If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025)

$9.99

Have you ever wondered "What is the meaning of life? Why do we exist?" The answer to this vexing question is now within your reach! You'll find it in a small yet amazing booklet, which will explain, in easy to follow, simple terms your reason for being! The booklet, printed on the finest paper, contains illuminating, exquisite colour pictures, and could be yours for a mere $9.99.

Saving Face

A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations.

Loving Annabelle

Annabelle is the wise-beyond-her-years newcomer to an exclusive Catholic girls school. Having been expelled from her first two schools she's bound to stir some trouble. Sparks fly though when sexual chemistry appears between her and the Head of her dorm and English teacher, Simone Bradley. Annabelle pursues her relentlessly and until the end the older woman manages to avoid the law.

Girlfight

Diana Guzman begins to train as a boxer and achieves impressive success, blazing new trails for female boxers, all while keeping it a secret from her father.

Josie and the Pussycats

Josie, Melody and Val are three small-town girl musicians determined to take their rock band out of their garage and straight to the top, while remaining true to their look, style and sound. They get a record deal which brings fame and fortune but soon realize they are pawns of two people who want to control the youth of America. They must clear their names, even if it means losing fame and fortune.

Strike!

In the 1960s, a group of friends at an all girls school learn that their school is going to be combined with a nearby all boys school. They concoct a plan to save their school while dealing with everyday problems along the way.

The Mechanic

Arthur Bishop is a veteran hit man who, owing to his penchant for making his targets' deaths seem like accidents, thinks himself an artist. It's made him very rich, but as he hits middle age, he's so depressed and lonely that he takes on one of his victim's sons, Steve McKenna, as his apprentice. Arthur puts him through a rigorous training period and brings him on several hits. As Steven improves, Arthur worries that he'll discover who killed his father.

Princess Protection Program

When her nation is invaded, a young princess is taken into the Princess Protection Program. She is relocated to Louisiana, where she stays with a covert agent and his tomboyish daughter, and must learn how to behave like an ordinary teenager.

Grosse Pointe Blank

Hitman Martin Blank becomes a moving target after he rebuffs a fellow assassin's invitation to form a union. On the advice of his quirky assistant and neurotic psychiatrist, Martin begrudgingly heads out to Grosse Pointe, Michigan for his ten-year high school reunion, where he soon comes across the woman he jilted on prom night.

You've Got Mail

Book superstore magnate, Joe Fox and independent book shop owner, Kathleen Kelly fall in love in the anonymity of the Internet—both blissfully unaware that he's trying to put her out of business.

Half Baked

Three lovable party buds try to bail their friend out of jail. But just when the guys have mastered a plan, everything comes dangerously close to going up in smoke.

Blue Steel

Rookie cop Megan Turner orders a burglar to drop his gun. He whirls to shoot. Too late. Turner fires, killing him instantly. When someone lifts the assailant's gun from the crime scene, the police hold Turner accountable for killing an unarmed man. That same someone carves Turner's name into the bullets and uses them in a series of murders. Turner teams up with detective Nick Mann to clear her name and catch the killer. But she is drawn into a deadly game of wits with a psychopath who's always one step ahead… and much closer than she thinks!

Look Who's Talking

Mollie is a single working mother who's out to find the perfect father for her child. Her baby, Mikey, prefers James, a cab driver turned babysitter who has what it takes to make them both happy. But Mollie won't even consider James. It's going to take all the tricks a baby can think of to bring them together before it's too late.

Anger Management

After a small misunderstanding aboard an airplane escalates out of control, timid businessman Dave Buznik is ordered by the court to undergo anger management therapy at the hands of specialist Dr. Buddy Rydell. But when Buddy steps up his aggressive treatment by moving in, Dave goes from mild to wild as the unorthodox treatment wreaks havoc with his life.

Lantana

Plagued with grief over the murder of her daughter, Valerie Somers suspects that her husband John is cheating on her. When Valerie disappears, Detective Leon Zat attempts to solve the mystery of her absence. A complex web of love, sex and deceit emerges -- drawing in four related couples whose various partners are distrustful and suspicious about each other's involvement.

Thick Skinned

Two brothers set fire to a barn while drunk, inadvertently causing the death of a sleeping wanderer. One of them takes all the blame for the incident and spends ten years in prison.

The Darkest Minds

After a disease kills 98% of America's children, the surviving 2% develop superpowers and are placed in internment camps. A 16-year-old girl escapes her camp and joins a group of other teens on the run from the government.

Return to Me

It took a lot of cajoling to get Bob, a recently widowed architect, to go on a blind date at a quirky Irish-Italian eatery. Once there, he's smitten instantly not with his date but with the sharp-witted waitress. Everything seems to be going great until an unbelievable truth is revealed, one that could easily break both of their hearts for good.

Mr. Jones

The story about the relationship between a manic depressive man, Mr. Jones, and the female doctor who takes more than a professional interest in his treatment.

What Lies Beneath

When Claire Spencer starts hearing ghostly voices and seeing spooky images, she wonders if an otherworldly spirit is trying to contact her. All the while, her husband tries to reassure her by telling her it's all in her head. But as Claire investigates, she discovers that the man she loves might know more than he's letting on.

Signs

A family living on a farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields which suggests something more frightening to come.

Her Way

Marie, an independent and militant woman, has never needed anyone's help, including when it comes to raising her son. When the latter is expelled from his certificate of professional competence training class, Marie cannot accept it. Dreaming of a brighter future for him, she decides to enrol him in one of the best cooking schools in France.

Different Flowers

Uptight Millie Haven has always followed the rules, but when she has doubts before her big Kansas City wedding, her attitude-prone little sister Emma, the least likely of heroes, comes to the rescue. They embark on a spontaneous roadtrip to their grandmother’s farm where, with the help of Grandma Mildred, they rediscover their bond.

Marjoram

MARJORAM is a psychological suspense drama about a mother-daughter relationship in which love and abuse seem go hand in hand. Anna (11) is a smart and talented kid. Mary, her mother, actively supports Anna so that she can get the best out of her talents. However, suddenly Anna starts behaving in strange ways, putting herself in danger. When asked what is happening, Anna claims that she is just fine. Her weird behavior however continues, driving Mary to her limits. Why a child, who seems happy on the surface, is acting so unpredictably? Why a mother, who loves her child so much, is having no clue of what is going on?

Lady Chatterley

In the Chatterley country estate, monotonous days follow one after the other for Constance, trapped by her marriage and her sense of duty. During spring, deep in the heart of Wragby forest, she encounters Parkin, the estate’s gamekeeper. A tale of an encounter, a difficult apprenticeship, a slow awakening to sensuality for her, a long return to life for him. Or how love is but one with experience and transformation.

After the Wedding

A manager of an orphanage in India is sent to Copenhagen, Denmark, where he discovers a life-altering family secret.

Girl, Interrupted

Set in the changing world of the late 1960s, Susanna Kaysen's prescribed "short rest" from a psychiatrist she had met only once becomes a strange, unknown journey into Alice's Wonderland, where she struggles with the thin line between normal and crazy. Susanna soon realizes how hard it is to get out once she has been committed, and she ultimately has to choose between the world of people who belong inside or the difficult world of reality outside.

Mostly Martha

Martha is a single woman who lives for one passion: cooking. The head chef at a chic restaurant, Martha has no time for anything - or anyone - else. But Martha's solitary life is shaken when a fateful accident brings her sister's eight-year-old daughter, Lina, to her doorstep.

My Summer in Provence

In the wake of their parent's separation, three siblings spend the summer in the south of France with their estranged Grandfather. In less than 24 hours, a clash of generations has occurred between the teenagers and the old man. During this turbulent summer, both generations will be transformed by one another.

American Stories: Food, Family and Philosophy

Chantal Akerman explores Jewish American identity in this multilayered portrait of the immigrant experience. Shot in Brooklyn near the Williamsburg Bridge, Histoires D'Amérique takes the form of a series of first-person addresses delivered by a cross-section of Jewish New Yorkers, whose by turns tragic and humorous tales speak to a collective history of trauma, displacement, and resilience.

Midnight Cowboy

Joe Buck is a wide-eyed hustler from Texas hoping to score big with wealthy New York City women; he finds a companion in Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo, an ailing swindler with a bum leg and a quixotic fantasy of escaping to Florida.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein

The Chipmunks work in an amusement park attraction. After Alvin drives a crazy tour group, they miss their next performance and are locked in the park after closing time. Little do they know that the real Dr. Frankenstein has been hired in a new attraction called, "Frankenstein's Castle"; figuring that the castle isn't scary enough, the mad scientist recreates the real Monster.

Baise-moi

Nadine and Manu are two mad women, as tidy as can be, almost perfectionists. They have several things in common: extreme sex, drugs, beer and the trigger. They find the solution to their problems with guns and beware to those who dare to get in their way!

Frankenstein General Hospital

A mad doctor puts together a new body by using body parts he steals from a mortuary at the hospital where he works.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

Slacker duo Beavis and Butt-Head wake to discover their TV has been stolen. Their search for a new one takes them on a clueless adventure across America, during which they manage to accidentally become America's most wanted.

Erasing Eden

A young woman sabotages her own wedding in order to reclaim her identity and obliterates her life in the process.

Exam

A teenage girl gets involved in the process of delivering a pack of cocaine to its client, and gets stuck in a weird cycle of occurrences.

Brothers

A Danish officer, Michael, is sent away to the International Security Assistance Force operation in Afghanistan for three months. His first mission there is to find a young radar technician who had been separated from his squad some days earlier. While on the search, his helicopter is shot down and he is taken as a prisoner of war, but is reported dead to the family.

The Yes Men

A comic, biting and revelatory documentary following a small group of prankster activists as they gain worldwide notoriety for impersonating the World Trade Organization (WTO) on television and at business conferences around the world.

Dirty Pretty Things

An undocumented immigrant finds a human heart in one of the toilets of the west London hotel where he works with other undocumented immigrants.

Working Girl

When a secretary's idea is stolen by her boss, she seizes an opportunity to steal it back by pretending she has her boss' job.

Leave No Trace

A father and daughter live a perfect but mysterious existence in Forest Park, a beautiful nature reserve near Portland, Oregon, rarely making contact with the world. But when a small mistake tips them off to authorities, they are sent on an increasingly erratic journey in search of a place to call their own.

Felicitas

Buenos Aires at the outskirts of XIX century. A society rigid in patriarchal rules. A war between brothers of Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay and Paraguay. Two young and very much in love youngsters, fight for their right to be together. Obeyance and fear sets them apart along more than ten years. When they are finally reunited, will they be able to overcome the pain and tragedy that haunts them?

Got 2 Believe

Toni is a wedding coordinator who at 25 is considered an old maid by her family and friends. Lorenz is a photographer who does not believe in happy endings. A bet brings the two together and leaves them questioning their feelings for each other.

Bend It Like Beckham

Jess Bhamra, the daughter of a strict Indian couple in London, is not permitted to play organized soccer, even though she is 18. When Jess is playing for fun one day, her impressive skills are seen by Jules Paxton, who then convinces Jess to play for her semi-pro team. Jess uses elaborate excuses to hide her matches from her family while also dealing with her romantic feelings for her coach, Joe.

36 Fillette

Lili, a pouty and voluptuous 14-year-old, is caravan camping with her family in Biarritz. She's self-aware and holds her own in a café conversation with a concert pianist she meets, but she has a wild streak and she's testing her powers over men, finding that she doesn't always control her moods or actions, and she's impatient with being a virgin. She sets off with her brother to a disco, latching onto an aging playboy who is himself hot and cold to her. She is ambivalent about losing her virginity that night, willing the next, and determined by the third.

Monsoon Wedding

As the romantic monsoon rains loom, the extended Verma family reunites from around the globe for a last-minute arranged marriage in New Delhi. This film traces five intersecting stories, each navigating different aspects of love as they cross boundaries of class, continent and morality.

Cléo from 5 to 7

Agnès Varda eloquently captures Paris in the sixties with this real-time portrait of a singer set adrift in the city as she awaits test results of a biopsy. A chronicle of the minutes of one woman’s life, Cléo from 5 to 7 is a spirited mix of vivid vérité and melodrama, featuring a score by Michel Legrand and cameos by Jean-Luc Godard and Anna Karina.

Monster

An emotionally scarred highway drifter shoots a sadistic trick who rapes her, and ultimately becomes America's first female serial killer.

Fire

In a barren, arranged marriage to an amateur swami who seeks enlightenment through celibacy, Radha's life takes an irresistible turn when her beautiful young sister-in-law seeks to free herself from the confines of her own loveless marriage.

Requiem

Michaela, an epileptic, enrolls in college to study education. She goes off her medication and soon begins hearing voices and seeing apparitions that tell her to avoid religious objects, although she is devoutly Roman Catholic. One priest scoffs at the idea that Michaela could be possessed by demons, but a younger pastor arranges an exorcism for the young woman.

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday

Monsieur Hulot, Jacques Tati’s endearing clown, takes a holiday at a seaside resort, where his presence provokes one catastrophe after another. Tati’s masterpiece of gentle slapstick is a series of effortlessly well-choreographed sight gags involving dogs, boats, and firecrackers; it was the first entry in the Hulot series and the film that launched its maker to international stardom.

Annaluise & Anton

Luise, called Pünktchen, and Anton are closest of friends. Being the daughter of a wealthy surgeon, young Pünktchen lives in a great house. Her mother, who always travels through the world more for public relation reasons than for the social tasks she pretends to fulfill, is never available to her as a mother. Anton, son of a single and sick mother in financial trouble, does his best to help her out of it by working late. Pünktchen decides to help her only friend (as nobody else would anyway) and starts singing in public places. Trouble arises when Anton can't resist stealing a golden lighter and Pünktchen's secret life is discovered by her parents. Two troubled families finally can see the need for actions to be taken.

L'Animale

Riding on their tuned-up bikes, Mati and her posse of male friends intimidate their neighborhood and harass the girls. In their village, they rule. But when her closest pal Sebastian falls in love with Mati and her enemy Carla unexpectedly turns into a friend, Mati is in danger of losing her standing among her male friends. Meanwhile Mati’s parents have a decision to make: What's more important, appearances or reality?

Queen Christina

Popular monarch Queen Christina of Sweden must choose between love and loyalty to her nation when she unexpectedly falls for a Spanish envoy.

Lighthouse

An obsessive fan rescues a famous musician from a car crash, then takes her to his secluded lighthouse.

Honey and Ashes

Set against the vibrant backdrop of contemporary North Africa, this drama follows three women as they navigate the complex interplay between tradition and modernity. Each woman, driven by her own desires for success and meaningful relationships, faces societal pressures and cultural constraints that test their resolve. As their lives unexpectedly intersect, they reveal the shared struggles and resilience needed to overcome the obstacles placed in their path.

Ijé: The Journey

Anya's dream turned into a nightmare when she was accused of killing 3 men. For her to regain her freedom she had to share her secret with world. With help of her sister Chioma and an inexperienced attorney Ijé tells the story in a riveting way with an unexpected climatic ending. It's a story that conveys the fusion of the African culture with the American culture in a court room like no other.

Malu

Malu — a mercurial, unemployed actress living with her conservative mother in a precarious house in a Rio de Janeiro slum — tries to deal with her strained relationship with her own adult daughter while surviving on memories of her glorious artistic past.

Tendaberry

When her boyfriend returns to Ukraine to care for his ailing father, 23-year-old Dakota must navigate the precarious anxiety of holding onto the past and forging her future in the midst of her South Brooklyn universe.

Edelweiss Hotel

Alex is a millionaire who wants to be a billionaire. To achieve this goal, he embarks on a risky adventure. At once, he learns about a hotel in the mountains, which allegedly contains a huge amount of gold. The businessman comes up with a simple plan to arrive at the scene, make friends with the owner of the hotel, enchant his daughter, marry her, and become those who will eventually get all the gold. This flawless plan turned out to have several weaknesses. Other adventurers know about the gold, and the daughter of the hotel owner is engaged.

Crazy for Christmas

A girl loses her parents and husband and is left driving a limo trying to get by raising her young son. An interesting but strange rich man hires her limo on Christmas eve and has her drive him to various ice rinks where he gives out $100 bills to the people there. The news media catches on and starts following him.

The Milk of Sorrow

Fausta is suffering from a rare disease called the Milk of Sorrow, which is transmitted through the breast milk of pregnant women who were abused or raped during or soon after pregnancy. While living in constant fear and confusion due to this disease, she must face the sudden death of her mother. She chooses to take drastic measures to not follow in her mother's footsteps.

Wives III

This mellow comedy is the third entry in filmmaker Anja Breien's "Wives" series and stars the same three actresses who appeared in the first two. This episodic film begins with flashbacks to the 1975 film Wives and scenes from 1985's Wives: Ten Years Later. Now ten more years have passed and they are comfortably ensconced in middle age. They have gathered to hold a surprise birthday for Kaja aboard an Oslo streetcar. The three haven't seen each other in ages and much of the story focuses on their discussions of their disparate lives. Every word, smile and tear they share affirms the depth of their lasting friendship.

Ratcatcher

James Gillespie is 12 years old. The world he knew is changing. Haunted by a secret, he has become a stranger in his own family. He is drawn to the canal where he creates a world of his own. He finds an awkward tenderness with Margaret Anne, a vulnerable 14 year old expressing a need for love in all the wrong ways, and befriends Kenny, who possesses an unusual innocence in spite of the harsh surroundings.