Dunston Checks In (1996)

High School High

Richard Clark has just left the well-known Wellington Academy to teach at Marion Barry High School. Now, he will try to inspire the D-average students into making good grades and try to woo a fellow teacher.

First Kid

Some say that to be the leader of a country is one of the loneliest jobs in the world. But being the child of a world leader can be doubly so. Constantly surrounded by security officers, restricted in movements and having almost every waking moment carefully monitored makes normalcy an impossibility. No one knows this better than young Luke Davenport, the son of U.S. President Davenport. He vents his loneliness, frustration and feelings of isolation from family and friends by being a brat to his private Secret Service agent. When the agent snaps from the strain in front of the First Lady, a new agent is assigned to Luke. He turns out to be the enormous Sam Simms, a bit of a rogue who managed to rise through the ranks by sheer determination rather than strict adherence to Secret-Service protocol. At first, Luke tries all his old tricks upon Sam. But instead of getting angry, Sam seems to actually understand.

Bio-Dome

Bud and Doyle are a pair of aimless slackers with no real direction in life. While their environmentally-conscious girlfriends are passionate about saving the planet, the two couldn't care less. One day, they accidentally stumble into a high-stakes scientific experiment—a year-long mission in a sealed "Bio-Dome" with no contact with the outside world—and unwittingly become part of the project.

Like Someone in Love

An old man and a young woman meet in Tokyo. She knows nothing about him, he thinks he knows her. He welcomes her into his home, she offers him her body. But the web that is woven between them in the space of twenty four hours bears no relation to the circumstances of their encounter.

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle

Rocky and Bullwinkle have been living off the finances made from the reruns of their cartoon show. Boris and Natasha somehow manage to crossover into reality and team up with Fearless Leader, an evil criminal turned media mogul with some evil plans up his sleeve. Rocky and Bullwinkle must stop the three of them before they wreak havoc.

Inherit the Wind

Schoolteacher Bertram Cates is arrested for teaching his students Darwin's theory of evolution. The case receives national attention and one of the newspaper reporters, E.K. Hornbeck, arranges to bring in renowned defense attorney and atheist Henry Drummond to defend Cates. The prosecutor, Matthew Brady is a former presidential candidate, famous evangelist, and old adversary of Drummond.

Héctor el Father: Conocerás la verdad

This autobiography of Hector Delgado runs from his childhood to become one of the greatest exponents of the urban genre, but the results of that life did not please him and led him to try to take his life .After being victim of a firefight at a service station in Aguada, a city hall in Puerto Rico, he stopped earning at least two hundred American dollars for presentation and being "devout of Jesus"

Our Lips Are Sealed

Mary-Kate and Ashley star in this Down Under adventure filled with nonstop Aussie intrigue, laughs and romance. After running afoul of a notorious gangster, Mary-Kate and Ashley take refuge in the FBI Witness Protection Program. Unfortunately, the girls are uncontrollable blabbermouths and they blow their cover in town after town until there's only one hiding place left - Australia.

Jakob the Liar

In 1944 Poland, a Jewish shop keeper named Jakob is summoned to ghetto headquarters after being caught out after curfew. While waiting for the German Kommondant, Jakob overhears a German radio broadcast about Russian troop movements. Returned to the ghetto, the shopkeeper shares his information with a friend and then rumors fly that there is a secret radio within the ghetto.

Pete's Dragon

Pete, a young orphan, runs away to a Maine fishing town with his best friend a lovable, sometimes invisible dragon named Elliott! When they are taken in by a kind lighthouse keeper, Nora, and her father, Elliott's prank playing lands them in big trouble. Then, when crooked salesmen try to capture Elliott for their own gain, Pete must attempt a daring rescue.

The Player

A Hollywood studio executive is being sent death threats by a writer whose script he rejected - but which one?

Beauty Shop

Far from Chicago, hairdresser Gina Norris has relocated to Atlanta with her daughter and has quickly established herself as a rare talent in her profession. But after repeatedly butting heads with her shady, over-the-top boss, Jorge, Norris sets out to create her own salon -- even snagging a few of Jorge's employees and clients. Now, Jorge will do anything to shut her down.

Jodorowsky's Dune

Shot in France, England, Switzerland and the United States, this documentary covers director Alejandro Jodorowsky (El Topo, Holy Mountain, Santa Sangre) and his 1974 Quixotic attempt to adapt the seminal sci-fi novel Dune into a feature film. After spending 2 years and millions of dollars, the massive undertaking eventually fell apart, but the artists Jodorowsky assembled for the legendary project continued to work together. This group of artists, or his “warriors” as Jodorowsky named them, went on to define modern sci-fi cinema with such films as Alien, Blade Runner, Star Wars and Total Recall.

Jumanji

When siblings Judy and Peter discover an enchanted board game that opens the door to a magical world, they unwittingly invite Alan -- an adult who's been trapped inside the game for 26 years -- into their living room. Alan's only hope for freedom is to finish the game, which proves risky as all three find themselves running from giant rhinoceroses, evil monkeys and other terrifying creatures.

Tunnel

A man is on his way home when the poorly constructed tunnel he is driving through collapses, leaving him trapped leaving himself for the unexpected whilst emergency services struggle to help.

Dennis the Menace

Mr. Wilson's ever-present annoyance comes in the form of one mischievous kid named Dennis. But he'll need Dennis's tricks to uncover a collection of gold coins that go missing when a shady drifter named Switchblade Sam comes to town.

Duplex

When a young couple buys their dream home, they have no idea what the sweet little old lady upstairs is going to put them through!

Shallow Hal

After taking his dying father's advice, Hal dates only the embodiments of female physical perfection. But that all changes after Hal has an unexpected run-in with self-help guru Tony Robbins. Intrigued by Hal's shallowness, Robbins hypnotizes him into seeing the beauty that exists even in the least physically appealing women. Hal soon falls for Rosemary, but he doesn't realize that his gorgeous girlfriend is actually a 300-pound-not-so-hottie.

Casper

Casper is a kind young ghost who peacefully haunts a mansion in Maine. When specialist James Harvey arrives to communicate with Casper and his fellow spirits, he brings along his teenage daughter, Kat. Casper quickly falls in love with Kat, but their budding relationship is complicated not only by his transparent state, but also by his troublemaking apparition uncles and their mischievous antics.

The Golden Compass

After overhearing a shocking secret, precocious orphan Lyra Belacqua trades her carefree existence roaming the halls of Jordan College for an otherworldly adventure in the far North, unaware that it's part of her destiny.

Hook

The boy who wasn't supposed to grow up—Peter Pan—does just that, becoming a soulless corporate lawyer whose workaholism could cost him his wife and kids. During his trip to see Granny Wendy in London, the vengeful Capt. Hook kidnaps Peter's kids and forces Peter to return to Neverland.

Constantine

John Constantine has literally been to Hell and back. When he teams up with a policewoman to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister, their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles.

The Blind Side

The story of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family.

A Quiet Place: Day One

As New York City is invaded by alien creatures who hunt by sound, a woman named Sam fights to survive with her cat.

Beetlejuice

A newly dead New England couple seeks help from a deranged demon exorcist to scare an affluent New York family out of their home.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

An alien is left behind on Earth and saved by the 10-year-old Elliot who decides to keep him hidden in his home. While a task force hunts for the extra-terrestrial, Elliot, his brother, and his little sister Gertie form an emotional bond with their new friend, and try to help him find his way home.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

For Peter Parker, life is busy. Between taking out the bad guys as Spider-Man and spending time with the person he loves, Gwen Stacy, high school graduation cannot come quickly enough. Peter has not forgotten about the promise he made to Gwen’s father to protect her by staying away, but that is a promise he cannot keep. Things will change for Peter when a new villain, Electro, emerges, an old friend, Harry Osborn, returns, and Peter uncovers new clues about his past.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

A young boy wins a tour through the most magnificent chocolate factory in the world, led by the world's most unusual candy maker.

Spider-Man

After being bitten by a genetically altered spider at Oscorp, nerdy but endearing high school student Peter Parker is endowed with amazing powers to become the superhero known as Spider-Man.

Barbie

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Humanity finds a mysterious object buried beneath the lunar surface and sets off to find its origins with the help of HAL 9000, the world's most advanced super computer.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Young hobbit Frodo Baggins, after inheriting a mysterious ring from his uncle Bilbo, must leave his home in order to keep it from falling into the hands of its evil creator. Along the way, a fellowship is formed to protect the ringbearer and make sure that the ring arrives at its final destination: Mt. Doom, the only place where it can be destroyed.

Mission: Impossible

When Ethan Hunt, the leader of a crack espionage team whose perilous operation has gone awry with no explanation, discovers that a mole has penetrated the CIA, he's surprised to learn that he's the prime suspect. To clear his name, Hunt now must ferret out the real double agent and, in the process, even the score.

Pulp Fiction

A burger-loving hit man, his philosophical partner, a drug-addled gangster's moll and a washed-up boxer converge in this sprawling, comedic crime caper. Their adventures unfurl in three stories that ingeniously trip back and forth in time.

A Quiet Place

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

Forrest Gump

A man with a low IQ has accomplished great things in his life and been present during significant historic events—in each case, far exceeding what anyone imagined he could do. But despite all he has achieved, his one true love eludes him.

Snowpiercer

In a future where a failed global-warming experiment kills off most life on the planet, a class system evolves aboard the Snowpiercer; a train that travels around the globe via a perpetual-motion engine.

The Gray Man

When a shadowy CIA agent uncovers damning agency secrets, he's hunted across the globe by a sociopathic rogue operative who's put a bounty on his head.

The Wing or the Thigh?

Charles Duchemin, a well-known gourmet and publisher of a famous restaurant guide, is waging a war against fast food entrepreneur Tri- catel to save the French art of cooking. After having agreed to appear on a talk show to show his skills in naming food and wine by taste, he is confronted with two disasters: his son wants to become a clown rather than a restaurant tester and he, the famous Charles Duchemin, has lost his taste!

A Monster Calls

12-year-old Conor encounters an ancient tree monster who proceeds to help him cope with his mother's terminal illness and being bullied in school.

L'Esprit de famille

A writer must face the sudden death of his father, but after the burial, the latter reappears to him. He will have to learn to live with this facetious companion, but difficult to explain the situation to his family, because he is the only one who can see him. This disturbing presence will create an earthquake in the family.

Billy Elliot

County Durham, England, 1984. The miners' strike has started and the police have started coming up from Bethnal Green, starting a class war with the lower classes suffering. Caught in the middle of the conflict is 11-year old Billy Elliot, who, after leaving his boxing club for the day, stumbles upon a ballet class and finds out that he's naturally talented. He practices with his teacher Mrs. Wilkinson for an upcoming audition in Newcastle-upon Tyne for the royal Ballet school in London.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

In 1938, an art collector appeals to eminent archaeologist Dr. Indiana Jones to embark on a search for the Holy Grail. Indy learns that a medieval historian has vanished while searching for it, and the missing man is his own father, Dr. Henry Jones Sr.. He sets out to rescue his father by following clues in the old man's notebook, which his father had mailed to him before he went missing. Indy arrives in Venice, where he enlists the help of a beautiful academic, Dr. Elsa Schneider, along with Marcus Brody and Sallah. Together they must stop the Nazis from recovering the power of eternal life and taking over the world!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Set during the Cold War, the Soviets—led by sword-wielding Irina Spalko—are in search of a crystal skull which has supernatural powers related to a mystical Lost City of Gold. Indy is coerced to head to Peru at the behest of a young man whose friend—and Indy's colleague—Professor Oxley has been captured for his knowledge of the skull's whereabouts.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

A surprise visit from Spock's father provides a startling revelation: McCoy is harboring Spock's living essence.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Two warriors in pursuit of a stolen sword and a notorious fugitive are led to an impetuous, physically-skilled, teenage nobleman's daughter, who is at a crossroads in her life.

Brave Father Online - Our Story of Final Fantasy XIV

Akio wishes he had a better relationship with his reserved father Akira. One day Akira suddenly quits his job and retires without giving out any explanation to the family. Thinking it could be a good tool to be close to his father, Akio gives him software of online game "Final Fantasy XIV". By teaching his father how to play the game and secretly interacting with him as an anonymous online avatar, Akio hopes to know his father better through the adventures with other players in the game; little does the young man know what Akira is going through...

Kolya

After a fictitious marriage with a Russian emigrant, Cellisten Louka, a Czech man, must suddenly take responsibility for her son. However, it’s not long before the communication barrier is broken between the two new family members.

Transamerica

A transgender woman takes an unexpected journey when she learns that she had a son, now a teenage runaway hustling on the streets of New York.

Wild Gals of the Naked West

An old geezer recalls some of the antics of the citizens of his Western town, more wild and woolly than Tombstone or Dodge City. In this town, they shoot like Stormtroopers, the women seek new meat, and practical jokers abound.

King of California

Charlie gets released from an insane asylum and moves in with Miranda, the young daughter he left behind. Charlie believes that there is treasure hidden beneath the local Costco, so he puts together a plan to unearth the loot. By convincing Miranda to quit her job at McDonald's and instead work at the wholesale store, he is able to obtain a key. Although Miranda is skeptical, she helps her father with his irrational quest.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

It's Christmastime, and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration. But things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen, and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going, knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon.

The Kid

A tramp cares for a boy after he's abandoned as a newborn by his mother. Later the mother has a change of heart and aches to be reunited with her son.

Dorm Daze 2

The gang from Dorm Daze is back, but this time they're on a cruise ship on a tropical voyage through the high seas. The cruise makes an educational stop at the island of San Paradiso, where the students are supposed to explore an important archaeological site. Things go from normal to crazy as their visit coincides with every other college's spring break. The moment the boat docks, classes are over! For these Billingsley students, their Semester at Sea will be an adventure no one will ever forget.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

This time around Edmund and Lucy Pevensie, along with their pesky cousin Eustace Scrubb find themselves swallowed into a painting and on to a fantastic Narnian ship headed for the very edges of the world.

The Little Mermaid

This colorful adventure tells the story of an impetuous mermaid princess named Ariel who falls in love with the very human Prince Eric and puts everything on the line for the chance to be with him. Memorable songs and characters -- including the villainous sea witch Ursula.

Mad Dog and Glory

Wayne Dobie is a shy cop whose low-key demeanor has earned him the affectionate nickname "Mad Dog." After Mad Dog saves the life of Frank Milo, a crime boss and aspiring stand-up comedian, he's offered the company of an attractive young waitress named Glory for a week. At first both are uneasy about the arrangement, but they eventually fall in love. However, the situation becomes complicated when Milo demands Glory back.

The Karate Kid Part III

Despondent over the closing of his karate school, Cobra Kai teacher John Kreese joins a ruthless businessman and martial artist to get revenge on Daniel and Mr. Miyagi.

Little Nicky

After the lord of darkness decides he will not cede his throne to any of his three sons, the two most powerful of them escape to Earth to create a kingdom for themselves. This action closes the portal filtering sinful souls to Hell and causes Satan to wither away. He must send his most weak but beloved son, Little Nicky, to Earth to return his brothers to Hell.

Hot Rod

For Rod Kimble, performing stunts is a way of life, even though he is rather accident-prone. Poor Rod cannot even get any respect from his stepfather, Frank, who beats him up in weekly sparring matches. When Frank falls ill, Rod devises his most outrageous stunt yet to raise money for Frank's operation -- and then Rod will kick Frank's butt.

Don't Think About It

Still an unsuccessful punk rock musician at 36, Stefano returns to his hometown in the countryside to help with his family's business.

Milk Money

Three young boys pool their money and pay V, a kindhearted prostitute, to strip for them. Afterward, she drives them home to the suburbs -- but then her car breaks down. It's just as well, though, because a mobster named Waltzer is after her, and V realizes the suburbs are the perfect place to hide. But things get a lot more complicated when V falls in love with Tom, a single father who is unaware of her real profession.

8 ½ Women

Following the death of a mother, a father and son open up their very own harem in their Genevan estate after watching 8½.

The Santa Clause

On Christmas Eve, divorced dad Scott Calvin and his son discover Santa Claus has fallen off their roof. When Scott takes the reins of the magical sleigh, he finds he is now the new Santa, and must convince a world of disbelievers, including himself.

Nanny McPhee

Widower Cedric Brown hires Nanny McPhee to care for his seven rambunctious children, who have chased away all previous nannies. Taunted by Simon and his siblings, Nanny McPhee uses mystical powers to instill discipline. And when the children's great-aunt and benefactor, Lady Adelaide Stitch, threatens to separate the kids, the family pulls together under the guidance of Nanny McPhee.

Little Man Tate

Dede is a sole parent trying to bring up her son Fred. When it is discovered that Fred is a genius, she is determined to ensure that Fred has all the opportunities that he needs, and that he is not taken advantage of by people who forget that his extremely powerful intellect is harboured in the body and emotions of a child.

View from the Top

No one thought Donna would go very far. But when she sets her sights on becoming a first-class international flight attendant, Donna throws caution to the wind and takes off in pursuit of her dream. The ride is anything but smooth, however, and Donna's laugh-packed journey of a lifetime is rocked by more turbulence than she bargained for.

Spawn

After being murdered by corrupt colleagues in a covert government agency, Al Simmons makes a pact with the devil to be resurrected to see his beloved wife Wanda. In exchange for his return to Earth, Simmons agrees to lead Hell's Army in the destruction of mankind.

Bringing Down the House

Uptight lawyer Peter Sanderson wants to dive back into dating after his divorce and has a hard time meeting the right women. He tries online dating and lucks out when he starts chatting with a fellow lawyer. The two agree to meet in the flesh, but the woman he meets — an escaped African-American convict named Charlene — is not what he expected. Peter is freaked out, but Charlene tries to convince him to take her case and prove her innocence. Along the way, she wreaks havoc on his middle-class life as he gets a lesson in learning to lighten up.

Happiness

The lives of several individuals intertwine as they go about their lives in their own unique ways, engaging in acts which society as a whole might find disturbing in a desperate search for human connection.

Elf

When young Buddy falls into Santa's gift sack on Christmas Eve, he's transported back to the North Pole and raised as a toy-making elf by Santa's helpers. But as he grows into adulthood, he can't shake the nagging feeling that he doesn't belong. Buddy vows to visit Manhattan and find his real dad, a workaholic.

Emil and the Detectives

The twelve-year-old Emil and his father are haunted by bad luck. To take a break from a series of family disasters, Emil is allowed to spend a few days with a friend of the family, the female priest Hummel in Berlin. In the train he runs across the slick Max Grundeis who anaesthetizes Emil and steals his savings of 1500 DM. When he finally arrives in Berlin, Emil and a gang of street kids, led by the cheeky girl Pony Hütchen, try to find the gangster, who haunts the posh Hotel Adlon as a hotel thief. Meanwhile, to prevent anyone from finding out about Emil's mishap, Gypsi, a member of the gang of kids, passes himself off as Emil, thus wreaking havoc on the home of the priest.

Friday

Craig and Smokey are two guys in Los Angeles hanging out on their porch on a Friday afternoon, smoking and drinking, looking for something to do.

Jingle All the Way

Howard Langston, a salesman for a mattress company, is constantly kept busy at his job, disappointing his son. After he misses his son's karate exposition, Howard vows to make it up to him by buying an action figure of his son's favorite television hero for Christmas. Unfortunately for Howard, it is Christmas Eve, and every store is sold out of Turbo Man. Now, Howard must travel all over town and compete with everybody else to find a Turbo Man action figure.

Sydney White

College freshman Sydney White arrives at Southern Atlantic University, determined to pledge her late mother's sorority. Unfortunately, she finds that the sisterhood has changed since her parent's day. Banished to a condemned house, Sydney joins forces with seven outcasts to take over the student government and win equal rights for nerd and noted alike.

The Tuxedo

Cabbie-turned-chauffeur Jimmy Tong learns there is really only one rule when you work for playboy millionaire Clark Devlin : Never touch Devlin's prized tuxedo. But when Devlin is temporarily put out of commission in an explosive accident, Jimmy puts on the tux and soon discovers that this extraordinary suit may be more black belt than black tie. Paired with a partner as inexperienced as he is, Jimmy becomes an unwitting secret agent.

Overboard

Heiress Joanna Stayton hires carpenter Dean Proffitt to build a closet on her yacht—and refuses to pay him for the project when it's done. But after Joanna accidentally falls overboard and loses her memory, Dean sees an opportunity to get even.

CJ7

A poor construction worker, who struggles to keep his son in private school, mistakes an orb he finds in a junkjard for a toy which proves to be much, much more once the young boy starts to play with it.

Mercenary for Justice

Mercenary John Seeger is one of the best in the business. John and his crew battle some soldiers on Galmoral Island in Southern Africa as they're trying to rescue the French Ambassador -- there's a coup going on. Some of John's soldiers unload their machine guns into the Ambassador and his family, blowing the mission and getting his best friend Radio Jones killed. He heads back to the US and visits Radio's wife Shondra to tells her the news, and then promises that he'll take care of her and her son Eddie. But shortly after he makes that vow, Shondra and Eddie get kidnapped.

Man of the House

Texas Ranger Roland Sharp is assigned to protect the only witnesses to the murder of a key figure in the prosecution of a drug kingpin -- a group of University of Texas cheerleaders. Sharp must now go undercover as an assistant cheerleading coach and move in with the young women.

A Dennis the Menace Christmas

A Dennis The Menace version of A Christmas Carol where Mr. Wilson plays his own version of Scrooge. While Dennis has problems of his own with the neighborhood bully, he does his best to try and give Mr. Wilson the Christmas Spirit. Dennis causes his usual damage and Mr. Wilson ends up breaking Dennis' spirit. An Angel of Christmas Past Present and Future steps in to help save Christmas for the Mitchells, the Wilsons, and everyone else.

Millions

Two boys, still grieving the death of their mother, find themselves the unwitting benefactors of a bag of bank robbery loot in the week before the United Kingdom switches its official currency to the Euro. What's a kid to do?

Beyond Skyline

Detective Mark Corley storms his way onto an alien spaceship to rescue his estranged son. When the ship crashes in Southeast Asia, he forges an alliance with a band of survivors to take back the planet once and for all.

Waiting...

Employees at a Bennigan's-like restaurant (called, creatively enough, Shenanigan's), kill time before their real lives get started. But while they wait, they'll have to deal with picky customers who want their steak cooked to order and enthusiastic managers who want to build the perfect wait staff. Luckily, these employees have effective revenge tactics.

Outsourced

After his entire department is outsourced, an American novelty products salesman heads to India to train his replacement.

The Hudsucker Proxy

A naive business graduate is installed as president of a manufacturing company as part of a stock scam.

Cannonball Run II

When a wealthy sheikh puts up $1 million in prize money for a cross-country car race, there is one person crazy enough to hit the road hard with wheels spinning fast. Legendary driver J.J. McClure enters the competition along with his friend Victor and together they set off across the American landscape in a madcap action-adventure destined to test their wits and automobile skills.

Soldier of Fortune

Medieval soldier of fortune Ettore is traveling through Europe with his partners looking for a fight where they can earn some money. When they come across a Spanish castle under siege by the French army, Ettore bides his time to determine which side is the winning one. This is at first the French, but the treatment he receives from them is unpleasant enough to make him change his mind and turn to the Spanish side. Somehow, Ettore must rally the weakened Spanish troops to battle their enemy long enough for reinforcements to arrive.

Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War

When two brothers are forced to fight in the Korean War, the elder decides to take the riskiest missions if it will help shield the younger from battle.

The Two Missionaries

Two missionaries come into conflict with the authorities when they turn their missionary into a parrot farm. The Bishop of Maracaibo calls them his 'black sheep' and the Monsignore has been called to check on their behavior. Like usual, our heroes help the poor to defend themselves and provoke some funny fist fights in the process.

Léolo

The story of an imaginative boy who pretends he is the child of a sperm-laden Sicilian tomato upon which his mother accidentally fell.