel struggles to make his case, a budding relationship with the uninhibited Julia offers him a chance to finally feel alive.

Ali G Indahouse

Ali G unwittingly becomes a pawn in the evil Chancellor's plot to overthrow the Prime Minister of Great Britain. However, instead of bringing the Prime Minister down, Ali is embraced by the nation as the voice of youth and 'realness', making the Prime Minister and his government more popular than ever.

The History of White People in America: Volume II

In this daring follow-up to The History of White People in America, comedian Martin Mull takes us on an in-depth look at such topics as White Religion, White Stress, White Politics, and White Crime.

UHF

The eccentric new manager of a UHF television channel tries to save the station from financial ruin with an odd array of programming.

CB4

A "rockumentary", covering the rise to fame of MC Gusto, Stab Master Arson, and Dead Mike: members of the rap group "CB4". We soon learn that these three are not what they seem and don't appear to know as much about rap music as they claim... but a lack of musical ability in an artist never hurts sales, does it? You've just got to play the part of a rap star...

Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber

Katya Livingston, a self-centered, obnoxious and conceited 28-year-old ad sales exec, won't let anything or anyone stand in her way in getting to the top of the San Francisco social ladder. When tax inspectors question her claims Katya is forced to keep a financial diary and finds time to add details about her friends, enemies and lovers all from her unique point of view.

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

To improve its relations with Muslim countries, the United States government sends comedian Albert Brooks to south Asia to write a report on what makes followers of Islam laugh.

Re:Human

A cure has been found. The zombie apocalypse has been stopped. Now, we follow four participants through a governmental program aiming at to reintroducing former zombies back into society.

Britannia Hospital

Britannia Hospital, an esteemed English institution, is marking its gala anniversary with a visit by the Queen Mother herself. But when investigative reporter Mick Travis arrives to cover the celebration, he finds the hospital under siege by striking workers, ruthless unions, violent demonstrators, racist aristocrats, an African cannibal dictator, and sinister human experiments.

Fat Slags

Leaving their hometown of Fulchester in the North of England, Sandra and Tracey head for the bright lights of London, shagging and boozing their way to fame and fortune.

Whatever You Say

Bastien, an ambitious young production assistant, catches the attention of Jean-Louis, a producer of high regard, and is granted a shot at his own television show.

Teachers

A teacher reconnects with an old student who is now an attorney representing a family who is suing the school for graduating their son who still cannot read or write. Amid the daily chaos of teaching in an inner city school, Alex Jurel tries to decide if he will lie at his deposition to protect the school or tell the truth and risk throwing away his career.

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael

Movie star Roxy Carmichael is abandoning the bright lights of Hollywood, Calif. and returning to her small Ohio hometown -- at least long enough to dedicate a city building. And now the whole town of Clyde is bracing for Carmichael's return, most of all her now-married old flame Denton Webb and troubled teen Dinky Bossetti. An orphan with few friends, Dinky is convinced that Carmichael is her birth mother, and that the actress will reclaim her when she returns.

Welcome Mr. Marshall!

A small Spanish town, Villar del Río, is alerted to the upcoming visit of American diplomats and its ruling townsmen begin preparations to impress the American visitors, in the hopes of benefiting under the Marshall Plan. Hoping to demonstrate the side of Spanish culture with which the visiting foreign officials would be more familiarized, the Castilian citizens don unfamiliar Andalusian costumes, hire a renowned flamenco performer, and re-decorate their town in Andalusian style, meantime waiting for their uncertain arrival.

The Ruling Class

When the Earl of Gurney dies in a cross-dressing accident, his schizophrenic son, Jack, inherits the Gurney estate. Jack is not the average nobleman; he sings and dances across the estate and thinks he is Jesus reincarnated. Believing that Jack is mentally unfit to own the estate, the Gurney family plots to steal Jack's inheritance. As their outrageous schemes fail, the family strives to cure Jack of his bizarre behavior, with disastrous results.

Shock Treatment

Brad and Janet are now married and on the rocks. Ostensibly to fix their marriage, the couple goes on the game show 'Marriage Maze' with the eccentric Bert Schnick, who suggests Brad be imprisoned in the local mental hospital. Meanwhile, Janet's star potential is skyrocketing but who is her mysterious benefactor, and who exactly are these doctors?

The Real Blonde

An aspiring actor and his girlfriend handle life's frustrations, while his friend seeks fulfillment with a blonde.

Tschugger - Der Lätscht Fall

The two cult cops from Valais have to deal with a simple sprayer case while the rest of the department has to solve the discovery of a charred body. At the same time, the Valais, nay, the whole world, is threatened with disaster and even the Pentagon, the US Department of Defense, is involved.

Der Herr Karl

The antihero "Mr. Karl" tells a "young person", the viewer, his life story while he sits at work in the warehouse of a delicatessen. The narrator increasingly turns out to be an opportunistic follower from the petty-bourgeois milieu, who maneuvered his way through life in the changing course of Austrian history from the end of the First World War to the end of the occupation in the 1950s.

Gatsby

In the heart of the Gobi Desert, a herd of Bactrian camels follows the well-walked paths of the camels that came before them, but one camel dreams of a greater purpose outside the routine. Gatsby follows a mysterious voice into the desert in search of adventure, but the brutality of nature leaves him with a difficult question: are his dreams legitimate or just teenage delusions of grandeur?

Psycho Beach Party

Chicklet is a sixteen-year old tomboy who's desperate to be part of the in-crowd of Malibu beach surfers. She's the typical American girl - except for one little problem: her personality is split into more slices than a pepperoni pizza.

Mumbo Jumbo

In a misguided attempt to do something for the war on terror, self-styled suburban warriors Gool, Rube and Simmo are ready to carry out their first operation, but things don't go quite as they planned.

The Visitor

London, today. A refugee washes up naked in a suitcase on the bank of the Thames. The enigmatic, sexually fluid stranger introduces himself to a bourgeois, upper-class family. He is invited to stay on as an employee. The Visitor soon seduces each member of the family in a series of explicit sexual encounters. He will turn their world upside down as they can redefine themselves in new, radical ways.

Friend of the World

After a catastrophic global war, a young filmmaker awakens in the carnage and seeks refuge in the only other survivor: an eccentric, ideologically opposed figure of the United States military. Together, they brave the toxic landscape in search of safety... and answers.

Happiness

The lives of several individuals intertwine as they go about their lives in their own unique ways, engaging in acts which society as a whole might find disturbing in a desperate search for human connection.

Strangers with Candy

A prequel to the critically acclaimed series featuring Jerri Blank, a 46 year old ex-junkie, ex-con who returns to high school in a bid to start her life over.

Freddy Got Fingered

Unemployed cartoonist Gord Brody moves back in with his parents Jim and Julie and younger brother Freddy. When his parents demand he leave, he retaliates by spreading rumors that Jim is sexually abusing Freddy.

Saved!

Mary is a good Christian girl who goes to a good Christian high school where she has good Christian friends and a perfect Christian boyfriend. Her life seems perfect, until the day that she finds out that her boyfriend may be gay — and that she’s pregnant.

The Bastards' Fig Tree

A trigger-happy Nationalist fears retribution from the son of a man he executed. To mollify the boy's anger, he takes a drastic step: he keeps constant watch over the fig tree the boy has planted at his father's gravesite. As the years pass, the man's lonely vigil makes him a tourist attraction, much to the chagrin of his former colleagues.

History of the World: Part I

An uproarious version of history that proves nothing is sacred – not even the Roman Empire, the French Revolution and the Spanish Inquisition.

1941

In the days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, panic grips California, where a military officer leads a mob chasing a Japanese sub.

The Big Bang

In 1995, Italy annihilates Libya, which destroys Israel. Africa bombs Germany, which in turn attacks France. Luxembourg conquers England. Sweden, Monte Carlo and Switzerland immolate themselves.The Russians decide to liquidate the Americans, who unleash their nuclear fleet, leaving only two continents on the verge of World War IV.

Lost

Set in Spanish colonial Philippines. Pedro is tasked to wed a wife whilst his activist friend is considering him to join the revolution. Through a raunchy and campy path of winning the love of his life, Pedro is met with a daunting revelation.

Josie and the Pussycats

Josie, Melody and Val are three small-town girl musicians determined to take their rock band out of their garage and straight to the top, while remaining true to their look, style and sound. They get a record deal which brings fame and fortune but soon realize they are pawns of two people who want to control the youth of America. They must clear their names, even if it means losing fame and fortune.

The Onion Movie

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.