Sad Jokes (2024)

Attack on Titan

As viable water is depleted on Earth, a mission is sent to Saturn's moon Titan to retrieve sustainable H2O reserves from its alien inhabitants. But just as the humans acquire the precious resource, they are attacked by Titan rebels, who don't trust that the Earthlings will leave in peace.

Box

The execution was scheduled and the last meal consumed. The coolness of the poisons entering the blood system slowed the heart rate and sent him on the way to Judgement. He had paid for his crime with years on Death Row waiting for this moment and now he would pay for them again as the judgment continued..

Wagakki Band Japan Tour 2019 REACT -New Chapter-

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Main Atal Hoon

Statesman and poet Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee's eloquence and vision shaped India's destiny. A look at his remarkable life as he led his country through a challenging period of change and development as the 10th Prime Minister of India.

Murder, She Baked: A Plum Pudding Mystery

A young bakeshop owner’s holiday season takes a surprising turn when she finds a body at a local Christmas tree lot and winds up involved in a dangerous murder investigation. With colorful characters popping up as suspects, shady business practices uncovered at the tree lot and holiday romance in the air, the young baker-turned-sleuth must race against time to track down the killer and save the Christmas season.

Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Mara

Once known for his intellectual prowess, a retired professor (Anupam Kher) begins experiencing memory gaps and periods of forgetfulness. But while he tries to laugh it off, it soon becomes clear that the symptoms are a sign of a more serious illness, prompting his grown daughter (Urmila Matondkar) to move in as his caretaker. Meanwhile, as his mind regresses, he recalls a traumatic childhood memory involving the death of Mahatma Gandhi.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

Mothra and her fairies return to Japan to warn mankind that they must return Kiryu to the sea, for the dead must not be disturbed. However Godzilla has survived to menace Japan leaving Kiryu as the nation's only defense.

How I Unleashed World War II, Part II: Following the Arms

After escaping across Europe from Stalag camp, Dolas's ride to Cyprus is stopped when his ship in sunk by an Italian submarine. Although he and some of his fellow sailors are rescued by an Allied ship, they find themselves conscripted into the French Foreign Legion in Beirut, Dolas becoming a cook.

Moscow Suburbs Elegy

While people's artist of the USSR Sergey Cherkassky "fights" with the role of king Lear, trying to understand the psychology and actions of Shakespeare's character, his own large family presents him with one riddle after another. His daughter Elena, who broke off her unsuccessful marriage, falls in love with rock musician Dean Makarov. The grandfather does not know that the son of his late daughter - in-law Sonia is gay, who is madly in love with the same Dean. All Sonya's daughter, Lala, "twists" the love with a student Vakhtangov school, the future actor Misha, but dreams of a luxurious life abroad. Son of Sergei Andreevich, father of Vitya and Lyali - Andrey - General, Hero of Russia, serving in Chechnya.

Pamela, A Love Story

In her own words, through personal video and diaries, Pamela Anderson shares the story of her rise to fame, rocky romances and infamous sex tape scandal.

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Flash Back 2012

Flash Back 2012 is Minmay's farewell concert. Featuring some of her best songs, the music is performed over various scenes and events taken from the first Macross television series as well as Macross: Do You Remember Love film. Also included is a newly animated closing sequence showing the launch of Misa's colony vessel, the Megaroad-01, into space.

Main Aurr Mrs Khanna

Three people, each having different aspirations from life, are caught in a tangle of emotions and don’t know the way out. There’s a husband and wife with love eroding from their life. And there’s a single, happy-go-lucky dude who falls in love with the wife.

Main Tera Hero

Seenu loves Sunaina but they're chased by a stalking cop, an infatuated beauty and her mafia don dad - can Seenu's heroics work?

Chain Reaction

A prison bus with over a dozen criminals on board has an accident and rams another car, in which Dr. Douglas Madsen was on his way home. Most of the prisoners die. Four of them survive, one of them severely injured. After having killed all the guards, they head for the woods. They take Dr. Douglas Madsen hostage. Suddenly a huge house appears in the middle of the woods. The leader of the group, Arthur, emphasizes that he will kill Douglas and every single member of the "family" if his wounded brother would die. Meanwhile some members of the family show strange behavior, and very soon mayhem breaks loose.

Coming Home

In 1968 California, a Marine officer's wife falls in love with a former high school classmate who suffered a paralyzing combat injury in the war.

Me Before You

A small town girl is caught between dead-end jobs. A high-profile, successful man becomes wheelchair bound following an accident. The man decides his life is not worth living until the girl is hired for six months to be his new caretaker. Worlds apart and trapped together by circumstance, the two get off to a rocky start. But the girl becomes determined to prove to the man that life is worth living and as they embark on a series of adventures together, each finds their world changing in ways neither of them could begin to imagine.

Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself

The strange comedy film of two close brothers; one, Wilbur, who wants to kill himself, and the other, Harbour, who tries to prevent this. When their father dies leaving them his bookstore they meet a woman who makes their lives a bit better yet with a bit more trouble as well.

K-PAX

Prot is a patient at a mental hospital who claims to be from a far away planet. His psychiatrist tries to help him, only to begin to doubt his own explanations.

Mr. Jones

The story about the relationship between a manic depressive man, Mr. Jones, and the female doctor who takes more than a professional interest in his treatment.

The Mothman Prophecies

Reporter John Klein is plunged into a world of impossible terror and unthinkable chaos when fate draws him to a sleepy West Virginia town whose residents are being visited by a great winged shape that sows hideous nightmares and fevered visions.

Earth Girls Are Easy

In this musical comedy, Valerie is dealing with her philandering fiancé, Ted, when she finds that a trio of aliens have crashed their spaceship into her swimming pool. Once the furry beings are shaved at her girlfriend's salon, the women discover three handsome men underneath. After absorbing the native culture via television, the spacemen are ready to hit the dating scene in 1980s Los Angeles.

2nd Miracle in Cell No. 7

As a group of cellmates continues to protect the daughter of their peer, they tackle a new challenge when authorities thwart her adoption by caretakers.

Sicko

A documentary about the corrupt health care system in The United States who's main goal is to make profit even if it means losing people’s lives. "The more people you deny health insurance the more money we make" is the business model for health care providers in America.

The Distances

Olivia, Eloy, Guille and Anna travel to Berlin to pay a surprise visit to their friend Comas. His welcome is not as they expected and during the weekend their friendship is put to the test. Together they discover that time and distance can change everything.

Christmas at the Ranch

When Haley Hollis returns to her family ranch to try and save it from closure, she wasn't banking on spending so much time with ranch hand Kate - or falling for her.

The Flame Within

Psychiatrist finds herself falling for her patient.

Click

A married workaholic, Michael Newman doesn't have time for his wife and children, not if he's to impress his ungrateful boss and earn a well-deserved promotion. So when he meets Morty, a loopy sales clerk, he gets the answer to his prayers: a magical remote that allows him to bypass life's little distractions with increasingly hysterical results.

John Q

John Quincy Archibald is a father and husband whose son is diagnosed with an enlarged heart and then finds out he cannot receive a transplant because HMO insurance will not cover it. Therefore, he decides to take a hospital full of patients hostage until the hospital puts his son's name on the donor's list.

Bringing Out the Dead

Once called "Father Frank" for his efforts to rescue lives, Frank Pierce sees the ghosts of those he failed to save around every turn. He has tried everything he can to get fired, calling in sick, delaying taking calls where he might have to face one more victim he couldn't help, yet cannot quit the job on his own.

Charlie Bartlett

Awkward teenager Charlie Bartlett has trouble fitting in at a new high school. Charlie needs some friends fast, and decides that the best way to find them is to appoint himself the resident psychiatrist. He becomes one of the most popular guys in school by doling out advice and, occasionally, medication, to the student body.

12 Days with God

A man puts his faith in God when complications arise from two surgeries to remove a cancerous growth from behind his eye.

Grbavica: The Land of My Dreams

A woman and her daughter struggle to make their way through the aftermath of the Balkan war.

Harold and Maude

The young Harold lives in his own world of suicide-attempts and funeral visits to avoid the misery of his current family and home environment. Harold meets an 80-year-old woman named Maude who also lives in her own world yet one in which she is having the time of her life. When the two opposites meet they realize that their differences don’t matter and they become best friends and love each other.

Garden State

Andrew returns to his hometown for the funeral of his mother, a journey that reconnects him with past friends. The trip coincides with his decision to stop taking his powerful antidepressants. A chance meeting with Sam - a girl also suffering from various maladies - opens up the possibility of rekindling emotional attachments, confronting his psychologist father, and perhaps beginning a new life.

Summer in Berlin

An intimate study of two women friends who come to each other because of troubles with everyday life and with men and thus try to enjoy a life based on their ideas.

8½

Guido Anselmi, a film director, finds himself creatively barren at the peak of his career. Urged by his doctors to rest, Anselmi heads for a luxurious resort, but a sorry group gathers—his producer, staff, actors, wife, mistress, and relatives—each one begging him to get on with the show. In retreat from their dependency, he fantasizes about past women and dreams of his childhood.

Sissi: The Fateful Years of an Empress

After a wonderful time in Hungary Sissi falls extremely ill and must retreat to a Mediterranean climate to rest. The young empress’ mother takes her from Austria to recover in Madeira.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

A petty criminal fakes insanity to serve his sentence in a mental ward rather than prison. He soon finds himself as a leader to the other patients—and an enemy to the cruel, domineering nurse who runs the ward.

Requiem

Michaela, an epileptic, enrolls in college to study education. She goes off her medication and soon begins hearing voices and seeing apparitions that tell her to avoid religious objects, although she is devoutly Roman Catholic. One priest scoffs at the idea that Michaela could be possessed by demons, but a younger pastor arranges an exorcism for the young woman.

Wintersleepers

Young blonde translator Rebecca lives with her boyfriend ski instructor Marco in a mountain villa owned by her friend, nurse Laura. Rene, local cinema projectionist, steals Marco's car and gets into a car crash with local Theo, whose daughter, after being in coma for a time, dies. Rene suffers from partial short term memory loss and starts a relationship with Laura. Meanwhile Marco is looking for the man who stole his car and Theo - for the man who killed his daughter...

Lolita

Humbert Humbert is a middle-aged British novelist who is both appalled by and attracted to the vulgarity of American culture. When he comes to stay at the boarding house run by Charlotte Haze, he soon becomes obsessed with Lolita, the woman's teenaged daughter.

Umberto D.

When elderly pensioner Umberto Domenico Ferrari returns to his boarding house from a protest calling for a hike in old-age pensions, his landlady demands her 15,000-lire rent by the end of the month or he and his small dog will be turned out onto the street. Unable to get the money in time, Umberto fakes illness to get sent to a hospital, giving his beloved dog to the landlady's pregnant and abandoned maid for temporary safekeeping.

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

It’s 1974 and Sam Bicke has lost everything. His wife leaves him with his three kids, his boss fires him, his brother turns away from him, and the bank won’t give him any money to start anew. He tries to find someone to blame for his misfortunes and comes up with the President of the United States who he plans to murder.

Crash

After getting into a serious car accident, a TV director discovers an underground sub-culture of scarred, omnisexual car-crash victims, and he begins to use car accidents and the raw sexual energy they produce to try to rejuvenate his sex life with his wife.

Bullitt

Senator Walter Chalmers is aiming to take down mob boss Pete Ross with the help of testimony from the criminal's hothead brother Johnny, who is in protective custody in San Francisco under the watch of police lieutenant Frank Bullitt. When a pair of mob hitmen enter the scene, Bullitt follows their trail through a maze of complications and double-crosses. This thriller includes one of the most famous car chases ever filmed.

Don't Look Now

While grieving a terrible loss, a married couple meet two mysterious sisters, one of whom gives them a message sent from the afterlife.

Hospital!

Comedy about a brilliant young brain surgeon set in an unorthodox hospital. A "Naked Gun" type comedy from Britain, this one-off special was made specifically for the launch of Channel 5 in 1997.

Bamboozled

Frustrated when network brass reject his sitcom idea, producer Pierre Delacroix pitches the worst idea he can think of in an attempt to get fired: a 21st century minstrel show. The network not only airs it, but it becomes a smash hit.

Nothing Funny

One day, hospital orderlies, watching corpse in the morgue, recognize film director. Man, even though he died, he begins to remember his life. He made a career making movies, had numerous mistresses, but never realized their dreams. His life was interspersed with many setbacks that enfeebled him from the inside. Although he made a career in film, he was not happy with his life.

The Kingdom

Set in the neurosurgical ward of Copenhagen's Rigshospitalet, the city and country's main hospital, nicknamed "Riget", a number of characters, staff and patients alike, encounter bizarre phenomena, both human and supernatural.

Death Wish 3

Architect/vigilante Paul Kersey arrives back in New York City and is forcibly recruited by a crooked police chief to fight street crime caused by a large gang terrorizing the neighborhoods.

Tabaah

A man seeks solace from developments in his romantic life, turning to alcohol for comfort.

Princesses

Caye is a young prostitute whose family is unaware of her profession. She meets her striking Dominican neighbour Zulema, an illegal immigrant, after she finds her in the bathroom, badly beaten up. They strike up a close friendship unbeknownst to Caye's xenophobic co-workers.

Die Aufschneider

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Bean

Childlike Englishman, Mr. Bean, is an incompetent watchman at the Royal National Gallery. After the museum's board of directors' attempt to have him fired is blocked by the chairman, who has taken a liking to Bean, they send him to Los Angeles to act as their ambassador for the unveiling of a historic painting to humiliate him. Fooled, Mr. Bean must now successfully unveil the painting or risk his and a hapless Los Angeles curator's termination.

LSD: Trip to Where?

Three sailors are talked into trying LSD and marijuana--which, this film implies, are basically the same thing--and the effects of the drugs endanger the lives of their fellow sailors aboard ship.

Flawed Enough

Addy is having a perfectly normal day until her online girlfriend surprises her with a proposed first meeting. She should be over the moon. Except there's a problem. Addy hasn't told her she's deaf. Torn by the possibility of meeting her girlfriend but having it all go wrong, Addy struggles to decide whether she should go to the meeting or not. Luckily, her sister is there to help. Until she isn't. And suddenly, meeting Isla isn't a choice anymore. It's a last wish

Modern Times

A bumbling tramp desires to build a home with a young woman, yet is thwarted time and time again by his lack of experience and habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time..

Rapture

José Sirgado is a low-budget filmmaker whose heroin addiction distorts his perspective of the real world. Although he is a depressed and unstable individual, his mood improves when he receives the mysterious films of Pedro, with whom he shares his passion for cinema.

Chasing Ghosts

Lucas Simons, an 11-year-old filmmaker, is obsessed with death after the loss of his brother. When Lucas accidentally captures a mysterious presence in one of his films, he inadvertently becomes a YouTube phenomenon, and must learn to live life in the spotlight while also learning how to once again start living life to its fullest.

Sorceress

A young woman raised in the US returns to her birth country in Eastern Europe after a devastating tragedy. Questioning her sanity and her sexuality, she starts believing she possesses supernatural powers.

Hard to Kill

Mason Storm, a 'go it alone' cop, is gunned down at home. The intruders kill his wife, and think they've killed both Mason and his son too. Mason is secretly taken to a hospital where he spends several years in a coma. His son meanwhile is growing up thinking his father is dead. When Mason wakes up, everyone is in danger - himself, his son, his best friend, his nurse - but most of all those who arranged for his death

Little Women

With their father away as a chaplain in the Civil War, Jo, Meg, Beth and Amy grow up with their mother in somewhat reduced circumstances. They are a close family who inevitably have their squabbles and tragedies. But the bond holds even when, later, male friends start to become a part of the household.

Extreme Measures

Guy Luthan, a British doctor working at a hospital in New York, starts making unwelcome enquiries when the body of a man who died in his emergency room disappears. After the trail leads Luthan to the door of an eminent surgeon at the hospital, Luthan soon finds himself in extreme danger people who want the hospital's secret to remain undiscovered.

The Madness of King George

Aging King George III of England is exhibiting signs of madness, a problem little understood in 1788. As the monarch alternates between bouts of confusion and near-violent outbursts of temper, his hapless doctors attempt the ineffectual cures of the day. Meanwhile, Queen Charlotte and Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger attempt to prevent the king's political enemies, led by the Prince of Wales, from usurping the throne.

Life Eternal

Brenner returns to Graz, the city where he grew up. When confronted with his old friends, his former girlfriend and the major sin he committed when he was young, murders and a fateful gunshot to the head result. After Brenner comes out of a coma, he begins to search for the person who tried to kill him - however, everybody claims that he himself is responsible. In the beginning Brenner was at the end of his rope, but he could face a new beginning in the end.

Das Versprechen

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A Real Pain

Mismatched cousins David and Benji reunite for a tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history.

The Oh in Ohio

Frustrated with their relationship, Priscilla and Jack decide to take a break. While Jack moves into a new place of his own and starts dating a student, Priscilla discovers the joys of self-pleasuring and finds an unusual bedmate.

Hard Truths

Pansy is a woman so full of rage that every interaction she has devolves into lashing out, whether at her utterly cowed husband and son, or random strangers who have the temerity to address her. In contrast, her younger sister Chantelle lives with her two vivacious daughters and plies a successful trade as a hairdresser, putting clients at their ease all day long. Yet beneath Pansy’s abrasive exterior are hints of a more fragile psyche, one motivated by fear and damaged by repressed pain.

Talk to Her

Two men share an odd friendship while they care for two women who are both in deep comas.

Open Hearts

Cecilie and Joachim are about to get married when a freak car accident leaves Joachim disabled, throwing their lives into a spin. The driver of the other car, Marie, and her family don’t get off lightly, either. Her husband Niels works in the hospital where he meets Cecilie and falls madly in love with her.

Italian for Beginners

Several lonely hearts in a semi-provincial suburb of a town in Denmark use a beginner's course in Italian as the platform to meet the romance of their lives. The film, which unspools the connections and family drama shared between the students, complies with several aesthetic principles of Dogme 95 movement.

The Secret Life of Words

A solitary nurse bonds with a badly burned patient who survived an accident on an oil rig.

Bread and Tulips

An endearing light comedy about a woman who spontaneously becomes a resident of Venice after her family left her behind. While enjoying the wonderful people she meets she achieves a new life and the first time independent of her family.

The Hours

The story of three women searching for more potent, meaningful lives. Each is alive at a different time and place, all are linked by their yearnings and their fears. Their stories intertwine, and finally come together in a surprising, transcendent moment of shared recognition.

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Pepa resolves to kill herself with a batch of sleeping-pill-laced gazpacho after her lover leaves her. Fortunately, she is interrupted by a deliciously chaotic series of events.

The Heart Is a Dark Forest

A woman's life is destroyed when she discovers that her husband has another family.

Off the Map

An 11-year-old girl watches her father come down with a crippling depression. Over one summer, she learns answers to several mysteries and comes to terms with love and loss.