Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came? (1970)

(5) based on 5 votes
War is brewing between the soldiers at an otherwise quiet army base and the civilians of a nearby Southern town. Brian Keith is an officer who tries to keep the peace. However, peace is hard to come by with Ernest Borgnine as a stereotypical dumb hick sheriff who's quick to call in the local militia. Tony Curtis plays a skirt-chasing sergeant who can't stay out of trouble and soon lands in jail. Brian Keith borrows a tank to release his friend from jail. Things get more chaotic after that.
Directors
Release Date
Sep 11, 1970
Runtime
01h 53m
Genre
Available in streaming on

War is brewing between the soldiers at an otherwise quiet army base and the civilians of a nearby Southern town. Brian Keith is an officer who tries to keep the peace. However, peace is hard to come by with Ernest Borgnine as a stereotypical dumb hick sheriff who's quick to call in the local militia. Tony Curtis plays a skirt-chasing sergeant who can't stay out of trouble and soon lands in jail. Brian Keith borrows a tank to release his friend from jail. Things get more chaotic after that.

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5.0
New+Adventures+of+Get+Rich+Quick+Wallingford
New Adventures of Get Rich Quick Wallingford

1931

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110% Honest

Former pro cyclist Kim Karlsen (39) holds a press conference admitting use of performance enhancing drugs in her career. Rather than accepting the consequences of her actions, our antiheroine sticks to her guns and refuses to alter her mindset.
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6.1
110%25+Honest
110% Honest

2019

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The Patriot

After proving himself on the field of battle in the French and Indian War, Benjamin Martin wants nothing more to do with such things, preferring the simple life of a farmer. But when his son Gabriel enlists in the army to defend their new nation, America, against the British, Benjamin reluctantly returns to his old life to protect his son.
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7.2
The+Patriot
The Patriot

2000

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The Gift

Annie Wilson, young widow and mother of three, makes her living foretelling others' futures⁠—though her own has become cloudier than even she can see. Threatened by a client's violent husband and plagued by visions of a missing local woman, Annie finds herself pulled into a thicket of lies and deception in which her extraordinary gift may ultimately get her killed.
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6.5
The+Gift
Grave Decisions

In this black comedy set in small-town Bavaria, 11-year-old Sebastian thinks you can never be too young to be a murderer. He's convinced that he killed his mother on the day he was born and is certain he's already been condemned to purgatory. Deciding he might be able to knock off a few years of his sentence by doing good deeds, Sebastian sets out to find a wife for his father Lorenz. When Lorenz and Sebastian's schoolteacher Veronika fall madly in love with each other, it seems the heavens must be smiling. There's just one hitch: Veronika is married.
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7.0
Grave+Decisions
Grave Decisions

2006

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Dogma

An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and reenter Heaven.
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6.9
Dogma
Death at a Funeral

A myriad of outrageous calamities befalls an eccentric English clan with more than a few skeletons in its closets when the family's patriarch dies an unexpected death.
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6.9
Death+at+a+Funeral
Death at a Funeral

2007

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Sounds of Sand

On the one hand, there’s the desert eating away at the land. The endless dry season, the lack of water. On the other there’s the threat of war. The village well has run dry. The livestock is dying. Trusting their instinct, most of the villagers leave and head south. Rahne, the only literate one, decides to head east with his three children and Mouna, his wife. A few sheep, some goats, and Chamelle, a dromedary, are their only riches. A tale of exodus, quest, hope and fatality.
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6.1
Sounds+of+Sand
Sounds of Sand

2007

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Joint Security Area

Two North Korean soldiers are killed in the border area between North and South Korea, prompting an investigation by a neutral body. The sergeant is the shooter, but the lead investigator, a Swiss-Korean woman, receives differing accounts from the two sides.
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7.8
Joint+Security+Area
Joint Security Area

2000

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Upside Down Pineapple

The true story of her best friend's mysterious murder would make the perfect prime time miniseries, but can former queen bee Penelope Pierce convince her reluctant clique to sign over their life rights?
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Upside+Down+Pineapple
Upside Down Pineapple

2024

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Belle Époque

In 1931, a young soldier deserts from the army and falls into a country farm, where he is welcomed by the owner due to his political ideas. Manolo has four daughters, Fernando likes all of them and they like him, so he has to decide which one to love.
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6.7
Belle+%C3%89poque
Belle Époque

1992

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The Ladykillers

Five oddball criminals planning a bank robbery rent rooms on a cul-de-sac from an octogenarian widow under the pretext that they are classical musicians.
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7.3
The+Ladykillers
The Ladykillers

1955

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A Killing Affair

Peter Weller stars as Baton Morris, a drifter suspected of murder, in this crime drama. A widow (Kathy Baker) living in West Virginia takes in the man (Weller) whom she believes murdered her husband. As she spends more time with him, she begins to fall for him, but continues to question whether or not she can trust him. Directed by David Saperstein and based on a novel by Robert Houston, A Killing Affair features twists and turns up until the end.
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6.0
A+Killing+Affair
A Killing Affair

1985

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Testosterone

Dean has been stumped for some time in his attempt to produce a follow-up to "I was a Teenage Speed Freak," his incredibly successful graphic novel. His fans expect great things from him and his editor, Louise, is hounding him. Instead of working, however, Dean spends his time searching for his Argentine lover Pablo, who went out one night for cigarettes and never came back.
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5.4
Testosterone
Testosterone

2003

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Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

Believe it or not, even Smalltown USA still has people who are unfulfilled and unrelieved in the midst of plenty. Levonna and Lamar could have the perfect relationship, were it not for Lamar's obsession with rear entry.
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5.3
Beneath+the+Valley+of+the+Ultra-Vixens
Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

1979

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Kontroll

A tale about a strange young man, Bulcsú, and the fellow ticket inspectors on his team who work aboard the subterranean Budapest Metro. A tale about racing along the tracks, and about a mysterious serial killer. And a tale about love.
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7.2
Kontroll
Top of the Food Chain

An isolated Canadian town (populated by the weirdest group of people this side of Saturn) has seen its share of problems. First the nut factory closed, then the CATV antenna stopped broadcasting, and now something is gruesomely devouring the townsfolk! Can visiting atomic scientist (and expert on "cool fusion") Dr. Karel Lamonte solve the mystery before everyone disappears?
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5.2
Top+of+the+Food+Chain
Top of the Food Chain

1999

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Arachnophobia

A large spider from the jungles of South America is accidentally transported in a crate with a dead body to America where it mates with a local spider. Soon after, the residents of a small California town disappear as the result of spider bites from the deadly spider offspring. It's up to a couple of doctors with the help of an insect exterminator to annihilate these eight legged freaks.
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6.4
Arachnophobia
Arachnophobia

1990

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Life Stinks

A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with a homeless woman.
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5.6
Life+Stinks
Life Stinks

1991

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L'Esprit de famille

A writer must face the sudden death of his father, but after the burial, the latter reappears to him. He will have to learn to live with this facetious companion, but difficult to explain the situation to his family, because he is the only one who can see him. This disturbing presence will create an earthquake in the family.
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5.6
L%27Esprit+de+famille
L'Esprit de famille

2020

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Sylvio

A small town gorilla joins a local TV program and a series of on-air mishaps threaten to shatter his identity, sending him on an adventure of self-discovery where reality and fantasy start to blend.
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6.8
Sylvio