No Good for Anything (1908)

Follow That Bird

Big Bird is sent to live far from Sesame Street by a pesky social worker, who thinks it would be better for him to live with other birds. Unhappy, Big Bird runs away from his foster home, prompting the rest of the Sesame Street gang to go on a cross-country journey to find him.

Diary of a Chambermaid

Celestine has a new job as a chambermaid for the quirky M. Monteil, his wife and her father. When the father dies, Celestine decides to quit her job and leave, but when a young girl is raped and murdered, Celestine believes that the Monteils' groundskeeper, Joseph, is guilty, and stays on in order to prove it. She uses her sexuality and the promise of marriage to get Joseph to confess -- but things do not go as planned.

It's a Bear

As an entomologist and all-around wimp, Orlando Winthrop gets little respect from his wealthy parents. But when business needs to be taken care at the Winthrop sheep ranches out West, Orlando is raring to go. Upon his arrival, the ranchers see Orlando as an easy mark, but it turns out they're wrong. They try to take Orlando's money in a poker game -- and wind up broke themselves.

Scooby-Doo! and the Spooky Scarecrow

Scooby-Doo and the rest of the ghost-busting gang visit a quiet farm town where everyone is preparing for the annual Halloween harvest celebration.

Last Foxtrot in Burbank

Cult director Charles Band brings you this "Last Tango in Paris" spoof with editing by acclaimed filmmaker John Carpenter.

Figures Don't Lie

Figures Don't Lie is a showcase for the physical charms of lovely Esther Ralston, who in one scene proves the accuracy of the title by donning a fetching one-piece bathing suit. The main story concerns wise-guy insurance salesman Richard Arlen, who through a combination of hard work and sheer gall lands a job as sales manager. But he can't land heroine Ralston, who has remained cool to his charms ever since he tried to make a play for her on the street. A lost film.

Caffeine

A fanciful battle of the sexes ensues when the relationships of the staff and patrons of a quirky London café are unexpectedly turned upside down by sudden revelations of terribly embarrassing secrets having to do with their sexual misadventures. The food is not that good, but you can be yourselves and show yourselves for what you are: maniacs, perverts, gays, cheaters, violent old women, cross-dressers, whining singers, broken hearts... Come in, there is room!

Priceless

A beautiful young gold-digger mistakes a lowly hotel clerk as a rich and therefore worthwhile catch.

Three Kings

A group of American soldiers stationed in Iraq at the end of the Gulf War find a map they believe will take them to a huge cache of stolen Kuwaiti gold hidden near their base, and they embark on a secret mission that's destined to change everything.

Soldier of Fortune

Medieval soldier of fortune Ettore is traveling through Europe with his partners looking for a fight where they can earn some money. When they come across a Spanish castle under siege by the French army, Ettore bides his time to determine which side is the winning one. This is at first the French, but the treatment he receives from them is unpleasant enough to make him change his mind and turn to the Spanish side. Somehow, Ettore must rally the weakened Spanish troops to battle their enemy long enough for reinforcements to arrive.

Renaissance Man

An advertising man is slowly sliding downhill. When he is fired from his job in Detroit, he signs up for unemployment. One day they find him a job: teaching thinking skills to Army recruits. He arrives on base to find that there is no structure set up for the class.

Der brave Soldat Schwejk

Plot unavailable

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.

Ravenous

Upon receiving reports of missing persons at Fort Spencer, a remote Army outpost on the Western frontier, Capt. John Boyd investigates. After arriving at his new post, Boyd and his regiment aid a wounded frontiersman who recounts a horrifying tale of a wagon train murdered by its supposed guide – a vicious U.S. Army colonel gone rogue. Fearing the worst, the regiment heads out into the wilderness to verify the gruesome claims.

The Lost Bridegroom

Suffering from aphasia after being conked on the head, a man is coerced into robbing his fiancée's home.

Firewalker

A pair of adventurers try to track down an ancient Aztec/Mayan/Egyptian/Apache horde of gold.

I Served the King of England

Prague, Czechoslovakia, during the inter-war period. Jan Dítě, a young and clever waiter who wants to become a millionaire, comes to the conclusion that to achieve his ambitious goal he must be diligent, listen and observe as much as he can, be always discreet and use what he learns to his own advantage; but the turbulent tides of history will continually stand in his way.

Hats Off

Stan and Ollie are salesmen attempting to sell a washing machine; they fail constantly after several near misses. One would-be sale has them carrying the machine up a large flight of steps, only to find out that a young lady wants them to post a letter for her. The boys later get into an argument knocking off each other's hats, which eventually involves scores of others. A police van eventually carts all those involved away except Stan and Ollie, who afterwards try to find their own headgear amongst the hundreds of others lying on the street.

Waiting...

Employees at a Bennigan's-like restaurant (called, creatively enough, Shenanigan's), kill time before their real lives get started. But while they wait, they'll have to deal with picky customers who want their steak cooked to order and enthusiastic managers who want to build the perfect wait staff. Luckily, these employees have effective revenge tactics.

Sunshine Cleaning

A single mother and her slacker sister find an unexpected way to turn their lives around in this off-beat dramatic comedy. In order to raise the tuition to send her young son to private school the mom starts an unusual business – a biohazard removal/crime scene clean-up service.

The Probation Wife

A 1919 film directed by Sidney Franklin.

The Bastards' Fig Tree

A trigger-happy Nationalist fears retribution from the son of a man he executed. To mollify the boy's anger, he takes a drastic step: he keeps constant watch over the fig tree the boy has planted at his father's gravesite. As the years pass, the man's lonely vigil makes him a tourist attraction, much to the chagrin of his former colleagues.

Dry Martini

Upon hearing that his daughter Elizabeth, is coming from America to visit him in Paris, wealthy Willoughby Quimby, decides to give up dry martinis and women. However, Elizabeth seeks a wild time and ends up leaving France with her father's drinking buddy, Freddie, and Willoughby goes back to his dry martinis.

What Happened to Jones

Heeding the pleas of Bobbie Brown, Jimmie Jones packs his trunk full of liquor to present to his desperate friend and hops on a train. Upon his arrival, Jones discovers that his cargo has been purloined in transit, and while attempting to replenish his supplies by bargaining with the local bootlegger, is detected by the local sheriff.

The Good Fairy

In 1930s Budapest, naïve orphan Luisa Ginglebuscher becomes an usherette at the local movie house, determined to succeed in her first job by doing good deeds for others and maintaining her purity. Luisa's well-meaning lies get her caught between a lecherous businessman, Konrad, and a decent but confused doctor, Max Sporum. When Luisa convinces Konrad that she's married to Max, Konrad tries everything he can to get rid of the baffled doctor.

Scent of a Woman

An army cadet accompanies an irascible, blind captain on a week-long trip from Turin to Naples.

Not a War Story

Hollywood collides with a group of veterans who are tired of the typical PTSD and valor-portrayed movies and decide to make an original dark humor zombie apocalypse film all on their own.

Chungking Express

Two melancholic Hong Kong policemen fall in love: one with a mysterious underworld figure, the other with a beautiful and ethereal server at a late-night restaurant.

They Called Him Bulldozer

The "Bulldozer", a former football star, is now working as a fisherman. As a group of street-people arranges a football match against the local Armybase, he is asked to be their trainer. His boat was damaged by a submarine and he currently has no work, so he agrees.

Fightin' Mad

Returning to his father's cattle ranch after the excitement of serving in combat overseas, Bud McGraw becomes restless, and his father decides to send him to an old friend who commands the Border Police in Texas. On the way he meets Peggy Hughes, accompanying her Uncle Graham, a customs inspector, and he retrieves her hat from the rails of a train. At the headquarters, numerous scrapes and fights win him the admiration of, and friendship with, the men. Lazaro, a Secret Service agent, invites Mrs. Graham and Peggy, who are staying at the border station, for an automobile ride, and they are captured by bandits and held for ransom. Bud and his pals deliver the ransom and discover that Lazaro is the bandit chief. Lazaro refuses to release Peggy, but a jealous rival, Nita de Garma, causes his downfall and shoots him as the Border Police arrive to rescue the party.

There Are No Small Gods

In a small motel located next to the highway there's nothing but boredom and laziness, but only until the waiter Raka gets promotion becoming a DE chief (Duty executor) of it. He becomes obsessed with his position in no time, start pushing everybody around and acting like a "Small God", introducing reorganization. The staff prepares their revenge upon the visit of the general manager of all motels to this so-called renovated facility.

The Amazing Impostor

Rich young Joan Hope is ashamed of how her father made his money--as a chewing gum magnate. While taking a train trip, she meets the Countess of Crex, a member of the Russian nobility--who is, in reality, a jewel thief.

The Lucky Ones

The story revolves around three soldiers — Colee, T.K. and Cheaver — who return from the Iraq War after suffering injuries and learn that life has moved on without them. They end up on an unexpected road trip across the U.S.

Chef's Special

Maxi thinks his life is perfect. He is a famous cook who owns a successful restaurant in Chueca and is living his life as a gay man without much complex. But when his son Edu and his daughter Alba appear, and a new attractive neighbor comes along, it will have a strong effect on his life resulting in his values being challenged for ever.

Belle Époque

In 1931, a young soldier deserts from the army and falls into a country farm, where he is welcomed by the owner due to his political ideas. Manolo has four daughters, Fernando likes all of them and they like him, so he has to decide which one to love.

Project: ALF

Six years ago, the space alien ALF was on his way back to his new home when the Alien Task Force finally caught up with him. Now he is being studied at a top-secret base. There he finds allies who feel that ALF's existence should be announced to the world to ensure his safety... especially when they learn that the abrasive Colonel Milfoil wants ALF destroyed.

Her Night of Nights

Molly, a glamorous clothing model in New York, though yearning for a life of luxury, spurns the advances of her boss's son in favor of a shipping clerk, late of the backwoods.

The Trouper

Working as a wardrobe girl in a cheap traveling stock company, Mamie Judd secretly loves Jenks, the leading man, who scarcely notices the young girl. She saves Neal Selden, son of a small-town banker, from being accused of robbery and murder, acts committed by the company's manager and leading lady.

Are All Men Alike?

In this comedy-drama, May Allison plays Teddy Hayden, a very independent society miss. When her childhood sweetheart, Gerry West (Wallace MacDonald) takes her to a Greenwich Village cafe, she thinks she's found where she belongs. So she spends all her time there and gets herself in a load of trouble.

The Lord Loves the Irish

Miles Machree (J. Warren Kerrigan) meets Irish-American Sheila Lynch (Fritzi Brunette) when she travels through Ireland with her father (James O. Barrows). Soon after the Lynch's return to the States, Miles follows, and through his uncle's connections, gets a job on the New York City police force.